


in the heat of the summer.

by jazthestampede (princejellychu)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1980s, Domestic Violence, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, For the most part, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Human Kyuubi | Nine-tails | Kurama, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Original Character(s), Out of Character, POV First Person, Recreational Drug Use, Teenagers, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Underage Drug Use, and i do mean everyone is out of character, kurama is naruto's older brother, oc is naruto's older sister, teenagers scare the shit outta me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-02-06 19:27:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 41,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12824424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princejellychu/pseuds/jazthestampede
Summary: in the summer of 1987, naruto meets sasuke.all hell breaks loose.





	1. Prologue

I met him in the summer of 1987; with his stupid fuckin’ hair: bone straight bangs parted right down the middle and a curly mass of complete bullshit in the back, all of it the color of fresh shoe polish. He told me my fried yellow afro wasn’t much better, and honestly it probably wasn’t, but at least it wasn’t a goddamn mullet. Business in the front, party in the back my ass. 

We were both sixteen: young, dumb as fuck with all the subtlety of goddamn bull elephant, and not to mention full of cum; ready and willing to hose any willing party in a fifty mile radius with our squirmy lil’ y-chromosome carriers. Juniors in high school with an invisible chip on our shoulders, utter disdain for authority figures, and a master plan to get the fuck outta Konoha.

To this day, I can’t fuckin’ remember exactly what the master plan even was. He remembers, but won’t fuckin’ tell me, that asshole. Says I shouldn’t have snorted all that bleach and maybe I’d remember. Whatever, he did twice as much as I ever dared to. He always was the more adventurous of the two of us on that particular front, and everyone says that I’m reckless. This motherfucker had it tattooed on his knuckles, going at least 220 miles an hour, high as a kite, with no damn seatbelt on ‘cause he cut them outta the damn car.

He literally stared the devil himself in the eyes, and spat directly into his mouth. I’ve never been that fuckin’ crazy, at least I don’t think I was. Then again, I could see the iguanas in my corneas on a regular basis, so who really knows, ya know. It’s all a lil’ fuzzy. What the fuck is a cornea anyway?

Any fuckin’ ways, we were just two bored ass kids in a city fulla bored ass kids. We had no real problems, well, a few of us did. And what did bored ass teenagers do in the eighties? The same exact shit our parents, their parents, their parents, and every other generation before us did. We ran the streets, got high, fucked anything ready, willing, and preferably not bolted to the goddamn floor. (That’s a funny story actually, I’mma talk about it later.) We all saw God, some of us saw Beelzebub, and some of us (me) saw the iguanas in our corneas. I finally remembered what those were, by the way.

I gotta say, it was a lotta fuckin' fun. 


	2. june 27, 1987

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the namikazes get new neighbors.

_June 27, 1987_

_It’s fuckin’ hot. Dad put one of the air conditioners in his and ma’s room and the other downstairs in the living room. It’s alright if you keep your door open, but after seeing my mama and daddy bumpin’ uglies against the wall, next to the bathroom no less last month, I really ain’t trying to open this motherfucker again._

_I opened it today though, too hot for even my morals. At this point I don’t care about seeing anyone in this house naked, shit I’m not wearing pants or a shirt my damn self. And I ain’t tryna put none on either. Ah fuck, ma just called me downstairs and ordered that I put some goddamn pants on._

* * *

 

“So much for _that_ plan.” I mumble, picking up the first pair of jean cutoffs I find on my dirty ass floor. I don’t even bother sniffin’ em, just slide em on without buttoning. If they fall off my ass on the way downstairs, I’ll enjoy the breeze. And trust me, I’ll enjoy the fuck out of it.

Apparently, some shit was going down outside. Ma and papa kneeling on one love seat; Nami, Kakashi, and Kurama on the other, all staring out the windows and across the street. I squeeze in between Kakashi and Kurama and crowd into the window too.

“Mrs. Nara beating Shikamaru's ass in the middle of the street again?” I ask Kakashi. He shakes his head and points. There’s a moving truck in the driveway of the house directly across the street from us. So far I haven’t seen a living soul, even though the front door is wide open. Maybe we’re experiencing a mass hallucination, like that one time me, Kiba, and Shikamaru dropped acid in his mom’s car.

“Ain’t nobody been in there in at least twelve damn years, not since Granny Mito died.” Papa mumbles.

“She probably still hauntin’ it.” Ma snorts.

“Kushina that’s no way to talk about your great aunty.”

“Shit, she lived to be a hundred and twelve years old, and in the last six months of them years, she would smack the dog shit outta me and tell me I was fuckin’ Uncle Hashirama. Hashirama died at least ten years before that.” Dad just gives her that old, tired ass look he probably been givin’ her since before any of us was even born. It makes him look constipated. Meanwhile, me and my siblings tryna keep from laughing. Granny Mito was wild.

“Ooh damn, who is that?” Nami exclaims loud enough to draw all of our attention back to the window. Someone finally walked outta the house and to the moving truck. I guess Nami must've seen their face to be hollering like that. The person in question is kinda on the tall enough to be called tall side, a big ol’ thick ass, long ass ponytail draped between their shoulders, and broad ass shoulders at that. They had the whitest fuckin’ arms I have ever fuckin’ seen in my entire sixteen years of life. If he were any paler, I’d have to ask Kimimaro if they were related whenever he decided to blow back into town.

They unlock the hatch and raise the door on the truck, reaching inside to grab a couple brown cardboard boxes. Once they step back and turn around, arms full, we get a good glimpse of their face. It’s a boy, pretty as shit too. I can see Nami licking her chops out the corner of my eye, looks like she found her new Flavor of the Week. I give him four days, maybe three if she takes him a batch of banana pudding over there.

“I wonder if he the only one there. I might have to get me a piece of that.” I thank the Lord on a daily basis that Papa is a patient, loving, caring man, 'cause had it been anyone else, Ma would be dead or in jail for beatin’ the livin’ fuck outta our potential daddy. Just then, someone else walks out, a woman this time. Looks like she could be Ma’s age, must be Pretty Boy’s mama. A man follows less than four minutes afterward, must be Pretty Boy’s daddy, cause they got the same eye bags. He turns and hollers some shit back into the house. I wish I could've heard what he said, but none of us was trying to let the blessed cold air out, or that hot, sticky ass summer air in either. He look mad as hell though, he won’t stop side eyeing the front door with a glare I swear I can feel from over here. Whoever that is on the inside of that house gotta have iron balls to stand up to that. I get my answer less than two minutes later in the form of a teenage boy no older than me with a Sony Walkman attached to his belt and headphones firmly on his ears.

Now I understand why Nami was lickin’ her chops earlier. I licked mine too. I always did like a little attitude in my Flavor of the Month. (I’ve always been able to last longer than my older sister when it came to conquests.) This one looked like he had plenty in that pretty lil’ face of his.

Is it possible to fall in love in less than thirty seconds? I don’t actually know, that’s why I’m even asking myself this damn question, but I sure as shit ain’t trying to find out today. Too hot for that bullshit.


	3. june 29, 1987

_June 29, 1987_

 

_So, I finally know who mine and my sister’s flavors of the week/month are. Pretty Boy’s name is Itachi. He wears the thickest goddamn glasses I’ve ever seen, but he smokes weed, drops acid sometimes, and owns an NES. Huge bonus. I hope Nami don’t chew him up and grind his bones into dust too quick. He seems really cool, like if he wasn’t twenty-two I’d hit him with my best shot myself. His brother is the complete opposite though. He’s got the stupidest fuckin’ hair I ever did see._

  _Sasuke. His name is Sasuke. He’s beautiful. Pretty like his brother but with all the rebellion of a pissed off rattlesnake or a member of Motley Crue. Razor sharp too, smart as a whip apparently, ‘cause he ain’t even sixteen yet and his parents are considering skipping him up a grade when school starts. Yet he don’t seem interested in any of that shit._

  _His mama, Miss Mikoto (she told me to call her that instead of Mrs. Uchiha) is a homemaker or whatever it is you call stay at home mamas these days. I can kinda see the embers of a rebel spirit in her, if that hint of faded tattoo ink on her shoulder is any indication. His daddy, Mr. Uchiha, he wouldn’t even tell us his first name. Papa is the damn mayor, like where the fuck does he get off with that bullshit? He’s the new police chief apparently, that’s why they’re even in Konoha in the first damn place. Gonna clean this shithole up and turn us all into self-serving yuppies or somethin’. Good luck with all that, every kid in this town has some sorta love affair with self destruction. There’s somethin’ glorious about dying a tragic death young, ya know?_

  _Makes perfect sense that both his sons are fuckin’ degenerates. Then again I ain’t really got no room to talk, Papa’s the mayor and yet all four of us (includin’ golden boy Kakashi) been suspended at least once for either punching someone’s lights out or smokin’ squares in the bathroom at school. Kurama, that dipshit, actually managed to set the boy’s room on fire. Stupid asshole threw his still lit cigarette in the fuckin’ trash. The walls in that bathroom are still scorched black and he still ain’t allowed in the building or on the premises period. At least it’s a fun story to tell his kids if he ever has any._

  _Anyway, I gotta go convene with Shika and Kiba over at Castle Bumblefuck. Be back later._

* * *

 

Castle Bumblefuck was an old playground that’s probably been around since the late fifties, or even earlier than that. Me and Kiba coined the name when we were about four or five and just learning how to string cuss words together in a fairly cohesive manner. Shika always thought the name was fuckin’ stupid and he’s not wrong, it really is, but it stuck. After all, every single kid that’s ever had sex in this place has risked tetanus just to get their first piece of action at good ol’ Castle Bumblefuck, myself included.

 Castle Bumblefuck was more than a playground, it was a right of passage. It’s also where we could get high and no one would bother us. Shikamaru was already there, lying on the slide, eyes closed with a joint between his lips and Mothership Connection playing softly on the ghettoblaster he got for Christmas. He’s always been a simple dude, just livin’ life for the moment and not really giving a shit about the future. He skipped 8th grade altogether and he’s prolly gonna fail his senior year, prolly just so he can graduate with us. Or maybe he won’t, his mama might actually kill him.

 I walk up to him just to see if he’s breathing, he is, but it’s real slow like he’s already ascended the astral plane, reached the mothership, and can’t come back down. I snatch the still lit joint outta his mouth and take a hit for myself. Shit, I wanna be that high too. Apparently that was enough to wake his lazy ass up, guess he was still smoking.

 “I was still smokin’ that, asshole.” he rasps, cracking an eye open and staring into my soul. It woulda been intimidating, if that eye wasn’t completely bloodshot.

 I exhale, “Really? I thought you’d seen God and finally managed to give up the ghost.” He sits up and rubs his eyes, opening them slowly while scratching his ponytail. Fucker had some pretty hair when he actually bothered to comb and brush it. Like today, must be tryna get on someone’s good side.

 He chuckles, “I fuckin’ wish man,” I pass the joint back to him, “where’s Kiba?”

 “Prolly still ass deep in dog shit at the kennel. Miss Tsume trying to make an example of her boy.”

“Shouldn’t have tried to borrow her car to go get his shit from that one girl a couple cities over.”

 “You right,” he passes the joint back and I take another hit, “you met the new neighbors yet?”

 “The ones who just moved into Granny Mito’s house a couple days ago? Nah.”

 “They’re alright, the mom and the sons are cool, dad’s our new police chief.”

 “How cool are they if their dad’s a narc?” he questions, see what I mean about him being smart?

 “The older one drops acid and smokes weed, the younger one has stupid ass hair, and their mom has a tattoo on her shoulder.”

 “Not convincing enough.”

 “They own an NES.”

 “I retract my previous statement. They got Zelda?”

 I shrug, “I ain’t ask.” That makes him stand up and stretch.

 “They must be pretty or somethin’. Ain’t no damn way you woulda been too distracted to ask about Zelda otherwise.” He motions for the joint and I hand it to him. He finishes it off while staring me down.

 “Why you gotta do me like that man?” I whine.

 “I been knowing you since I was two, I know exactly how shallow and easily distracted you are.” Just then I hear a sharp whistle followed by the sound of a bike chain clicking, looks like Kiba finally decided to show up, probably still stinkin’ like a dog on the World’s Most Raggedy Bike. He puts his foot down and skids to a stop just in front of us, smiling like he’s got the world’s best secret. “Yo dog breath, the fuck you been?”

 Kiba, the shithead, won’t stop grinning long enough to answer Shika’s question, so I smack him in the back of the head. He _still_ doesn’t stop fuckin’ grinning and it’s gettin’ on my nerves. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a fat sack of weed and a baggie full of paper perforated into smaller squares.

 “I come bearing gifts, boys.”

 Thank God for Kiba Inuzuka, he always manages to find good shit. When he holds out the bag of paper to me, I break off a tiny square, pop it on the back of my tongue until it dissolves, and sit down. Shikamaru’s already lyin’ back down on the slide and I prop myself up on his legs. Kiba’s at the ghettoblaster, rewinding the tape, and I throw my hand up onto Shika’s thigh and motion for the joint. The fucker finished smokin’ most of it and left me with the tiniest roach I’ve ever seen.

Kiba, the saint, is sitting down, cigarette clenched between his teeth and his fingers working deftly on rolling the perfect spliff.     

 These are the times I live for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank all of y'all for the kudos and bookmarks! they make me feel warm and fuzzy inside!


	4. july 3, 1987.

_July 3, 1987._

  _Still hot, and it’s only gonna get hotter. I don’t even care about my morals anymore, I gave in and opened the door. So far I’ve seen everyone’s naked ass and more of my mom and sister’s tits than strictly necessary. I ain’t mad, I’m sure they’ve seen plenty of mine too._

_Today is Neji’s eighteenth birthday. I wonder if Gaara and them are gonna blow into town tonight since there’s bound to be a party. I kinda miss him, I’m tired of spending all my time with Shika and Kiba or in the house. So far we all been invited: me, my brothers, and my sister. I think Nami invited the Uchiha boys too, since they’re degenerates and we both wanna find out how they party. They look like a good time, in both ways. Ha, both ways._

  _Nami’s starting to move in on Itachi, but she’s goin’ at it real slow, like she genuinely wants to get to know him, and he looks at her like she’s the hottest shit since sliced wonderbread. He either gotta be repressed (which I doubt, he’s too pretty even with the coke bottle glasses) or one hell of a chubby chaser. I’m happy for my sister though, she deserves a little love in her life. Shit, maybe we all do._

 

* * *

 

 “There’s gonna be a big party at Neji’s tonight, since his uncle’s outta town.” Kiba tells me, sitting on my front porch like he was just waiting for me to come outside. I pull up a chair and sit next to him, pulling a pack of cigarettes outta the pockets of my shorts.

 “Cool. Hey, do you know if Gaara and them are coming?” I mumble, cigarette between my lips as I light it. Kiba steals the pack outta my hand and lights his own square.

 “Don’t know, I talked to Kankuro last night but he ain’t tell me if they were gonna come or not.” I snort, damn near choking on a lungful of smoke.

 "You sure that’s all y’all talked about?”

 “Who I get fucked by ain’t none of your business, Naru.”

 "It really ain’t, but you still tell me about it anyway.” I found out about Kiba and Kankuro one night when I was taking a good ol’ midnight stroll and stumbled upon them on the slide at Castle Bumblefuck last year. I wouldn’t sit on that slide for a month.

 “Better than _you_.”

 “You top me all the damn time so I ain’t got a great frame of reference to compare him to.”

 Kiba concedes, “You right,” he finishes his smoke by puffing out a string of smoke rings, the show off, “I wonder if Shika’s gonna try askin’ Temari out again tonight.”

 “Man’s got a death wish.”

 “For as smart as he is, he’s also a complete and utter dumbass when it comes to women.”

 “He’s been screwing _us_ , we’re easy and we know he ain’t shit. Temari’s different, she ain’t falling for it.”

 “We’ll find out tonight, I guess. C’mon, let's go.”

 “Where?”

“Hell if I know. Somewhere.”

 Somewhere ends up bein’ Akimichi Barbecue, and the first thing Mr. Akimichi does when he sees us enter is roll his eyes and call for Chouji.

 “Yeah, Pops?” Chouji responds, sounds like he’s in the kitchen.

 “Them damn friends of yours is here.” Mr. Akimichi eyes us with tired eyes, “Look boys, Chouji’s busy today, so don’t keep him too long, alright?”

 I respond with a smile on my face, “Don’t worry Mr. Chouza, we won’t keep him long at all.” And with that, he walks out of the front door. Me and Kiba look at each other and watch the window ‘til he’s outta sight before scrambling over counter, heading for the kitchen.

 “Oh hey, it’s y’all two,” Chouji greets us, not even looking up from the pork shoulder he’s currently currently shredding, “I thought it was somebody important.”

 “Who’s more important than us?” Kiba snorts.

 “Aranami Uzumaki.” Chouji grins, turning to the stove and grabbing the pot of barbecue sauce simmering on there.

“She’d crush you under one ass cheek.” I drawl, eyeing the sauce drenched pork, and Chouji ain’t even done pouring it all in yet. He catches the way I’m lookin’ at the food and rolls his eyes.

 “As long as it’s my head she’s crushin’. That’s my ultimate fantasy you know, I’mma be ya brother in law one day Naru, you just wait.”

 I scrunch my face up at the thought. “She don’t like young meat. You ain’t even on her radar anyway, she’s diggin’ our new neighbor.”

 “Damn. One day.”

 Kiba looks interested, “New neighbors?” I scoff and smack the back of his head.

 “You don’t listen do you? I told you about em last week.” He shrugs.

 “You just mentioned somethin’ about a Sasuke bein’ the finest thing you ever seen, you ain’t really tell me about ‘em.”

 “Is y’all really about to argue in my kitchen or do y’all want a sandwich?” Chouji deadpans, spatula ready to serve.

 “Sandwich.” me and Kiba say in unison.

 “Shut the hell up then!”

 “You know Chouji, Nami said she’d show up at Neji’s,” I mention.

 He gives me an extra helping of shoulder meat on my sandwich, bless his soul.

 

* * *

 

Neji’s one of the few of us who live in the “good” part of Konoha, the part with less crime because there’s more “middle class” folks here than us delinquents living fifteen minutes away in the hood. My parents coulda moved out here, but our house was a gift from Granny Sachiko and it was already paid for. Living out here also meant higher quality drugs, big bonus. I knock on the door and Neji’s baby cousin Hanabi answers, not even saying hello, just pointing us in the direction of the party before going to lock herself in her room upstairs. She’s a good girl, mean as cat shit, but none of us wanna corrupt that innocence. Not to mention Neji would kill every last one of us and his uncle would sue.

 By the time I make my way down the basement stairs, the party’s already in full swing: girls dancing on tables, people sucking face in the corner, or snorting bumps of coke off their hands, a table, or a mirror that's being passed around. That’s how I know they ain’t from here. People in Konoha can’t fuckin’ afford coke, at least good coke anyway. I find Neji in a chair, Tenten and Lee both in his lap, Tenten with a cup of what looks and smells like cheap vodka in her hand, and Lee staring over them both at a spot on the wall with a blush on his cheeks. Looks like he’s already done for the night.

 “Got the party started without me, huh?” I question as I hug Tenten with one arm and bump fists with Neji with the other. She giggles in my ear. I cup my hand in front of Lee’s face to see if he’s still breathing. Neji just looks fuckin’ bored.

 “I didn’t do shit, them girls over there just showed the hell up and Hanabi let them in. They brought booze and shit so it ain’t all bad.” he answers.

 “So you don’t even know the people fuckin’ up your uncle’s furniture?”

 “Nope, let em fuck it up if they want.”

 “Hinata wouldn’t be happy to hear you say that.”

 “You see Hinata over there?” Neji points to a corner where Hinata sits with Temari, eyes low, with Temari’s hand slowly creeping up her thigh, “She doesn’t give a shit and Hanabi won’t narc.” A sliver of light appears at the top of the stairs, where the door’s just cracked open. The first thing I see is a well-loved pair of combat boots attached to one of the best sets of legs I’ve ever seen, and I know those legs well.

 Neji crooks a smile, “Looks like your fuckbuddy’s here.”

It might just be a good night after all.

* * *

 

 

There are three universal truths about Gaara.

 One, no one knows what his last name is. No one. I asked Temari once, and she tried to set my ass on fire.

 Two, he’s fuckin’ gorgeous. He’s got these pretty fuckin’ green eyes, so bright that you don’t even pay attention to the purple eye bags underneath ‘em and this wild ass, fire engine red hair, and that deep, scratchy voice and it’s just….god.

 Three, he’s the match to my gasoline. Seriously, Gaara is one of my best friends; always down for whatever and hilarious in his utter bitchiness. Everyone thinks I only hang around him ‘cause he’s pretty, I'm shallow, and we’re both the babies in our families, but Gaara is fuckin’ funny. He just has this vibe like he’s gonna kill ya or take a shit ‘cause his of his deadpan face. Also, he don’t expect nothin’ from me, never has.

 I think I might love him, but what the fuck do I know? Accordin’ to my own mama, I still don’t know how to wipe own my ass right.

 He throws his arms around my shoulders and buries his head in the side of my neck, smellin’ like that night blooming Jasmine perfume he likes so much. I like it too, honestly; makes him smell like some sorta ethereal being, like how I would imagine Hera, or Aphrodite, or Persephone to.

 He presses his lips to the side of my neck and whispers in his, “I got somethin’ for you.” I rub my chin against his hair and press my cheek to his head.

 “Oh yeah?” He removes himself from my neck and grabs my hand.

 “C’mon, let’s get outta here.”

 

* * *

 

There are three universal truths about cocaine.

 One, it fuckin’ burns when you snort it, kinda like sniffin’ cayenne pepper.

 Two, it wakes you right the fuck up and hits you like your mama just slapped the taste buds outta ya mouth.

 Three, it sets your skin on fire, like a couple thousand fire ants are crawling over a bad sunburn. It also kicks in real fast, like one second ago (more like fifteen minutes ago) I was doin’ a tiny lil’ bump off Gaara’s hand in Neji’s backyard and now he’s rocking back and forth laughin’ his ass off in my lap with my hands tickling his sides. His smile is gorgeous, with his crooked front teeth and eyes completely closed. I don’t really fool around with coke much since it just sends me flyin’, but with Gaara here it’s just a great fuckin’ time. He grabs my forearms and it sends the fire ants scuttling across my bones.

 “God, stop! Naru stop!” he cackles in that low voice of his and I relent, letting his wheezing ease into a normal breathing pattern. He stands up and dusts himself off before offering me his hand. When I stand up, my entire universe just flips itself on its ass and I have to be lead back inside because I’m too goddamn jittery and can't walk in a straight line.

 The first thing I lay my eyes on when we get back inside--other than Kankuro checkin’ Kiba’s esophagus for strep throat--is my sister. With Itachi in _her_ lap, sharing a joint and whisperin’ at each other and shit. I’m a lil’ bit jealous, but then again she’s got the advantage of being out of her weird Teen Angst Bullshit phase on her side. But that begs the question, if Nami and Pretty Boy are here, where’s Beautiful at?

 I take a long sweeping look over the room and spy Shika and Chouji hanging out on a couch together, Shika looking a weird combination of dejected and victorious, but there’s no Temari in sight; no wait, she’s crowding someone in the corner, hiking a leg up around her waist-- _holy shit_ those are Hinata’s shoes, what the fuck--and I finally spot him, over in the corner with the weird burnout kids I don’t know, cigarette between his lips and looking bored. One of ‘em, a guy with snow white hair and Light-Brite white skin offers him an open beer. He takes it and chugs it in three smooth gulps, before walking away.

 Well, that shouldn’t have been as hot as it was.

 Gaara finally notices me staring and knocks my shoulder with a grin spreadin’ over his painted lips. I immediately feel my blood freeze. Nothin’ good ever comes outta Gaara grinning.

 “Oh?” he whispers, questions burning on his lips. My heart’s beating out of my chest, I’m way too high for this, or I’m not high enough. Either way, nothing good _ever_ comes outta Gaara grinning. The last time Gaara smiled, we ended up in our underwear feedin' Doritos to a tree and bookin’ it from half the cops in Suna’s police department. To this day, I still don’t even know how I ended up in Suna, and I sure as shit don’t wanna know what he’s got up his sleeve now. Whatever it is, it’ll be a fuckin’ riot if I live through it. He grabs the collar of my shirt and tugs me down to ask, “What’s his name, Naru?”

 “Sasuke.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this was a lot, i've rewritten it a few times already and i hope it's enjoyable. i'm also getting the hang of formatting and editing! i hate google docs i swear.)


	5. july 4, 1987.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> enter sasuke.

_July 4, 1987_

_I can’t remember shit from Neji’s party. All I know is that I woke up in his backyard next to a puddle of my own puke, with a soul crushing pain in my skull, and dragged my sorry ass home. Only to see my sister and Itachi, who I guess is her boyfriend now, eatin’ bowls of Cap’n Crunch with my parents and Kakashi on the couch. All dressed and ready to get the day started and shit, turns out it’s 2 in the afternoon. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted Gaara._

_But I guess whatever he did worked, ‘cause I found thirty bucks and Sasuke’s number in my pocket._

* * *

 

Holy. Shit. I have Sasuke’s phone number. I have the boy of my dreams’s phone number in my hands. There’s a little note on the back, too:

_You know how to have a good time, Sunshine. Call me when you sober up._

Oh fuck, oh shit, oh _fuck_. Do I call him now? I’m sober enough, but the phone is all the way down in the kitchen and the cord isn’t quite long enough to reach my room if I take it off the wall… Maybe I can get it to the top of the stairs so my nosy ass parents and siblings can’t hear. Yeah, that’s a good plan.

I head downstairs and walk past the living room, towards the kitchen before Nami calls out, “Well, if it ain’t Tiffany himself!”

Well, I guess I know what I did last night. Tiffany is my alter ego, she only comes out when I get too fucked up on somethin’ and start my very own strip show. I flip her the double bird and grab the phone off the wall before hauling ass outta there, barely catching Itachi’s comment, “It’s alright Naruto, my baby brother _really_ liked it.”

Fuck, Jesus kill me now. No wait, don’t kill me now, I gotta thank Gaara first.

“Hello?” a kind voice answers the phone, damn I was hoping Sasuke would pick up instead. Now it’s all awkward.

“Uh, hi Miss Mikoto, it’s Naruto from across the street. Is Sasuke home?” I manage.

She giggles for a few seconds before replying, “He sure is, sweetie! You wanna talk to him?”

“Yes ma’am, I would.”

“Such a polite boy,” I hear her call out for her younger son, “he’ll be right down, just hold on a second. Oh, and Naruto?”

“Yes?”

“Will you tell Itachi that the coast is clear? His father went in early this morning.”

“I sure will, Miss Mikoto.” I knew she was fuckin’ cool. There’s a little noise in the background as a deeper voice comes through the receiver and I hold my fucking breath because _holy shit I’m getting ready to--_

“Hello?” Fuck his voice is so good, “Naruto?”

I swallow, “Yeah, I found your number in my pocket. You told me to call you when I sobered up.”

“Oh yeah, I remember. I slipped it in your pocket while you were giving me a lap dance.” he chuckles and I wish I had the shame to be mortified, but I know I give a damn good lap dance.

“It’s kinda my specialty, you know.”

“I knew you were fun, so how’s about we hang out today? Show me around town or somethin’.”

Shit, shit, shit. Is he askin’ me out on a date?

“Jesus, you’re demanding,” I joke. “how you know I ain’t got plans or somethin’?”

“I figured you’d be trying to remember what happened last night instead. So how ‘bout it?” It’s somethin’ real playful in that tone and I gotta roll my eyes up into my skull and clench my fist to keep from embarrassing myself a lil' bit.

“Yeah, sure. What time?” I rasp.

“Around three-thirty maybe? You probably still need time to shower.”

I snort, “Smartass. Okay, three-thirty it is.”

“See you then, Sunshine.” he hangs up. Oh fuck, did I just get asked on a date? By Sasuke? I should punch myself in the nuts ‘cause I gotta be dreaming. I set the phone outta the way and haul ass to the bathroom, not even bothering to grab a towel.

Fuck, I’m actually hanging out with _Sasuke_ today. And I just realized that I smell like booze, cigarettes, and rotten eggs. Jesus.

When I walk out my front door after waving to my mama, Sasuke’s already sitting in my favorite lawn chair with a square between his lips. He gives me a once over, and I gotta stop a shiver as he nods in approval of my jean cutoffs and Pink Floyd shirt from their ‘75 tour.

“Ready to go, Sunshine?” He asks, standing up and brushing any stray ashes from his jeans with his still lit cigarette between his thumb and forefinger. There he goes again with this nickname shit, I might just change my name to Sunshine. I nod my head, still kinda starstruck that this is all happening. I swear, I might just have to kiss Gaara for this.

“Where to, Pretty Boy?” I ask, two can play this game. Sorry Itachi.

* * *

 

 

The first place we end up walking past is the Yamanaka Flower Shoppe, with two p’s and an e. Ino spots us and drags her cousin Deidara, who was only supposed to visit the one summer but ended up living in the Yamanaka’s attic, outside to get a better look at Sasuke.

“Hey Naru, who’s the babe?” She asks, leaning on her broom. Her apron is half tied around her waist and her hair is in a bun and teased to high heaven almost on the top of her head.

I look at Sasuke as he steps forward with half lidded eyes and drawls, “Sasuke Uchiha, I’m new here.”

A look of recognition crosses both hers and Deidara’s faces. Deidara whistles.

“He one of y’alls new neighbors, Naru? Shika said he was real damn pretty, but this takes the cake, yeah.”

I roll my eyes, “Shika don’t know shit about shit, Dei. A better question is how come y’all weren’t at the party last night?”

Ino snorts, “We _were_ there, dipshit. You was just too blitzed to realize that it was _us_ shoving dollar bills in ya front pocket.”

“Well thanks for the weed money sweets, I well and truly appreciate it.” I sigh, “I gotta finish showing Pretty Boy here around town, Y’all should get back before Miss Fumiko have y’all heads.” Ino and Deidara share a shared look of sheer terror and wave as they book it back inside, I don’t blame ‘em, Ino’s mama is _terrifying_ when it comes to her flower shop.

“Your friends are pretty funny,” Sasuke comments, pullin’ a cigarette from behind his ear and clutching it between those same two fingers.

“Nah, Ino and Dei are just horny and dig anything that looks like sex on two legs.” I reply. He gives me that same look he gave Ino, with the half lidded eyes and I feel my knees start to quake.

“So, they like you too then.” Wait, _wait_ . Like me _too_? Does that mean? But, I ain’t time to dwell on this line of thought ‘cause Sasuke’s heading down the street without me.

“Wait up!”

He laughs, “Ya snooze ya lose, Sunshine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, guess who got their wisdom teeth out? and here i am, with a new chapter instead of relaxing and sleeping the pain off. the things i do for love man.


	6. july 5, 1987

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> naru's got it bad.

_July 5, 1987._

_He. Likes. Me._

_Oh my god I feel like a thirteen year old girl detailing her first crush or somethin’ in her diary. But holy shit? I’ve never liked anybody like this before; not Hinata, not Kiba, not Pinky, not even Shika, and all of them are fine as hell._

_Hinata’s just too sweet and soft, but she don’t take no shit. And while I love that, it’s just ain’t right. She deserves the world and I can’t possibly give it to her._

_Kiba always kinda smells like puppy, which is fine but he’s better as a friend than as a boyfriend, Kankuro pretty much got that on lock. If they official now l can probably say goodbye to my most convenient fuckbuddy. Well, there’s always Gaara I guess, if he’s cool with that._

_Pinky’s a lesbian and it was through me that she finally realized it. I’m her beard/alibi whenever she needs one so she can go fuck around with Ino. I don’t understand them girls._

_And fuckin’ Shikamaru….for a dude who’s practically lived on my couch a good 75% of his life he ain’t inherit much of the happiness in this house. He always lowkey miserable, like he’s just too damn smart, and all "everything is pointless, might as well do what I want." That’s not wrong, but he’s just so damn sad all the time. It ain’t noticeable to nobody else but me and Chouji though. And he’s super fuckin’ annoyin’ when he has crushes, like this one on Temari. I hope she either fucks him or punches him in the face soon ‘cause I can’t do it anymore._

 

* * *

 

 

I learned a lotta shit about Sasuke yesterday, he loves tomatoes and he orders his BLT with extra. His eyes are super dark grey, not that dark-ass brown like Itachi’s. He’s snarky as fuck, smokes Marlboro Reds, and is just slightly less blind than his brother. He ain’t let me see his regular ones, but his shades are prescription too.

It’s worse than I thought. I think I’m in love, like _stick-a-fork-in-my-ass-I’m-done_ love. I say that about _all_ of my crushes but, this feels...I don’t know, different somehow. He actually gives me those stupid ass butterflies in my guts and I don’t know whether I need to puke or fart when we talk.

Ma always says one of the first signs of love is the overwhelmin’ need to either puke or shit. When you lustin’ over somebody, ya kinda just get that warm feelin’ in your belly. I got a healthy combo of both right now and lemme say, this is _God fuckin’ awful._

“So, I hear ya turned into Tiffany and got you a new boyfriend,” Mama whispers as she stands in my doorway, leaning up against the doorjamb. Hoo boy. I huff and roll over, now she know good and damn well she can’t whisper.

“I did no such thing, Nami's lyin’.” I counter, she just holds up a can of Glade in response. Dammit.

“Boy hush, ya funky ass betrayed you. Stinkin’ up my damn bathroom like that and ya wasn’t even drunk.” she barks a laugh and moves to flop in my beanbag chair, “So what’s up, son? You used up a whole roll of toilet paper this mornin’.” I groan, well if there’s anyone who’ll listen to my bullshit, it’s definitely Ma.

“Mommyyyy, I think I’m in love.” I whine.

“Again? Child I swear you fall in love more than ya daddy change his drawers.”

“I’m just like you mommy, can’t help it.”

“Well, ya got it honest so tell me about ‘im.” She gets this goofy look on her face and I just launch into this long ass tirade about how goddamn beautiful Sasuke is, how he basically got me by the nostrils, his smiles, his laugh, how he makes me wanna keep him smilin’ and laughin’. Ma just looks at me and busts out _laughin’_.

“Well damn, mommy, just step all over my self-esteem.”

She’s laughin’ so damn hard she turns red, “Whooooo, I’m sorry baby. This is just too damn good.” Eventually she manages to calm down and get her giggles under control. “Sounds like you’re in real deep, smells like it too.”

“What do I _do_?”

She shrugs, “Baby that’s up to you, but here’s what I’d do: I’d call him up and see if he wanted to go see Spaceballs sometime.” She stands up, givin’ me a wink before slammin’ my door behind her.

Dammit, she’s right. And there goes my stomach again, shit.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hello?”

“Hi.”

“Oh, Sunshine. What’s up?”

“Do you actually remember what my name is, or are ya just gonna call me Sunshine forever?”

Sasuke huffs a laugh, “I like callin’ you Sunshine. You’re all bright and stuff.”

I twirl the telephone cord with my finger, “Stuff?”

“Dad’s home.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. So, what’s up?”

I keep twirling the cord around my fingers. My belly’s achin’ again. Shit, shit, shit.

“Do you,” I pause, why the fuck am I so nervous, “do you wanna go see Spaceballs?”

“With you? Yeah I do,” oh my god that rhymed why is he so fuckin’ _smooth,_  "when’s good for you?”

“Uh, is tomorrow okay? Or whenever you wanna go, really.”

“I gotta be somewhere tomorrow, but I’m good the rest of the week.”

“Okay, uh, call me and let me know?”

He laughs, “Sunshine, I don’t have your number.” _Why is he like this? What the fuck is happenin’? He’s fifteen, like no fifteen year old is this damn good and here we go_ again _with my bullshit guts_ \-- “I could just get it from ‘Tachi whenever he comes home though, I know he has it.”

“Nah I can give it. I’m sure Nami got him plenty occupied.” I rattle the digits off, “just call me when you wanna go, okay?”

“Alright, talk to you later?”

“Yeah.”

“See ya, Sunshine.” I hang up, ain’t even _bother_ sayin’ bye, and immediately run to the bathroom. Dammit.

“Clean the damn toilet when ya done this time, son!” Mama screams.

Jesus Christ on a unicycle, I really do got it bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm recovering well y'all!  
> spaceballs? such a good movie.  
> (the fact that this has a little over 300 hits is amazing to me. thank y'all so very, very much.)  
> [also, if you like what i do, consider buying me a coffee?](http://ko-fi.com/jztstmpde)


	7. july 8, 1987

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for a brief mention of child abuse at the beginning. so if that bothers you at all, you can skip the journal entry entirely.

_July 8, 1987_

_Shika came back last night with a black eye, a bloody nose, and a duffel bag. He won’t talk about it but I think Miss Yoshino knocked his damn lights out again. This might as well be his home anyway, old man Shikaku been lettin’ him hide out here since we were kindergartners. I know Mama ain’t too fond of Miss Yoshino, bein’ a social worker and all that. But Shika keeps defendin’ her, sayin’ he can handle it, so Mama and Papa just gave him a key to use when he needs it. My family’s so acceptin’ and lovin’ that I forget that some of us live in shitty situations._

_Nami wants to beat Miss Yoshino’s ass bad. Like it took me, Papa, and Kakashi to keep her from runnin’ down the street to fuck her up. Shit, I wanted to, too._

 

* * *

 

“Naru, go take this to Shika outside.” Nami tosses me an ice cold bag of peas from the freezer and goes back to cookin’ breakfast, her hand gripping the spatula so tight I see her nail beds turn color. I nod even though she ain’t lookin’ at me no more and head out the front door. Shika’s laid out on the porch swing, ice pack draped across his busted, bruised up face and a cigarette dangling in his limp right hand. He’s propped up on a pillow, hair down, and he’s starin’ at me with his less bruised eye. The whole situation looks like it really fuckin’ hurts. I didn't know Miss Yoshino could do that kinda damage, much less to her own son. I just hand him the peas and cop a squat in the chair next to him.

“Thanks.” he says as he peels the ice pack off his face and replaces it with the bag of peas.

I wave him off, “Yeah. You ready to talk about it yet?”

He huffs and lifts his hand to take a drag off his square, “Ya boyfriend’s dad caught me and Kiba drinkin’ a couple beers over at Castle Bumblefuck and chased us down through the back alley behind Akimichi Barbecue. Kiba managed to hop the fence in time, but he caught me by my fuckin’ shirt and pulled me back. Soon as my mama _saw_ them lights, she was outside screamin’ and got me with a two piece and a biscuit.”

I whistle, “Extra gravy?”

“ _Extra_ gravy, bro. My ol’ man got me off pretty easy and struck a deal, but I can't be caught out after curfew for the rest of the summer. Otherwise they’ll bust me for underage drinkin and smokin’ pot.” 

“When’s curfew?”

“Nine-thirty on weekdays, ten on the weekends.” He flicks the butt of his cigarette between the beams of the banister and into the bushes.

“That blows,” I mumble, reachin’ into my own pocket for my own pack of Newports, only to come back empty handed. Shika holds out his own pack of Luckies and I gladly take one and light up.

“I know, can’t go home for a while.”

“Why even go back after all that?”

Shika sighs, “Cause my mama is jealous of y’all. She don’t want Mama Kushina stealin’ me away.” He gets up off the swing and walks in the house. I stay in the chair and finish the rest of my square. Miss Mikoto waves at me from across the street and that’s when I realize somethin’.

I ain’t correct him when he called Sasuke my boyfriend.

 

* * *

 

 

Hanging out with Nami is always a rockin’ good time, especially when we’re speedin’ down the old backroads in her midnight black, ‘69 GTO Judge, screamin’ the lyrics to Love Is a Battlefield at the top of our lungs. I got my feet up on the dash and the seat leaned back, Nami’s tossing her half-frizzed out, blood-red, ponytailed press and curl all over the place, foot smashed down on the gas, I don’t know exactly where we’re goin’ and that’s just fuckin’ fine with me.

She turns the radio down as they go to commercial break, “Been a while since we did this, yeah? What's new in your galaxy, baby brother?”

“Nothin’ you don’t already know or told Ma about,” I answer easily, stickin’ my foot out the window and wiggling my toes in the mirror. I might not exactly tell my parents _everything_ , but my siblings are fair game, even Kakashi. We won’t rat me out for anything big unless it's a matter of life or death, but we’ll narc on each other for the dumbest shit.

“What? Sasuke?” she drawls, all innocent and whatnot, “Mama could smell that comin’ from a mile away, papa too.”

“They ain't need to know that I'm a slutty drunk.”

“Naru, the whole damn _town_ knows about Loose Booty Tiffany. It ain't a secret, and I think the slutty drunk thing is genetic anyway; look at Ma and Pop.” We both shudder, thinkin’ of the last time we caught our parents makin’ the beast with two backs. We both reach for our packs of cigarettes at the same time, only to come back empty handed. Nami curses, “I _knew_ we left the house for somethin’. Ah well, I'll get em on the way back.” I grumble my agreement.

“So, what’s new in your galaxy, big sister? Sink ya teeth into Itachi yet?”

“You sound real mad over there. No, I have not. At least not completely anyway.”

That makes me sit up, “What’cha mean not yet?”

She snorts at me, “Have some faith lil’ bro, these things take time.”

“You likeeeeeee him.” I tease.

“He actually wants to take me on a _date_ , I’ve never been on a date in my goddamn life.”

“I still don’t understand that, you’re a complete babe.”

“Tell me about it. I dunno what to do.”

“...Go on the date?”

“That’s real fuckin’ funny comin’ from _you_.”

“You dig him, he digs you, he wanna treat you right and take you out on a date. Don’t be like me, Nami. Don’t just sleep with your useless ass friends, broaden your horizons.” I say solemnly. She turns and looks at me, then cracks the fuck up laughing.

“I should be tellin’ you that! Hey, ain’t you supposed to be takin’ Sasuke to the movies this week?”

“Somethin’ like that, yeah. He’s supposed to call me whenever he’s down to go.”

“He call you in the last couple days?”

“Not since I gave him our number.” I sigh.

She slows the car down to a stop on an old, dusty stretch of country road and turns to look at me, “How ‘bout this, if you call Sasuke today and take him out to the movies, I’ll go out with Itachi tonight.”

I tap my chin like I’m really thinkin’ hard about it when really, I made up my mind before she finished her proposition.

“I’ll do it, under one condition only.”

“What?”

“I get to borrow your car to take Sasuke to the movies in.”

She pokes her lips out at me and looks at me like I done lost my rabid-ass mind, “You little shithead, put gas in her before you come home and it’s a deal.” We shake on it before she turns the car around with a hard cut of the wheel and peels out, nearly chokin’ me to death with all the dirt and gravel it kicks up.

 

* * *

 

“Hello?” a familiar voice answers. I let out a sigh of relief.

“Hey Itachi, is Sasuke there?”

“Oh hi, Naruto. Hang on a sec.” and wow, I didn’t know Itachi could holler like that, I thought he just sounded like a sexy Darth Vader all the time _and this is not a train of thought I’m willing to entertain right now_ \--

“Hey, Sunshine.” Oh dammit, here we go.

“Hey yourself, you didn’t call me back about the movies.”

“Not on purpose,” he groans. _Shit, shit shit._ “been a lil’ bit busy ‘round here.”

I swallow, “Gotcha. Wanna go tonight then if you’re free?”

“Yeah. What time?”

“Six-thirty sound good to you? We can hang afterward but I gotta put gas in the car when we’re done.”

He hums, “You can drive?”

I smile, “Oh _now_ you’re interested. Yeah, I got my license last year for my birthday.”

“And you have a _license_?” He gasps, “Be still my beatin’ heart. Wait, how old are you?”

“I never told you? I’m sixteen, turnin’ seventeen in a couple months. Late birthday.”

“I gotcha,” I hear a door slam in the background, “can I call you back later? I promise to do it this time.”

“Why don’t you just come over?” I blurt, oh _fuck_. “You live right across the street anyway.”

“I could tell you the same thing, but okay, I’ll come over later.”

“Alright, I’ll let you go now.”

“See you later, Sunshine.”

_What the hell did I just do?_

 

* * *

 

Six-thirty can’t roll around fast enough; between Shika roamin’ around the house like a moody chick on her period eating all the damn popsicles in the freezer, Nami tryin’ to find the perfect pair of shoes, and Kakashi hogging the couch with Bull on his lap, Kurama decided to show back up with a bag for the weekend. I’m tired. I’m done.

“Nami, what’s for dinner?” Kurama yells, droppin’ his bag in the middle of the floor, I try to get around him and get upstairs to at least wash up and change my shirt (because I ain’t bother puttin’ one on this mornin’), but the asshole catches me around the neck and gives me a noogie.

“Ask Ma, she’s cookin’ tonight! I got a date!” Nami hollers from upstairs. He lifts an eyebrow and turns his attention back to me.

“Baby bro! Where ya goin’ in such a hurry?” he grunts, teeth clenched around a cigarette. I try to fight him off as best I can but his grip is like fuckin’ _iron_.

“As far away from you as I can get. Genma ain’t answer his door, did he?” I choke, still trying to pull my head out from under his arm. He lets me go and snorts.

“Oh fuck you, I can’t come home and see my family?”

“Fuck no.” Kakashi chimes in from the couch. Bull barks in agreement.

“Well, I feel loved.”

“We always miss you, ya big goof. Now give your Mama a kiss.” Ma interjects, pulling Kurama into a hug and tuggin’ his head down to pepper him in kisses. “Naru, go upstairs and wash up, you ain’t gotta whole lotta time before ya boyfriend gets here, ya smell like feet and deodorant.” I roll my eyes as my two older brothers bust out laughin’ at me and book it upstairs. As I run past Nami’s room I peek in and see her standing over a big ass pile of shoes and stop.

“Wear the fuckin’ Keds and call it a day.”

“Thanks Naru.”

I don’t even bother respondin’ and hit a baseball slide into the bathroom. Safe.

By the time I finish showering and failin’ to kick Shika outta my room so I can get dressed it’s almost six-thirty. That’s what I get for singin’ and scrubbin’ til I shined like new money.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I grab a Day-glo orange shirt, a pair of jeans, and the best lookin’ pair of underwear I can find outta my dresser and hurry to get dressed. I glance at the clock, six o’five. Dammit.

“Jesus, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get ready so fast in my life.” Shika drawls from my bed. His face is still hellishly ugly and I still can’t tell if he can see me out that eye even though it’s less swollen now.

“I’m actually tryin’ for once.”

“You must really dig him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you try before.”

“I tried with Hinata,” I argue.

“Naru, we were fourteen, it was eighth grade. No you didn’t.”

“I--” dammit, I hate when he’s right. I ain’t got time for this.

I head downstairs and immediately wanna puke. Both Itachi and Sasuke are here, lookin like they’re having the time of their lives with my family. Not that I’m ashamed of my folks or nothin’, it’s just…

Sasuke’s here. In my house. Sitting in the recliner chair. Smilin’ and laughin’ and shit with my family. Scratching Bull underneath his chin.

 _I’m_ _so fuckin’ boned._ _So very, very boned._

 

* * *

 

Nami tosses me her keys as she walks across the street to Itachi’s Honda Civic. He even opens the door for her and I swear I can see her blush, and then they’re gone and I’m alone with the boy of my fuckin’ dreams. I kinda wanna cry.

“He really likes Nami, you know.” Sasuke breaks the silence and starts walking down the porch steps, I follow after him, clutchin’ Nami’s keys in my fist.

“She’s the fuckin’ best.” I mumble, kinda comforted by the fact. My sister deserves someone that likes her for who she is and not as a fuckin’ joke or bet.

“I bet, so which car is hers?” I point to the GTO parked a few cars down.

He whistles, “A ‘69 Judge? Awesome.”

“You like cars?”

“‘Tachi’s a mechanic, loves to mess with engines and shit.” I nod and hop in the car, he gets in and looks around in amazement. I start her up and shift into gear, “Be careful speedin’ though, my dad’s out patrollin’ tonight and I heard about what he did to your friend.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. I’m a good driver, I swear.” I laugh before I pull away from the curb.

I’m actually on a fuckin’ _date._ I can’t believe this shit. This is shapin’ up to be one of the best summers ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hooooboy, a lotta things happened. too many things happened.  
> (thank all of y'all for reading, leaving kudos, and commenting. it makes my day!)


	8. july 9, 1987

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's one, singular homophobic slur in this chapter, so be careful.

_July 9, 1987_

_Spaceballs was fuckin’ awesome. Sasuke is awesome. Everything is fuckin’ awesome. Except the status of Shikamaru’s face, that’s still god awful. He couldn’t stay out long enough for some late night joyridin’ though. But when I drove us home for the night and said my good nights like a gentleman and shit, he fuckin’ kissed me. Not even on the cheek, but right smack dab on my lips._

_I swear to god my goddamn heart stopped. Also I’m sure Nami and Itachi saw us from my porch but they were too busy being all domestic and swapping cute lil’ kisses on the porch swing. I ain’t know Itachi’s hair was that damn long, or that it was actually a mohawk. I mean I did, but it’s different when you see it outta the ponytail._

_Anyway, I would’ve kissed him back, but once he pulled away he looked at his watch, took one look at the driveway, got outta the car and booked it into his house. He did blow a kiss at me though. Fuckin’ cheeseball._

( _I love cheese.)_

* * *

 

I'm in love this time. I know it. I don't care that I ain't exactly sure what that means but, this is it, whatever the hell it is.

This is different from how I feel about Gaara or Kiba or anyone else _but,_ I know I love Gaara different from anyone else. And what I’m feeling right now is different from how I feel about Gaara, it’s way different from Kiba, and it’s different from how I love my family. So it's gotta be love, right? But not that kinda love them Bible thumpers love to shove down your throat, where marriage and love is somethin’ only straight people can have. Accordin’ to them, all I can have is HIV and a one way ticket to hell.

Bet Lucifer’s awesome, though.

Back to more important things, I love Sasuke. I love Mama for tellin’ me to go see Spaceballs. I love Nami for lettin’ me borrow her car. I love life.

* * *

Sasuke and Itachi are in my living room again. Itachi’s talkin’ engines with Shika and Sasuke’s chattin’ it up with Kurama. I’m surprised he’s still here in the first place, I guess Genma ain’t in a forgiving mood; or he’s back to sleepin’ with Raidou, there’s no tellin’ with that guy. Kurama always _did_ have a thing for weirdos.

“Good mornin’ Sunshine.” Sasuke greets, givin’ me a look. I scratch my belly and wave back at him. I’m not fully conscious yet, sue me.

“ _Sunshine?_ ” Kurama drawls.

I ain’t got the brain power to deal with this shit, “Piss off, Kookaburra.”

I swear to _god_ I ain’t know he could move that damn fast; he’s up and over the couch by the time my senses kick in and tell me to get the hell outta dodge.

“Get back here you little fucker!” he screams.

I’m tearin’ ass through the kitchen, throwing the chair we keep in there in front of him to buy time, “Not on your fuckin’ life, Pookie!”

I slam right into the backdoor, but still manage to get it open and get my ass out before he can catch me. Oh shit, here he comes; think Naru, think.

Damn, I hope Gai and Lee won’t be mad at me for landin’ in their tomatoes again. I hop the fence and haul my ass into a full sprint towards Gai’s backdoor and start screamin’.

“Lee! Open the door man! Open the door!” I look back into my own yard, see Sasuke and Itachi standin’ in the doorway with complete and utter amusement on their faces and Kurama climbin’ over the top the fence. My fuckin’ blood runs cold. I don’t want another fuckin’ noogie. The door opens and I push Lee’s confused ass out the way, slam it, and lock it in Kurama’s face. Oh fuck. Thank you god.

“Naru? What’s goin’ on?” Lee questions, one thick ass eyebrow lifted on his forehead.

“A lil’ Uzumaki family bondin’ that’s all.” I look down at my heavin’ chest, “You wouldn’t happen to have a shirt, some pants, and a spare washcloth, wouldja?”

I forgot, I don’t wear shirts to sleep in the summer; don’t wear _pants_ , either. My potential boyfriend and his brother just practically saw me naked, and I don’t even have the shame to be fuckin’ embarrassed.

Like hell I’m gonna let ‘em see me filthy though.

Kakashi comes to tell me that the coast is clear about a good twenty minutes later, says Kurama went to see Papa at the office or somethin’. He could be lyin’, but I can never tell with that damn examination mask he always wears anyway so, I thank Lee for the clothes, apologize for killin’ his tomatoes again, and haul ass outta there just in case. I gotta cut back on the squares, man. I’m fuckin’ tired and it’s barely one-thirty in the afternoon.

* * *

 

“So you ain’t realize that you had no clothes on?” Sasuke asks, holdin’ back a snort of laughter. I groan and flop down on the couch. Somehow we ended up at his house and it don’t look nothin’ like it did when Granny Mito was hauntin’ it. They got area rugs and shit, no plastic on the furniture, not a damn cactus or Kewpie doll in sight. Plus, it doesn’t smell like old lady farts anymore.

Miss Mikoto pops her head out from the kitchen, “Naruto, you want a snack?.”

I nod, “Yes please, Miss Mikoto.” Sasuke smirks at me, rubbin’ his thumb across the back of my hand. I never expected him to be so touchy, or so damn nice either. He ain’t nothin’ like that spitfire boy I saw like two weeks ago. Has it only really been two weeks? It feels like fuckin’ forever ago. Hell, I feel like I’ve known him all my life or somethin’.

“You’re so polite,” he teases. I puff my chest out a little.

“Well, my folks did raise me to be polite and mannerable--” there’s the sound of a key in the door and Sasuke’s eyes go wide before letting my hand go and practically throwin’ himself a foot away from me. Before I can ask him what’s wrong, I see it.

Mr. Uchiha is one intimidatin’ motherfucker in that uniform. I’d be scared, if I gave a shit about cops. Sasuke looks a pissed off with a hint of fear underneath it. He spots me and stares for a long second. Fuck what I just said, I might be a lil’ scared too.

“Sasuke, who’s this?” he rumbles. Sasuke swallows and scowls.

“Father, this is Naruto; Naruto, this is my father.” he mumbles, eyes defiant. Jesus, it’s so thick in here you couldn’t cut it with a fuckin’ chainsaw.

I clear my throat, “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Uchiha. I’m Naruto Uzumaki, I stay across the str--”

“The mayor’s youngest boy, I know.” he cuts me off and eyes me with a hint of disgust. Wow, fuck this pig. My parents are extremely goddamn proud of me, fuck you very much. Luckily Miss Mikoto pops her head outta the kitchen and Douchebag changes his tune entirely.

“Fugaku, I didn’t know you were coming home early today.” she remarks, eyes sharp on her husband like she’s tearin’ him up silently for bein’ so fuckin’ rude to me. He deserves every bit of it too, asshole.

“I wasn’t. Just came to check in. Where’s Itachi?”

“Across the street at the Uzumakis’.”

“With the fat girl again?” I move to get off the couch, how motherfuckin’ _dare_ he? Who the fuck does he think he is insultin’ my goddamn sister like that to my fuckin’ face? But Sasuke grabs my wrist and stops me, barely shaking his head. I lean back into the couch, still fuckin’ steamin’, and Sasuke doesn’t let go.

“That’s enough. Aranami is a perfectly lovely young woman and your son really likes her, have some goddamn respect.” Miss Mikoto comes outta the kitchen completely, a sharp ass knife in her hand, eyes cold as ice. I shiver a lil’ bit just lookin’ at her. Asshole grumbles and turns on his heel, ready to exit the door but before he leaves, he spots Sasuke’s fingers around my wrist.

“Fuckin’ faggots.” I hear him whisper, so quiet I can barely hear him,  and apparently Miss Mikoto does too ‘cause she lets that fuckin’ knife _fly._ It embeds itself into the molding around the doorway as he shuts it.

“Motherfucker,” she mutters, moving to grab her knife, turning to us with a smile on her face, her shirt falling off her shoulder enough that I see the faded ink of the rose tattooed right under her collarbone. “Still want that snack, Naruto dear?”

I nod my head, “Yes please.”

I can see why they started comin’ over to my house. This is fuckin’ _wild._

* * *

Sasuke’s kisses are like rattlesnake bites: hard, quick, and with purpose. He pushes me onto his bed and climbs on top of me, lookin’ like the embodiment of a pissed off pit viper and I’m his next meal. So I do what any teenager would do when presented with this situation, I bite back. We gnaw on each other for awhile and I end up findin’ out that Sasuke’s ticklish and get a bite to my collarbone for it.

I grip the back of his head and tug on his hair--it’s as soft as it looks--to get his attention. I pull hard enough to get him off my face completely and his eyes are like liquid wildfire when he looks at me.

“What.” he groans out, fingers digging into my shoulders.

I literally gotta stop my hips from shiftin’ ‘cause god knows I like all of this shit, “Hold on a sec.” He rolls off of me and sits up, reaching for the pack of Marlboros on the nightstand. I watch as he pulls his lighter outta his pocket and lights up. I gulp and try to get my words right. “So, before I let you finish chewin’ me up, are we datin’?”

He flops back onto his back and blows a perfect smoke ring, goddamn showoff. “That what you want?”  

“That what _you_ want?” I fire back, gettin’ antsy. He’s way too fuckin’ cool about this.

He chuckles, “Sunshine, you and your family are the best thing that's happened to me in this bullshit town this summer. What’d you think?”

Oh. Oh shit. Did I just get myself a boyfriend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooh.  
> (again, thank y'all for the kudos, bookmarks, and comments! i love and appreciate you guys!)


	9. july 11, 1987

_July 11, 1987_

_I got a motherfuckin’ boyfriend. It still ain't sunk in yet and I'm annoyin’ the dog shit outta everyone about it. But I haven't talked to him since the other day. I got the feelin’ I wasn't supposed to see what I saw._

_Kurama finally crashed. I felt it comin’; he always gets real clingy and energetic right before the drop, and now he won't get outta bed. Genma came by and he’s camping out in there so we’ve just been checkin’ in on ‘em and makin’ sure everything’s alright. I hate that he goes through constant highs and lows, but the government don't care and the shrink don't give him the right medicine. He knows how and when to come home. It's enough. We're enough._

_At least I get to see him longer than a couple days for now. That’s a silver lining right? Guess not._

 

* * *

 

I don’t feel gettin’ outta bed today. The air in here feels like fuckin’ molasses, and my floor is covered in dumbasses. If there’s anything my friends are good for, it’s emotional support, and by that I mean chillin’ out on my floor and watchin’ Pretty in Pink on my TV. Chouji’s laid out on his stomach, Kiba’s half layin’ on Chouji’s back, and Shika’s doin’ a pretty good impersonation of a goddamn octopus in my beanbag chair.

“You know,” Kiba yawns, eyes glued to the screen, “this doesn’t help our reputations as the town’s favorite queers very much.”

“Speak for yourself, man. You’re the one who always ends up getting caught.” Chouji grumbles, “The rest of us have the good sense to not fuck outside in broad daylight.”

“That was once, and it was Naru’s idea.”

“Oi,” I chime in, tryin’ to defend my good name, “you know better to listen to me when I’m that high. And we didn’t even get caught, they didn’t come close enough to figure out what we were doin’.”

“Too close for fuckin’ comfort.” Shika grunts. His face is lookin’ better, the bruising around his eyes is finally startin’ to fade. Kiba and Chouji nod in agreement

“You ain’t got no room to talk, Shika. You got caught in your mom’s car with Ino.” I retort.

“Better than bein’ caught outside with my ass all exposed to the elements.”

“Shut the hell up, she’s about to start makin’ her prom dress!” Chouji hisses.

 

* * *

 

 

I finally get outta bed and lay eyes on Kurama around two or three in the afternoon. He has his face buried in Genma’s neck like he can’t stand to face the world as they walk into the living room. Genma sits him on the couch next to me and I immediately slide underneath his arm and lie on his stomach. He fuckin’ smells like sweat and sadness.

“Hey, Naru.” he mumbles, his hands finding their way into my ‘fro. He likes to play in people’s hair when he gets like this, says it keeps him here. I don’t know exactly what that means, but I get it. “What’s goin’ on in your galaxy?” God, he just sounds so defeated, so damn _tired._

“The usual.” I mumble. He scratches my scalp lightly and I nuzzle into his belly. “Still windy in yours?”

He hums,  “Real windy, gotta couple storms too. Everything looks like an outta sight cosmic soup.” I nod, letting my eyes close and focusing on Kurama’s hands. I can hear the phone ring somewhere in the house, but it ain’t worth moving for.

“Naru!” Papa hollers, “Phone!” I don’t get up to get it, and I don’t want to. Papa comes into the room with the base of the phone tucked under one arm, and the receiver pressed to his ear with his thumb over the mouthpiece. “It’s Sasuke.”

I still don’t move, so Papa rolls his eyes at me, smacks the phone down on my ear, and tosses the base by my feet. “Hello?”

“Hey Sunshine.” Oh. Shit, he sounds fucked up too. I poke Kurama’s arm to get him to stop rubbin’ my scalp.

“Hey. What’s up? Everything okay?” I ask.

“Yeah. Why?”

“You sound different.”

“Huh. Do I?”

“You sick or somethin’?”

He sighs, “No, but is it okay if me and ‘Tachi come over for a while?”

I look at Kurama and he nods back, already knowin’ what I was gonna ask.

“Can't guarantee it’ll be much fun, but yeah. Come on over.”

This isn't how I expected my day to end up goin’: sandwiched between my sleeping brother and my boyfriend on the living room couch with his brother knocked out and practically fallin’ outta the La-Z-Boy, and my friends upstairs in varying states of consciousness upstairs on my bedroom floor watching Brat Pack flicks. It's all real domestic and shit. The way Sasuke just holds onto my wrist is enough to make me all stupid in the head.

“What’s goin’ on in your galaxy?” I mumble.

He looks up at me with an eyebrow raised high on his forehead, “Huh? What does that even mean?”

I huff, “It’s somethin’ my family says. Like, it means somethin’ along the lines of what’s goin’ on in your life.”

“That’s cool.”

“My folks really like space and anything to do with it,” I point to the giant star map above our fireplace, “they just really like the cosmos and shit.”

“Awesome, look about the other day,” he trails off and sighs. My heart lurches in my chest, I figured I probably wasn’t supposed to see that.

“What about it? Your mom’s a complete and total badass and ya dad’s a fuckin’ douche. It happens.” I shrug, I’ve seen enough shit with the kids Mama works and my own dumbass friends.

“...You okay with that?”

“Fuck no, ya dad’s an asshole, but it looks like Miss Mikoto got it covered. I don’t like it, but it looks like y’all got a good handle on it”

“You’re somethin’ else. You know that, Sunshine?”

I laugh, “Yeah, been told that a few times.”

 

* * *

 

It’s a lil’ fuckin’ scary how Sasuke fits right in with my friends. It’s even scarier how much my friends like him back. I figure it’s gotta have somethin’ to do with Itachi goin’ on a smoke run for us, no questions asked besides what our poisons were.

“Naru, ya boyfriend’s pretty cool, you shoulda introduced us to him earlier instead of keepin’ him all to yourself.” Kiba drawls.

“Introduce him to y’all degenerates? Nah.” I joke.

“We’re all degenerates here, Naru.” Sasuke comments serenely.

“Speak for yourself man, I’m an upstandin’ citizen.” Chouji chimes in.

“Did you or did you not have to run from Karui’s dad for three miles ‘cause he caught y’all on his living room couch like a month ago? Butt ass naked no less?” Shikamaru snorts in his sleep, well, clearly he ain’t asleep.

“I had my boxers on and it was four miles. Her dad was a track star in college. Get ya facts straight.”

“I stand corrected. So you had ya drawers on, you still got chased by a pissed off former army ranger track star. Therefore your counterargument is null and void.”

At this point Me, Kiba, and Sasuke are absolutely screeching. Shika still has his eyes closed, and I’m pretty sure Chouji woulda flipped him off my bed if Kurama wasn’t downstairs conked out on the couch. I doubt it would’ve woken him up if he did, but we try to be courteous around here and only cause mayhem when everyone is conscious. Kiba reaches into his pocket and pulls out a plastic baggie with a smaller brown paper sack inside.

“Hey, is Genma still here?” He asks. I shake my head.

“I think he went home to get a shower and spare change of clothes or somethin’, he said he’d be back though.”

“Wanna go hang out at Castle Bumblefuck and smoke?”

Shika opens his eyes at that, shoots straight up, too, “Did we _not_ just get chased by the fuckin’ police?” Sasuke winces at that. “Does my face not _still_ look like fuckin’ half spoiled hamburger meat? Did this shit happen not even four damn days ago? Are you fuckin’ _stupid_?”

Kiba nods, “Yeah, I really am.”

“Jesus Christ on a rubber raft, man.”

“My dad’s patrolling today, if he sees you, he will fuck with you.” Sasuke mentions. Kiba tucks the baggie back in his pocket.

“Well there goes _that_ plan. So what do we do?”

“Hang out in the fuckin’ air conditioned house and watch Star Wars.”

 

* * *

 

“Naru, wake up. Boys, y’all too, it’s time for dinner.” Mama yells. I feel Sasuke jump about a foot in the air from where I got my arm draped across his stomach. I groan, rubbing my face into the pillow and there’s various noises of agreement from the other dummies in the room. She walks in and steps on my ass, like on both cheeks and stays there.

“C’mon, up y’all get! I made banana pudding for dessert, you might wanna get down there before Minato and Kurama eat it all.” I swear we all shoot up at the same time, Shika included. Ma’s banana puddin’ is fuckin’ _legendary_ and she only makes it maybe once a month if she remembers.

“Yes ma’am!” we holler. Chouji’s already on his feet, throwing Kiba off his back and bookin’ it outta my room like a bat outta hell. Shika and Kiba are next, Shika rolling off the beanbag and Kiba just rolling like a log toward the door. Ma gets off of my ass and leaves behind them. I roll off my stomach and grab Sasuke’s hand, fully prepared to toss him over my shoulder if I gotta.

“C’mon, we’re gonna miss it! Them fuckers got a head start.” I mumble. He just sits there for a minute and looks at his watch with this sorta disappointed look on his face.

“I can’t. I gotta go home.”

“How come?”

“Dad should be back from patrol by now.”

I scrunch up my face, “You sure you don’t wanna stay?”

“I can?”

“Yeah, if you want. Everyone’s welcome to dinner at good ol’ Casa del Namikaze, especially my boyfriend.” Shit that’s cheesy. Sasuke kinda blushes so, score.

“Is that your last name?”

“Yeah, well, it’s not the one on my birth certificate. I have my mom’s last name. Only Kurama has dad’s for some reason.” Sasuke nods.

“Y’all are different. I dig it.”

“Yeah well, you can stay for dinner but we gotta get there before those fat fucks eat it all. Chouji’s got ‘bout four stomachs.” I snatch him up and bolt into the hallway. “We’ll even make Miss Mikoto a plate.” He smiles at that. Fuck he’s so pretty when he smiles and it makes me damn near fall down the steps.

Sasuke snorts, “Smooth move, Sunshine.”

 

* * *

 

“You sure you gotta go?” I whine. Sasuke laughs, grabbin’ my hand. We’re sittin’ outside on the porch swing, starin’ at his house across the street. His dad’s car is in the driveway.

“I gotta go home eventually, Naru.”

“No ya don’t. You and your brother can just move over here, everyone else does. Hell, bring your mama along too.” He raises his eyebrow.

“Ain’t we a little young for that?”

“Youngest we’re ever gonna be. Live for the moment and all that good shit.”

“I might take you up on it, one day.” I hum, rubbing my thumb over the back of his hand. We sit there for a couple minutes in complete silence before he speaks up.

“Is ya brother okay? I meant to ask earlier.”

I sigh, “Uh, not really. But he’ll be okay again sooner or later.”

“He sick or somethin’?”

“Yeah he’s sick.” I change the subject, “You know, my Granny Mito used to live in y’all’s house before ya moved there.” He nods for me to keep going, “She was certified fuckin’ hag and mean as shit to boot in her older years, and I think she still haunts it.”

“I believe it, the fuckin rafters rattle and the house shakes when there’s no wind.”

“See, she’s telling you to get the hell outta there and come stay with me.”

Sasuke snorts, “Yeah right. Why you want me to live with you so bad?”

“You’re fuckin’ beautiful and I wanna see you all the time.” Ah shit. I brace myself; for what I don’t know, but I ain’t expecting it to be a feather soft kiss against my cheek.

“Huh,” he lets go of my hand, standing up and grabbing his mom’s plate of food. Oh fuck, oh shit, oh fuck. Dammit did I say the wrong thing? “Beautiful?”

“The prettiest thing I ever did see.” Shut the fuck up, Naru!

“Prettier than ‘Tachi?” he bats his eyelashes at me.

I laugh, “Way fuckin’ prettier.” He nods and heads for the porch steps. “See you tomorrow?”

“I’ll be right over there in that haunted ass house. Come get me if you ain’t too chicken shit to do it.” He teases.

“Me? Chicken shit? Not on ya goddamn life!.” He walks down the path and turns around, crossing the street backward just to yell at me.

“We’ll see about that!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no killer, all filler. hi y'all, how you been? eating good? drinking water?  
> sorry for the long wait, i haven't been feeling too good lately. it's been pretty rough.  
> anyway, as always: thank every single one of y'all for the love! kudos and comments make my heart sing!


	10. july 12, 1987

* * *

_July 12, 1987_

_My boyfriend gets the official stamp of approval from my shitty best friends and my parents. Kurama too. I don’t know about Kakashi but he ain’t pulled his surgical mask down to smile at him like an inmate on death row and that’s usually a good sign, so I feel like he should be safe. My brother is fuckin’ weird like that._

_After Sasuke left last night, Kiba told me he’s havin’ a late birthday party tonight. How he managed to sucker Miss Tsume into lettin’ him have it, I don’t know. He works miracles sometimes. It’s probably at his dad’s house. I don’t think I’ve ever met his dad. Hell I’ll probably never meet him, apparently he lives on the nice side of Konoha close to Neji’s. I wonder if he’s gonna invite that weird ass Tamaki girl. Or try it with Karui again. Boy’s got a death wish, just like Shika._

_I wonder if Gaara’s gonna show up. I might have to kiss him if he does. I just hope Sasuke understands why.  He might even kiss him, too._

 

* * *

 

 

“Favorite color?”

“Blue, but like, sky blue. Like your eyes. Yours?”

“Aw. Mine’s orange. Is your hair naturally like that?”

“Nope, it’s curly. I straighten the bangs ‘cause I can’t see the back and hate burnin’ my fingers. Is the blond natural?”

“Naw,  I’m a redhead.  I like the curly part though, you should leave it all curly. It’s pretty like that.”

“Only if you stop bleachin’ yours. Right or left handed?”

“Right, you?”

“Ambidextrous, but I usually write with my left. Favorite musician?”

“Oh that’s hard, uh, shit--Parliament-Funkadelic. Yours?”

“You look like you party on the Mothership. I like Prince, and Motley.”

“I knew it, I had ya pegged from the start.” I laugh, “1999 or Purple Rain?”

“Fuck you. 1999, Purple Rain is amazin’ but nothin’ beats 1999.”

“Mm, any chance ya favorite song is Little Red Corvette?”

“Why?”

“‘Cause it makes me think of ya.”

“Cute. Nah, that’s ‘Tachi’s favorite, Mine’s Lady Cab Driver.”

“Tachi might just be Nami’s soulmate, that’s her favorite, too.”

“You look like a Let’s Go Crazy kinda man. Favorite album?”

“The Wall. Where’d you move here from?”

“Kusa, but we lived in Kiri before that.”

“Kiri, that’s out by the water, ain’t it?”

“Yup, weather’s fuckin’ awful. It’s always rainin’ and it’s always foggy.”

“It’s rough there. Ain’t that where the Seven Swordsmen gang is?”

“Yup. They basically run the whole place.”

“How come y’all ended up here?”

Sasuke sighs, “‘Tachi.”

My jaw drops, Itachi? Soft spoken, coke bottle glasses wearin’, respectful Itachi? “What the hell did he _do_?”

“It ain’t my story to tell, but it’s the same shit that got us the hell up outta Kusa too.”

I nod. “And that’s how y’all ended up in this hellhole.”

“It ain’t all bad,” he stretches and throws his leg over my hip, “I mean, you’re here, ya family’s here, Kiba and them are here. Coulda been worse.”

“Leave any good friends behind?”

“In Kiri, you don’t really have friends, just sorta associates--well there’s this one kid.  You remember a white haired kid from that guy’s--” he snaps his fingers, “what’s his name, Neji?” I nod, “Yeah, okay. From his party. Remember?”

I rack my brain, but come up blank, “I still can’t remember shit from that night.” I snort, “But I only know one kid with white hair, and he ain’t never lived in Kiri.”

“I bet, you were higher than giraffe ass that night. Anyway, I went to school with him in Kiri, his brother was a Swordsman too. Then there was this girl in Kusa, and she had the _stupidest_ goddamn hair.” My eyes pop open, there’s only one girl in Kusa with stupid hair; granted it’s ‘87 and there’s plenty of people everywhere with dumb hair, but I know exactly who he’s talkin’ about.

“Her name ain’t Karin is it?”

“Yeah, you know her?”

“Know her? She’s my cousin.”

“No shit? She had the ugliest crush on me.”

“Family trait, we know perfection when we see it.”

“Jesus, why do I fuckin’ like you? You’re so damn corny.”

“You like it.”

Sasuke sighs, “I do, it’s a fatal flaw.”

“It’s the best flaw, now shut up and c’mere.”

 

* * *

 

I wake up in a room that ain’t mine with arms around my waist. I look down, confused as shit and sigh in relief. That’s Sasuke’s wrist watch, these are his arms. Thank God, I thought I might’ve fucked up _real_ bad right there. We must still be in his room, then.  I hear a door slam, like strong enough to fuck up a doorway and wake the damn dead. Sasuke shoots up, completely alert, moving to make sure his door is closed and shoving his desk chair up under the knob. What the fuck?

“WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, SLAMMIN’ DOORS IN MY HOUSE?”

“YOUR HOUSE? THIS IS _MY_ HOUSE.” Oh. _Oh shit._ I hear something shatter against a wall and the vague sounds of a body or _bodies_ hitting the floor. Sasuke puts his hands over his face and slides down the wall next to the door. Oh _fuck._ I _never_ know what the fuck to do in these situations, and callin’ the police is useless seein’ as how Mr. Uchiha _is_ the fuckin’ police. I scramble off the bed and over to Sasuke, covering his ears with my hands and pressing his face into my chest. The fight downstairs don’t sound like it’s ‘bout to end anytime soon.

“Fuck you, Fugaku,” more thuds and the sound of somethin’ else expensive breakin’. Jesus Christ on a motorcycle. “You ain’t about to beat my ass over whatever’s got ya fuckin’ panties in a twist.”  

“Where’s Sasuke?” I feel Sasuke stiffen in my arms. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I eye his window, I wonder… “Where is that little fuckin’ pillow biter?”

“The fuck’re you _talkin’_ about?”

“Oh you didn’t know, Mikoto? Our youngest son’s a fuckin’ fruit! He’s been neckin’ with the mayor’s son. He’s just like his faggot brother, and just like you, you fuckin’ carpet munchin’ dyke!” I hear the sound of a fist meeting flesh and a heavy thud.

“Get the fuck out of my house.” Another thud. “YOU FUCKIN’ DEAF? GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY GODDAMN HOUSE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!” Holy shit. I look down at Sasuke and he looks right back at me, embarrassment all over his furious face. He pushes me so hard I fall back onto the floor and gets up. He stomps toward his nightstand and the pack of smokes there, and I don’t even bother sitting back up or gettin’ off the floor. It’s so fuckin’ heavy in here you couldn’t cut it with a goddamn machete and so quiet you could hear a speck of dust drop. I watch him suck the life outta his square and light a new one off the tip of that one, squashing the cherry with his fingertips and letting the butt hit the floor.

“If you’re gonna say somethin,’ fuckin’ say it now.” He grits out, his hands ballin’ into fists. I ain’t got shit _to_ say so I just keep my trap shut. I hear feet on the stairs and soon enough there’s a quiet knock on the door.

“Sasuke? Open the door, sweetheart.” Sasuke doesn’t fuckin’ move, but I do. I nod at the chair, askin’ permission to let Miss Mikoto in. He nods and continues to chain smoke through the pack. I move the chair and twist the knob. Miss Mikoto ain’t got a scratch on her except the bruise around her wrist, I sigh in relief. She looks real embarrassed when she realizes it’s me at the door and not her son. “Oh, Naruto, honey I’m sorry you heard that.”

I scratch the back of my neck, “Uh, don’t be sorry Miss Mikoto. It’s okay, really.” It ain’t okay, but she hugs me and I move to the side, letting her inside. She moves over to Sasuke and his steadily growin’ pile of cigarette butts.

“Honey,” she starts, but Sasuke finishes his cigarette and interrupts her.

“He hurt you.” he grunts, pointing at her wrist.

“Not as bad as I hurt him.”

“Don’t fuckin’ matter,” he spits. “He put his fuckin’ _hands_ on you.”

“Sasuke, language.” she sighs, “I can handle your father, but why don’t you pack some clothes and stay at Naruto’s for the night?”

Sasuke opens his mouth to protest, “But momm--”

“No buts. Plus, isn’t there a party or somethin’ goin’ on at one of your friends’ house? Go and have fun tonight, okay?” I don’t even question how she knows about Kiba’s party, ‘cause mom’s know everything. They stare at each other for a long minute, havin’ one of them secret conversations with their eyes before Sasuke nods.

“Okay, mommy.” She smiles at us before she leaves. I still don’t have shit to say, and neither does Sasuke. And that’s fine.

 

* * *

If I thought _I_ was hell on wheels, I ain’t got shit on Sasuke. We just got to Kiba’s party less than fifteen minutes ago and he’s already shotgunnin’ his third or fourth beer with a lit joint in one hand. I’m not gonna tell him to stop, though. Not after the shit that happened earlier. He slaps a Budweiser in my hand and stares at me, eyes glinting and his lips pulled back in a grin. I crack the beer and toss my head back, chuggin’ it down. I belch and wipe the foam off my mouth. Well, if there’s ever a time to find out how my boyfriend parties, now’s it.

Gaara shows up at about ten o’clock, I’m only half conscious, slumped on a couch, a joint in my hand, and Sasuke on my lap with his mouth attached to my neck when I spot him. Sasuke smells like sweat, smoke, and cheap beer and I tilt my head some more so he can continue makin’ mincemeat outta my Adam’s apple. Gaara saunters over to us and shakes his head.

“Well hello, Naru.” He flops down on the couch next to us, Sasuke doesn’t stop biting another hickey into my skin, just looks up at Gaara with my skin between his teeth. “Don’t worry, sweets.” Gaara pacifies him in that deep voice of his, “I don’t want your chew toy.”

“Hey, I didn’t think you was gonna show up,” I slur. Gaara tisks at me.

“You think Kankuro would miss out on his boyfriend’s birthday party?”

“So they’re official now?” Gaara looks over my head at somethin’ and his lip curls.

“I’d say so.” Sasuke bites hard and I arch up, guess he don’t like not havin’ my full attention. Gaara laughs, “Hey, bite him behind the ear, he fuckin’ loves it.” Damn him.

Sasuke fuckin’ does it and my eyes roll back and I dig my fingers into his thigh. Jesus, Mary, and fuckin’ Joseph. Gaara looks down and plucks the joint from my fingers.

“Was it somethin’ you wanted Gaara? ‘Cause as much as I love talkin’ to ya, my hellcat here ain’t havin’ it.” Gaara makes a show of thinkin’, rollin’ his eyes upward and tappin’ his chin.

“Yeah, a thank you. Even a thanks will do.”

Sasuke bites again, I’m gonna fuckin’ embarrass myself in these jeans I _swear,_ “Thank you, oh Gaara with no last name.”

“My last name ain’t important, and you’re welcome.” Gaara says, before standing up and disappearin’ into the fog of bodies.

“Your hellcat, huh?” Sasuke rumbles into my neck. I tangle my now joint free hand in his hair, it’s so fuckin’ hot in here his bangs are starting to curl back up and it’s so fuckin’ gorgeous.

“Yeah,” I pull on it a little bit, “My hellcat.”

He chokes, “I like that.”

“Show me how much you like it.” But before he can, I realize somethin’: I gotta fuckin’ pee. I groan and push him off of me, apologizing to him as I stumble through the crowd, tryin’ to find the bathroom. If this place is built the same as Neji’s then there’s a bathroom somewhere here on the first floor. I see the light and go for it, pushin’ whoever’s behind the door on the floor probably, and unbutton my jeans while I teeter totter past ‘em to the toilet.

Lemme tell ya, pissin’ with a half chub is fuckin’ _awful_.

 

* * *

 

 

By the time I push my way back to the couch I was sittin on, more sober than I was ten minutes ago, Gaara’s already taken my spot; passin’ a joint to Sasuke with a grin on his face. Uh oh. Nothin’ good ever comes outta Gaara grinnin’. Sasuke’s the first to notice I’m back, waving at me with a dreamy little smile on his face.

“Hi, Sunshine.”

Gaara snorts, “He is sunshine, ain’t he?”

Sasuke nods, “He’s my sunshine.” He’s slurrin’ real bad now, and there’s no tellin’ how good the weed in that joint is, if it’s the same one I got from Kiba after Sasuke smoked the first one. I grab his hand and Gaara’s and drag ‘em toward where I think the back door is.

“Where you draggin’ us to, Naru? I was just about to grill the shit outta Sasuke and give him the shovel talk.”

“There’s no point,” Sasuke sing-songs, leanin’ on my arm and twining his fingers with mine. Gaara looks at him real hard and nods. They don’t say anything else. I wonder what that’s all about?

“So what’s new in your galaxy, Gaara?” I ask, it’s muggy as fuck out here in Kiba’s dad’s backyard, but it ain’t crowded so I can breathe easier. Sasuke’s layin’ down with his head on my lap and his legs in Gaara’s and that’s somethin’ special. Gaara don’t let too many people touch him.

“Same ol’, same ol’. Been hangin’ out with Sasori.” he answers, absently rubbin' his hand over Sasuke’s legs.

“How’s he doin’?”

“He’s alright, still fuckin’ weird though. He’s been tryin’ to keep me outta trouble. My uncle Yashamaru called the other day; told me I was a disgrace to my mother’s memory for bein’ a pillow biter. Little does he know, I’m versatile.” We crack the fuck up at that.

“Is anyone in this town straight?” Sasuke asks. That’s...actually an excellent question.

“I don’t think so, I know Shika’s slept with Chouji before, and everyone’s slept with Shika at least once.”

“I’ve never slept with Shika.” Sasuke slurs. And if I got anything to do with it, he never will. Shika ain’t a bad lay, but Sasuke’s mine.

“I haven’t either Hellcat, so that makes two of us.” Gaara snorts, still rubbing Sasuke’s legs.

“Kankuro and ‘Mari haven’t either.” I mention.

“They’re too busy sinkin’ their teeth into other people.”

“Right. Everyone in my family’s ‘bout as straight as a circle.”

“My mom’s a lesbian.” Sasuke whispers. I stick my hand in his now completely curly and frizzed out hair.

“Right on.” Gaara cheers, “So the answer’s no, then.”

“My dad’s straight as an arrow,” Sasuke mentions. “probably why everyone hates him.”

“Hear fuckin’ hear.”

 

* * *

 

By the time we’re sober enough to leave the party, It’s two in the fuckin’ mornin’ and I’m about to pass out in the back of Nami’s car. Nami’s passed out, stone cold drunk in the front seat, Shikamaru’s slumped across mine and Sasuke’s laps, and Itachi’s driving. I hope he remembers how the hell we got here, cause I ain’t got a clue.

“‘Tachi, we can’t go home tonight. Mom and Dad got into it again.” Sasuke mumbles, his face smushed in the side of my neck. Itachi looks in the mirror and catches my eye.

“It’s cool if y’all stay a night or two, my folks won’t mind.” I answer the silent question he’s askin’ and lean my head against the quarter glass, nodding off.

Itachi gets us home and in one piece. He slings Nami across his back and trudges up the steps, and that’s no easy feat because Nami weighs about two-fifty on a good day. I sling Sasuke across my back and slap Shikamaru conscious enough for him to sling one arm across mine and Sasuke’s shoulders so I can keep him steady with one of my arms around his back and under his armpit. Itachi manages to get the door unlocked and luckily Kakashi’s awake to help us all inside.

“Good party?” He asks me.

“Yeah. Everything okay here?”

“Good as gold.”

“Alright. Night.”

“Night lil’ bro.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello. long time no update, right? holiday season in retail is garbage. being an adult is hard.  
> as far as updates go, they'll probably still be erratic bc you know, adulting is hard. i work five days a week, my next semester of college starts in a week or two, plus i do all my editing and beta reading myself and that takes time. like i don't wanna give y'all anything but my best. i'm all about quality here.  
> anyway, thanks for reading, i love and appreciate y'all!
> 
>  [if you enjoy what i do, consider buying me a coffee?](https://ko-fi.com/jztstmpde)


	11. july 13, 1987

_ July 13, 1987. _

_ Waking up with Sasuke in my bed is fuckin’ tops. He drools as much as I do and it’s disgustin’. _

_ I think I’mma just call him Hellcat from now on. Yeah. He’s my Hellcat and I’m his Sunshine. I dig it. _

 

* * *

 

 

I wake up to the smell of old booze, drool, the muffled bass of what sounds like Earth, Wind, and Fire, and my own bubblin’ guts.

“Fuck.” I grunt, pushin’ Hellcat off me none too gently. Luckily he stays in his drunken coma and continues to drool on my pillow, his arms still curled around thin air. I stumble to the bathroom, tug my pants and boxers down, and cop a squat on the can. I hope there’s some goddamn matches or some fuckin’ Glade in here, cause this smell is loud enough to wake Granny Mito and Uncle Hashirama from the dead.

“Jesus Christ on a rubber raft! Boy, you been drinkin’ that damn Budweiser ain’tcha?” Oh. My. God. I groan and clutch my stomach as I tuck my head between my knees. Of all the goddamn people to show up on a day where I got the beer shits, it had to be him, didn’t it?

I open my mouth to holler--oh God. Oh  _ Jesus _ . I grab the edge of the sink cabinet for leverage. The old perv just keeps cacklin’ but I can hear him headin’ back toward the stairs, thankfully. My stomach cramps up one last time and I close my eyes and think of nice things, like sunshine and lollipops to cover up the unholy sounds my ass is makin’. Oh fuck.  _ Fuck. _ I hope the toilet flushes after this. Shit, I hope I still have  _ intestines _ after this.

“Goddamn son, I thought I was gonna have to get the jaws of life,” Lord, I love my mother, but please let her trip, fall, and break a toenail today. “You hungry, sweetheart?” She can’t hold it in no more, she howls and slams her fist down on the couch. I applaud her effort, usually she just starts laughin’ at me the second I walk down the stairs after I make bad life decisions. Looks like the whole entire house knows about my intestinal difficulties. I swipe a hand down my face and walk toward the kitchen, but Nami catches me with a plate before I can even make it that far. 

“Eat this. Get somethin on ya belly before we gotta call a damn plumber. I ain’t sure if the toilet can survive another round of the Budweiser shits.” She mumbles. It’s good to know I ain’t alone in my digestive woes. She tilts her head and squints, “Naru, you know you got a collar of hickies around ya neck?”

I nod and yawn, “I am well aware; it hurts to turn my damn head.” I scratch my belly, “We might be alright, I poured some drain cleaner in it.”

“The black shit under the sink?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. I had to scrape Shika off the floor this mornin’ and I swear he was tryin’ to summon the Golgothan.”

I hiss, “Ooh. That explains why we only got half a roll of toilet paper left.”

“What’s the Golgothan?” Me and Nami jump a smooth six feet in the air at the sound of Hellcat’s voice. He’s so fuckin’ hungover, it’s cute. He frowns at the both of us, “How are y’all both not hungover?”

“Oh sweetie,” Nami starts before I can open my dumb ass mouth, “once you go to the bathroom, you’ll know.” Nevermind. I didn’t even  _ need _ to open my mouth. I just hope we got some more of that black shit, the bottle’s lookin’ low and the pipes are startin’ to groan.   

The toilet don’t even make it through lunch, and it ain’t even one of us that killed it; the shitty ol’ perv did. Ma called outta work ‘cause she couldn’t stop laughin’, and she ain’t stop ‘til the shitty ol’ perv hollered downstairs askin’ where the mop was.

“Motherfucker, you broke my  _ goddamn toilet?! _ ”

Sasuke nudges me, “This kinda shit happen often?” I can’t help it, I bust the fuck up laughin’.

 

* * *

 

 

“So Naru and Nami, are you not going to introduce us to your guests?”  Orochimaru asks. Well, he doesn’t ask, it’s really a demand but still. He’s sitting on the couch, all prim, proper, and calm and shit while Mama’s still fuckin’ yellin’ at Jiraiya from the stairwell.

Me and Nami look at each other and scratch our hickey-covered necks. Well, I ain't ever been a coward so I go first.

“This is Hellca-- I mean my boyfriend, Sasuke.” Said boyfriend wraps himself around my shoulders like a giant blanket and goes limp. Itachi does the same thing to Nami. Man, they’re fuckin’ cute. We’re fuckin’ cute.

“And this is Itachi, my starship.” Nami giggles, Itachi’s burying his face in her neck and rocking them from side to side. Fuck, they’re cute.

“Nice to meet you.” Hellcat mumbles. I lift an arm and sink a hand in his curls. Orochimaru sniffs at us.

“Cute, and likewise. I’m Orochimaru.” Itachi’s head pops up and Orochimaru eyes him cooly.

“Orochimaru? You're a--”

“Distinguished doctor, full time drag queen. Yes, that’s me.” Just then Ma thunders up the stairs, uh oh.  Orochimaru pulls a square from god knows where, lights it, and stands. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to go save my useless husband from Kushina’s right cross.”

“You ain’t ‘bout to save nothin’, you goin’ up there to watch him get his ass beat.” Nami cackles.

“Pretty much.” He nods at us and glides away.  

“Do y’all just know everybody?” Itachi asks, still staring at the couch where the ol’ queen was sittin’.

I shrug, “Basically.”

Nami sniffs and frowns, “Did any of y’all get the chance to shower?” Oh. Oh shit. Me, Hellcat, and Itachi all shake our heads and it finally hits me.

“Aw fuck!” I shout, “The toilet’s broke, we can’t shower now.” Itachi unwinds himself from my sister’s shoulders and slinks over to the couch and looks through the window.

“Looks like father ain’t back yet. We can shower at my house.”

 

* * *

 

The Uchiha bathroom is the best bathroom I’ve ever set foot in for three reasons:

One, They have a fuckin’ shower curtain. We ain’t had one of them since Ma and Papa tore it down bumpin’ uglies ‘bout three months ago. We don’t give a shit about privacy, but it’s nice to not have a soppin’ wet floor afterward.

Two, they got the tub re-caulked and cleared out that nasty ass clog from when I shoved Play-Doh down the drain. No wonder Granny Mito fuckin’ hated my guts. I think I started bleachin’ my hair so she wouldn’t recognize me and beat my ass every time she caught wind of me.

Three, the water’s still hot when I get in. With at least five or six asses in my house to wash every mornin’, by the time I wake up I’m lucky to have any water at all.

I think I’m havin’ a religious experience here. God, is that you? Did you send me the Uchihas?” Thank you for blessin’ me like this, Jesus.

 

* * *

 

The first thing I hear when I step downstairs is my Nami screamin’ the words to The Warrior with Miss Mikoto. The second is a wolf whistle from Itachi. I look down, shit, I knew I forgot somethin’.

“It’s okay Sunshine, Itachi never wears pants when he’s home. Your belly’s way better to look at than his pale ass legs.” Hellcat comments, starin’ right through me from the couch. Well, if I didn’t feel naked before, I sure do now. I even put my hands over my nipples and turn around.

“Jesus Christ, Hellcat. You’re lookin’ at me like you wanna eat me alive.”

“He does Naru honey, trust me. And Hellcat? That’s so cute!” Miss Mikoto whips around to give Hellcat a teasin’ look as he grumbles and whoa. I’ve never seen her in anything that ain’t a blouse, but she’s standin’ in front of me in an old, cut up Led Zeppelin shirt and a pair of cutoffs and she’s got more ink than I thought. It ain’t just one rose, it’s three; and there’s somethin’ I can’t make out on her foot too. She turns her eyes on me and mine immediately stray to her wrist. There’s some discoloration and anger bubbles up in my chest. She catches my eyes and smiles and the anger sorta eases up. I hope she beat the livin’ fuck outta her husband. I hope he don’t ever fuckin’ come back.

“Naru, anybody ever tell ya you’re built like a brick shithouse?” Nami changes the subject. I look down at my chest and belly; I’ve always been husky and kinda short and too hyper for my own damn good. And hellcat’s kinda like, not thin but nothin’ like me either. What’s the word? Solid. Yeah, there we go,

I roll my eyes, “If it ain’t Ma tellin’ me, it’s you.” She nods. Miss Mikoto perks back up and looks at me some more, and my God I swear I’ve never been ogled at by so many gorgeous people before and I’m startin’ to regret not puttin’ a shirt on. I’m lyin’ through my teeth, but I really can’t take that look on Hellcat’s face.

Miss Mikoto senses my discomfort though and turns back to her youngest son. “Alright Sasuke, you can stop eyein’ him like he’s the last rib on the slab.” I ain’t never seen a man blush that fast or that  _ red _ in my life. I can’t help it, I start laughin’. He looks like a damn cherry Now and Later.

“Mommy, don’t embarrass him like that. It’s not his fault Naru’s parents have beautiful kids.” Itachi mumbles from where he’s managed to tangle himself around Nami yet again. Hellcat’s right, he sure don’t wear pants when he’s at home. At least his boxers ain’t got holes in ‘em.

Miss Mikoto droops and sighs, “Okay, okay. You’re right, it ain’t y’all fault that the Namikaze’s have beautiful kids that you’re both ass over teakettle for; Miss Aranami with her pretty hair and freckles; and Mister Naruto with his smile like sunshine.” She smirks and I swear if I thought Hellcat looked like a cherry Now and Later, Itachi looks like a bag of Cherry Sours. His whole face, neck, and ears are fire engine red like Ma’s hair, maybe even  _ redder _ .

Nami ruffles Itachi’s hair and holy shit even his _scalp_ is red, “You like my freckles, huh?” Itachi lets out the longest groan. Nami tangles her fingers in his mohawk, “Don’t get quiet now, what else do you like?” Itachi buries his face in her shoulder. She tugs on the strands wrapped in her fingers and Itachi stiffens up. She does it again and it makes him stand on his tiptoes. Oh, I think he likes that. “C’mon, fess up loverboy.”

Miss Mikoto don’t bat an eyelash at the torture my sister is puttin’ her son through and I’m just content with seein’ Hellcat all embarrassed and blushin’.

Nami tugs real hard on Itachi’s hair and he finally opens his mouth, “Okay! Okay, fuck….I like how soft you are, how you always smell good, your nose ring,” he buries his face in her neck and mumbles the rest.  Nami ain’t havin’ it. She pulls his hair again, “and I really like your face when you laugh, you just light up and I love your laugh. It’s so fuckin’ boss.”

Nami hums in content, “Now was that so hard? I love you too, snookums.” As soon as it leaves her mouth, Itachi makes a sound I ain’t know a human was capable of makin’. Miss Mikoto starts howlin’ and Hellcat turns his eyes on me with a horrified expression.

I shake my head, “Don’t worry ‘bout it baby, I ain’t  _ that  _ evil.”

He buries his face in his hands, “No, you’re an absolute  _ bastard _ .”

 

* * *

 

Since it ain’t no toilet in my house, Miss Mikoto gets to meet everyone from Kakashi to the ol’ perv and the queen. Hell, even Kurama crawls outta bed and braves the cosmic windstorm to come across the street.

“Mikoto, we’re so sorry for the inconvenience,” Ma starts, “if that asshole over there ain’t break our toilet, we wouldn’t be in this mess.” Jiraiya rolls his eyes.

“It wasn’t me, them damn kids of yours are hard on the plumbin’!”

Miss Mikoto laughs and waves it off, “It’s no problem, thank  _ you _ for keepin’ my kids outta trouble, Kushina. I truly appreciate it.”

“I’m not really keepin’ ‘em outta trouble, that seems to be my kids’ doin’.” Ma giggles.

“Well you  got a good bunch.” Ma slings an arm over Miss Mikoto’s shoulder and tugs her close for a one armed hug and I swear I see Miss Mikoto blush a bit.

“Huh, we never really did get a chance to really welcome y’all into the neighborhood, did we? Our bathroom should be finished soon, I could send the kids to the store and we could have a barbeque to thank y’all for movin’ in. Y’all are a blessin’.”

Miss Mikoto nods and laughs, “I don’t see why not.”

 

* * *

 

“Y’all make me sick.” Shika groans, walkin’ behind us and grabbin’ a bag of chips off the end cap.

I snort, “Nah, all that fuckin’ lighter fluid you drank last night is makin’ ya sick,” I look down at the list Nami scribbled on the inside of my arm, “We need to find the rest of the shit Nami and Ma need for the banana pudding and barbecue sauce.” I grab Hellcat’s hand and Shika groans again.

“I’mma go find Lee, this public display of affection is makin’ my stomach hurt.”

I grab a bag of sugar, “Go ahead, I think he’s stockin’ the freezers. But grab three boxes of Nilla wafers and the paper plates while ya at it.” Shika flips me off and walks away.  I let go of Hellcat’s hand and shove the bag of sugar into it before grabbin’ another.  “Alright, that’s enough sugar, we gotta get some apple cider vinegar next.”

“We shoulda got a cart.” Hellcat says, “or at least a basket.”

“Yeah.”

“...Want me to go get one?”

I bat my eyes at him, “Please?” He snorts and leaves to get one and  _ man,  _ do he look good in them jeans.

 

* * *

 

By the time we get back, the plumber’s van is gone and everything’s in full swing. I pull Nami’s car into the driveway and see Kakashi and Gai liftin’ the tables outta the garage and Kurama comin’ outta the backdoor with no shirt on with a square between his teeth.  I get outta the car and let Shika out, his arms already loaded down with grocery bags. I pop the trunk and grab the charcoal and lighter fluid, and I motion for Hellcat to grab the foil pans and the cookin’ oil. Kurama scoots past and shuts the trunk for us.

“You stayin’ up for the rest of the day?” I ask. Kurama shrugs before fishing through his pockets for a lighter and fishin’ through mine when he doesn’t find one. When he finds mine, he lights up and shoves  _ my _ lighter in his pocket. Fucker.

“Maybe. I feel a lil’ better today, ‘specially after the shower.” He exhales a cloud of smoke right in my fuckin’ face. Yeah, he’s feelin’ better.

“You talk to the ol’ queen?”

He nods, “Yup. Says the ol’ hag is comin’ tonight. She might give me somethin’,” his voice drops to a whisper, “but I ain’t goin’ back on lithium.”

“Good. I’m proud of you for gettin’ up today.”

Kurama presses a kiss to my forehead, “Me too.” Ma screams his name from across the street, where she and Miss Mikoto are sittin’ on the porch. He waves at Hellcat who’s still standin’ next to me and jogs away.

“He gonna be alright? He looks better.” Hellcat asks. I nod, and finally remember that I’m holdin’ two bags of charcoal and a bag of lighter fluid in my hands.

“Yeah, I think he’s gonna be just fine,” I grunt, “but  I’m about to drop this lighter fluid.”

Hellcat lifts an eyebrow, “Why ain’t you just--”

I stop him right there, “No second trips, we die like men.” He laughs and starts headin’ for the back door.

 

* * *

 

 

When we step inside the house, it’s hot as fuck, the music’s blastin’, and it smells amazing. Nami’s standing in front of the stove, her shirt pulled up and tied up high on her belly, hair tucked under a scarf, with a toothpick in her mouth. She don’t smoke while she’s cookin’, says it makes her fingers stink and she can’t have that messin’ with the taste of her food. She don’t even notice us at first, lost in her own lil’ world watchin’ whatever’s in the pot and dancin’ to Got to Give It Up. I drop the charcoal and lighter fluid on the floor and tap her on the shoulder.

“May I have this dance?”  

She shakes her head and snorts, takin’ my hand, “Always, you spaz.” I spin her and we fall into step. Hellcat just stands there watchin’ us try and out dance each other, and Nami’s winnin’ but I got an ace in the hole; I bust a split just as the song ends and he claps.

Nami helps me up off the floor and scoffs, “You only did that ‘cause I was winnin’ and you know I can’t get my fat ass all the way down into a split.”

“Yes you  _ can _ ,” I point out, “you just don’t.”

“Who gon’ pick my ass up off the floor? You can’t even pick ya own ass up off the floor.”

“”Tachi’s plenty strong enough.” She blushes and pops me upside the head. Rock With You starts playin’ and I grab Hellcat’s hand, pullin’ him into a step.

I pull him close and mumble, “I don’t think we’ve ever danced before.” I spin him out and he does a damn good impression of a Michael Jackson with that circle slide before he glides back to me. So baby’s got moves, huh?

My stomach growls. Fuck, now I can’t tell if I’m hungry or if the butterfly bubble guts are back. He grabs my hand again and this time he twists me out and I moonwalk back to him. I pull him close again and slow down to a sway. My heart thumps in my chest. I kinda can’t believe this is happenin’ still; like I’m actually here, standin’ in my kitchen and dancin’ with my boyfriend.  

Hellcat presses his mouth to my ear, “How come we’ve never danced before?”

I shrug, “I dunno, but we’re dancin’ now, and we’re gonna dance some more.”

“Not in my kitchen you ain’t,” Nami interrupts, “unless y’all gon' help me cook or wash them dishes.”

I roll my eyes and Hellcat lets me go. He looks at the sink and walks right on over, grabbin’ the dish rag and turnin’ on the faucet. Nami turns and looks at me expectantly. I throw up a peace sign and head out the door.

“Fine,” she calls after me, “I’ll just tell Sasuke every single fuckin’ embarrassing thing about you then!”

“Feel free,” I yell back, “he’ll enjoy it, won’t you Hellcat?” I can’t see his face, but I know he’s blushin’.

 

* * *

 

I don’t even make it to the end of the driveway when I hear, “Oi, Naru! How come you ain’t tell me you got a new boyfriend?” Oh shit. I don’t even bother runnin’; Pinky grabs me ‘round the neck and puts me in a headlock. I try to wiggle out of it, but she’s like the fuckin’ Terminator and keeps squeezin’.

“Ack! I meant to,” I choke out, “but you ain’t been around. You know me, Pinky.”

She snorts, “Yeah, I do. You prolly so far up his ass he could cough and your fuckin’ shoes would come flyin’ outta his mouth.”

“Exactly.” Holy shit I see spots, I think I’mma pass out. I gulp--well  _ try _ to anyway--and whine  “Please forgive me Sakura, my best friend in the universe, my dollface, my Strawberry Shortcake. I’ll never do it again.” She kisses her teeth and lets me go, thank God. I rub my throat and swallow to make sure she ain’t crush my windpipe. “Jesus Christ, you’re strong. You been trainin’ with Gai again?”

She flexes, “Yup. Been workin’ on submissions.” She throws her arm around the back of my neck again and I flinch a lil’ bit. “How’s it goin’? I wanna hear all about this new boyfriend of yours.”

“Oh, Hellcat? Well his name’s Sasuke, he’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, he lives in Granny Mito’s house, and he gives me a belly ache every time I see him.” I rattle off.

She hisses, “Not the belly ache! He must be somethin’ special.”

I nod, “He is. Him and his brother.”

She raises an eyebrow, “Brother?”

“Yeah,” I point to Itachi across the street where he’s steadily pourin’ ice into a cooler, “that’s his brother Itachi, he’s Nami’s boyfriend.”

“Nami got a  _ boyfriend _ ?”

“I know right?”

She whistles, “Never thought I’d see the day she opened up that can of worms again. Ain’t she have a thing with Hana?”

“That lasted a hot second.”

“You right,” she sighs. “Damn, I missed so much and I only been gone three weeks.”

“That’s ‘cause shit’s actually happenin’ this summer.” I hear a wolf whistle and lift my head to see who it is. Turns out it’s Ino in her shortest fuckin’ shorts, draggin’ Dei behind her. I nudge Pinky, “Looks like Daisy Duke decided to make an appearance.” Pinky head whips around and I end up with a mouthful of Dubble Bubble pink hair for my trouble. I can’t be mad though, Ino’s a bombshell; she’s like a taller Dolly Parton down to the bottle blonde hair, but with smaller tits and her  _ legs.  _ Her legs are somethin’ to be proud of, they ain’t as great as Tina Turner’s, but they got the potential to get there. Pinky’s got a thing for them legs; a real bad thing. It’s so bad, she lets me go and jogs up to her. I shrug my shoulders and head across the street.

 

* * *

 

“Naru sweetheart, I gotta say: you and your folks sure can make a party outta nothin’.” Miss Mikoto says, leanin’ back in her chair, a half empty bottle of Corona in her hand. 

I scratch my head, “It’s a hidden talent. Is there anythin’ I can do? I kinda bailed on dish duty.”

“Don’t like doin’ dishes, huh? I gotcha. I hate doin’ em too.” she hums, “Mm, well, I was gonna send ‘Tachi to the store to grab a few cases of pop, why don’t you go with him?” She takes a swig of her beer and wipes the foam off her mouth with the back of her hand. “He should be in the kitchen with ya parents.”

“Alright.” I open the screen door and walk inside. If my kitchen is in full swing, Miss Mikoto’s is straight bedlam. Ma and the ol’ queen are in there choppin’ up potatoes, Papa’s peelin’ eggs, hell they even got the ol’ perv shuckin’  _ corn _ .

Ma whirls on me the second she hears the door shut, “You! Take ya lazy ass to the store with Itachi and get some more pop.”

“Okay, how did you even know it was me, and I just came from the store, why ain’t you tell me to get pop then?”

“Cause Nami’s car ain’t big enough to hold three boys, two bags of charcoal, groceries, and twelve cases of pop.”

“Neither is ‘Tachi’s.”

“That’s why he’s takin my car, smartass. Now get out before I make you wash all these dishes.”

She ain’t gotta say another word, I’m out that door and across the street and in that car in no time.

 

* * *

“Naruto Uzumaki!” is all I hear before I’m in my second headlock of the day. “Why you ain’t help Nami with the dishes?” The lingerin’ scent of Yves Saint Laurent’s Opium hits my nose and I immediately go limp. Ain’t no use in tryin’ to fight Miss Tsume off, cause if she don’t get you, Kuromaru is always there and he’ll definitely get you. I saw Kiba try to outrun him once, he ain’t even make it to the next block before Kuromaru dragged his ass all the way back by his left asscheek.

“Miss Tsume--”

“Don’t you Miss Tsume me, boy. You been rippin’ and runnin’ the whole day to get outta doin’ them dishes huh?”

“You got me.”

She rubs her knuckles against the top of my head, not hard enough to hurt though and lets me go. She gives me a look: eyes stern and her smile sharp before pulling me close again and smoochin’ my forehead with them purple lips of hers.

“I’ll let you go if you do me one favor.”

“Yes?”

She points to Miss Mikoto dancin’ to Before I Let Go with Ma in our front yard, “Tell me what her name is.”

I wiggle my eyebrows, “Oh? That’s Miss Mikoto, my boyfriend’s mom.”

Miss Tsume licks her chops, “Mikoto, huh? You’re a righteous kid, Naru.” Oh boy. Miss Tsume lets me go and kisses my forehead again before walkin’ over to my mom and cuttin’ in.

“Dude, I’m glad you’re back.” I jump a fuckin’ mile in the air and whirl around to smack Kiba upside the head. “Fuck, what was that for?”

“You scared the dog shit outta me!” I pant. I gotta cut back on the smokes, it ain’t no reason for me to be this winded from just that.

“Oops.” Kiba grins, “Yo, thanks for doin’ that. Ma’s been buggin’ the shit outta me since we got here about Miss Uchiha.”

“She likes her, don’t she?”

“Dark hair, pretty as hell, tattooed, good kids. I’m surprised she ain’t drop to one knee and propose yet.” I don’t know if Kiba knows about Hellcat’s mom, he probably don’t but if he did, he’d be conspiring to get them together. Luckily, I just did it for him.

“Leave Miss Tsume alone man, it’s gotta be lonely bein’ one of the only elder gays and the lone elder lesbian in town.”

“You’re right, I guess.” He spots somethin’ over my shoulder, “Hey, ain’t that Gaara and Lee over there?” I turn my head in the direction he’s pointin’ and I’ll be damned, it  _ is  _ Gaara and Lee, huddled together on Miss Mikoto’s front porch steps. Gaara’s got a beer cradled between his boots and both of ‘em got plates piled with food.

I narrow my eyes, “Is that banana puddin’ I see on Lee’s plate?”

“Sure is. There’s some left, you better go get it.” I take off runnin and as I pass Miss Tsume and Miss Mikoto, I swear I see Miss Mikoto blushin’.

 

* * *

 

 

“Who’s that with my mom?” 

I turn around after scooping a glob of banana pudding into my bowl on the counter. Hellcat’s got his arms folded and a dish towel on his shoulder. Looks like Nami gave him a spare bandana to tie around his head, too.

“That’s Miss Tsume, Kiba’s mama.” He visibly relaxes once I say that.

“Her dog is terrifyin’.”

I grab a spoon from the open pack right next to the pudding, “Oh Kuromaru? He’s half wolf. Sweet as apple pie though.”

“I know, he let me scratch him behind the ear, loves my mom though.” Oh, I get it now. Kuromaru’s friendly, but for him to love on someone is special. If Kuromaru don’t like you, Miss Tsume don’t like you.

I shovel a spoonful of pudding into my mouth, “That’s awesome.” Hellcat scrunches his face up at me. I wink at him and continue to stuff my face.

“I met some more of your friends, too. I dig the pink haired one, said she’s your best friend and she’s prepared to fight me for you.”

“No need to fight Pinky for my honor, sweetheart. There’s plenty of me to go around.”

“There better be, someone’s gotta help me wash the rest of these dishes.” I groan, I’m never gonna get outta this one, I can never say no to Hellcat.

“Alright, You wash, I’ll dry.”

“I’ve been washin’ all day.  _ You  _ wash, and I’ll dry.”

“I’m allergic to dish soap.”

“Liar.” He walks up to me and puts his arms around my waist, “Tell you what though, if you help me with the dishes, I’ll ask my mom if I can spend the night again.”

I turn around, sticking my last spoonful of pudding in my mouth. “Alright it’s a deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoo.... long chapter. hi everyone! how's it going? doing taxes? staying hydrated?  
> again, i'm sorry for the long wait, but this is a long chapter to make up for it. the longest one so far.  
> anywho, as usual, thank you guys for reading. y'all already know that your comments and kudos fill my days with joy!
> 
> also! here's my [tumblr](http://jazthestampede.tumblr.com/) if you wanna follow me and stuff.  
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	12. july 14, 1987.

_July 14, 1987_

_Last night was so fuckin’ rad, ‘til Mr. Uchiha tried to fuck it up. Said somethin’ about us not havin’ a permit and noise disturbance or some shit like that. It don’t even matter, Papa was drunker than a skunk and still put that asshole in his place. Granny Tsunade was about to box him with just her titties, I swear._

  _I could see hellfire in that fucker’s eyes, especially when he laid eyes on Miss Mikoto chattin’ it up with Miss Tsume; especially when he saw that hand on his wife’s knee. Miss Mikoto looked dead at him and smiled too. He drove the fuck off after that._

_Turns out all that cookin’ Nami was doin’ in the kitchen was to cover up the fact that she and Kurama were makin’ a birthday cake for ma since her birthday was the 10th and we ain’t do shit then. I like to think Ma had this plan cooked up for a little while though, she kinda hates it when we dote on her for her birthday. We love remindin’ her that she’s gettin’ old, even though she’s only forty-one. She’d rather us be ourselves, forever gettin’ on her damn nerves and lovin’ her to death._

_Hellcat made good on his promise to spend the night. But unfortunately, Ma and Papa decided to make the beast with two backs. At least they were in their room and remembered to shut the damn door this time._

  _I admire Hellcat’s ability to sleep through anything, I really do._

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Get the fuck up losers,” is all I hear before a heavy hand comes down on my ass cheek, “we’re hangin’ out today.” Jesus Christ, Pinky’s _strong._

“Fuck off, Pinky.” I groan, rubbing my sore cheek. The smack must’ve been loud enough to wake Hellcat up, cause he’s just starin’ real hard at Pinky like he hopes she steps on a thumbtack.

She does not fuck off; in fact she throws herself over the both on us screamin’, “Oooh yeah!” like she’s Macho Man Randy Savage _and_ not only is she strong as shit, she’s heavier than a motherfucker too.

“Christ, Sakura. Is this how you wake everyone up?” Hellcat moans, trapped under her chest.

“Yes. Yes it is.” she gets up and I suck in a relieved breath, “Now c’mon, I gotta spend time with my best friend and shit.”

“Can’t we do this tomorrow?”

“No fucknuts, we do it today.” She slaps my ass again and I flinch, so she slaps it _again_ , “One more for flinching.” she leaves and I roll onto my stomach. Hellcat sits up and yawns, staring at my abused ass cheek.

“Can you walk?” he asks, I must be turnin’ red above the waistband of my shorts, cause he sounds pretty damn concerned. I wouldn’t be surprised if my whole damn hip was red. It sure fuckin’ feels like it.

“Gimme a minute or two,” I groan, “Matter of fact, will you go downstairs and grab me an ice pack from the freezer?” He nods, thank God. “Thank you, I love you.” He turns cherry Now and Later red and pinches my sore ass cheek before hoppin’ out of the bed and headin’ downstairs. I holler loud enough for whoever’s in the livin’ room to hear me. “I still love you!”

“Piss off, Sunshine!” Ha.

 

 

* * *

  


 

“Damn boy, I thought Sakura finally killed ya. I heard them slaps.”

“She’d never kill me, I’m her best friend. You on the other hand...” I trail off.

The ol’ hag waves her hand, her cup of Henny, Black Velvet, whichever the hell it was today sloshin’ around, “Why would I kill my favorite great nephew? ‘Specially when I delivered your dumb ass.” I shake my head and limp right on over to the couch.

“Can’t argue with that,” I look at the tv, “Sesame Street? For real, Tsunade?”

“Don’t make me hurt you, child. You watch this every mornin’. Don’t try and bullshit your way into lookin’ cool in front of ya lil’ boyfriend now”

“Too late for that, I know he’s a dweeb.” Hellcat and Pinky emerge from the kitchen with breakfast in their hands.

“You wound me, babe,” I snark, “no breakfast for me?”

“Make your own damn breakfast.” They say in unison.

“You turned my baby against me?! Pinky, I’m hurt!” I yell.

She smirks, “Tough tit. Hurry up and eat, I wanna go hang out at Castle Bumblefuck.”

“Castle Bumblefuck? Is that what y’all callin’ Big Bertha these days?” The ol’ hag butts in, pourin’ more Black Velvet in her cup. “Are kids still fuckin’ on the slide?”

“They sure are, Auntie Tsunade.”

“Huh. I hope y’all at least put a blanket or a towel down before you screw, That slide is destined to give ya Tetanus otherwise.” I scratch the back of my head, damn, I never thought of that one, usually a jacket is enough but only if your ass is hangin’ off. Auntie Tsunade catches me and snorts, but doesn’t say anything.

Sakura looks around, “Hey Auntie Tsunade, you seen Shika at all today?”

The ol’ hag shakes her head, “Naw, I seen him talkin’ with his folks last night. Must’ve gone home with ‘em.” Me and Pinky look at each other, that shit’s no good. “If you go over there, tell Yoshino if she even _thinks_ about puttin’ her fist through that boy’s eye again, I’mma put _my_ fist through hers.” A chill runs through me, I know she’s serious. I’ve seen her box an old lady on the next block with just her _titties_ for callin’ Kiba a dirty mutt.

The front door flies open, “Hey, hey. Any of y’all seen Sakura--oh.” Ino starts, and stops. I can see the gears whirlin’ in her head; can’t say I blame her, Pinky in shorts is a beautiful thing.

“Hi sweetheart,” Tsunade greets, toppin’ off her glass yet again.

Ino perks right back up, “Hi Auntie Tsunade! Whatcha drinkin’ today?”

“Black Velvet, want some?”

Ino shakes her head, “No ma’am. Have y’all heard from Shika today? I tried callin’, but Miss Yoshino said he wasn’t there.” We all shake our heads.

“I ain’t heard from him, darlin’.”

“Damn.” She sniffs the air, “Is that sausage gravy I smell?”

Pinky nods, sittin’ down on the couch next to Hellcat who’s tearin’ into his plate like it’s the last time he’ll eat.

Ino starts toward the kitchen. I call after her, “Will you bring me a plate, too?”

“Fuck I look like, your maid? Make ya own damn plate!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Kiba, it’s ten in the mornin’. Why are you high?” Hellcat questions. Kiba, the fuckin’ moron, exhales his lungful of smoke in a series of smoke rings. He sits up from where he’s lyin’ on the rusty ass slide and stares at us.

“Seemed like a good idea at the time,” he coughs, “why are y’all awake? Naru, I know you don’t wake up ‘til at least eleven-thirty.”

“It’s all Pinky’s fault.” I yawn.

“She do the Macho Man Randy Savage thing again?”

“Yup.”

“I don’t appreciate y’all talkin’ about me like I ain’t here.” Pinky butts in, givin’ us the stink eye.

“Sorry doll, we ain’t mean it.” Kiba croons, she flips him the bird.

“It’s okay, why are you high at ten am?”

“Well, Ma made breakfast and made me run some over to Miss Mikoto’s, said she promised to make her some of her pancakes. I figured y’all were still sleepin’ and Shika wasn’t home, so I’m here.” He yawns.

“Miss Tsume made pancakes? And you ain’t bring me none?” I’m offended. Kiba knows good and damn well I’d jump out my bedroom window for Miss Tsume’s pancakes, shit, I’d fight Kuromaru for them things.

“I surely didn’t. Ma only sent me with enough to feed a small army, not the Uzumakis.” He holds the joint out, Pinky’s the first to grab it and take a hit.

Kiba turns his bloodshot eyes to Hellcat and stares at him real hard, “Ma really seems to dig Miss Mikoto, Kuromaru too. She ain’t had a crush in a while.”

Hellcat’s eyes light up with recognition, “Your mom’s a--”

“Lesbian, yeah. The biggest, baddest dyke in town, accordin’ to her.”

“I aspire to be that badass when I’m forty.” Ino comments.

Kiba grins, “You’re on your way, babe. All you’re missin’ is the purple lipstick and the tattoos.”

“Don’t forget the studded leather jacket.”

“Right, right.” Kiba rounds on Hellcat again, “So my ma’s crushin’ on yours. You got a problem with that?”

Hellcat plops down in a pile of wood chips, “Not in the slightest. My mom’s a lesbian, too.” Kiba high-fives him.

“Hell yeah, more power to the ladies.”

Pinky high-fives Hellcat too, “Another elder gay to look up to.” Hellcat raises an eyebrow in question and Pinky looks almost offended, “What? You thought I was straight?”

Hellcat raises his hands in surrender, “I had an idea, but I figured Sunshine ain’t got a single straight friend.”

I laugh, “And you would be right, I do not.”

“What about Neji?” Ino asks.

A soft voice chimes in with her answer, “Nothin’ about Neji is straight, he got a mile long crush on Naru.” I whip my turn around and there’s Hina standin’ there with lil’ Mirai all tucked into her stroller. Pinky puts the joint out and starts fannin’ the air around us as if that’ll make the smell dissipate any faster. Hinata waves it off.

My jaw drops, “Neji’s got a crush on me? How come I ain’t know about it?”

“Cause you’re a space cadet.” Hina plops down into the old wood chips next to Hellcat and turns to introduce herself, “Hi, I’m Hinata, Naru’s first and last attempt at heterosexuality, nice to meet you.”

Sasuke nods, “Likewise. I’m Sasuke, the boyfriend.”

She puts her hand on top of his and shakes her head, “You poor, unfortunate, soul.”

“Tell me about it, he’s stupidly adorable.”

“Right?”

Okay, this is ridiculous, “Oi! I’m right here!” I whisper yell,  I don’t actually think Mirai’s awake and I don’t wanna be the one to wake her up.

Pinky pops me in the back of the head, “Now you know how it feels.”

Hina waves me off, “Naru, we don’t care that you’re right there. You ain’t got an ounce of shame in your body.” I shrug, she’s completely right.

Kiba tosses one of his fuzzy legs over her shoulder, “Hey Hina, have you heard from Shika? We can’t find him.”

Hina nods, “Yeah, I know he went home last night. He’s knocked out on Miss Kurenai’s couch. She said he showed up ‘round five this mornin’ drunk as a skunk and in tears.” Whoa, what the fuck? Shika crying? He never cries, not even when he got his face smashed in.

I clear my throat, “He gonna be okay?”

Hina opens her mouth to answer me, but is interrupted by quiet gurgles and shufflin’ from the stroller. Kiba reaches over, unhooks her little seatbelt, and hauls her into his arms.

“Hello munchkin, you woke now?” Kiba mumbles, nuzzling his nose against Mirai’s. “You miss me? You miss your uncle Kiba?” She laughs and grabs a fistful of his hair. Hellcat turns around to inspect the baby in KIba’s arms with a soft look of wonder on his face. Hina catches it and pokes Kiba in his hairy ass calf.

“Hey, let Sasuke hold her.” Hellcat freezes up like a deer in headlights and points to himself like, _Me? You want me to hold her?_ Hina laughs, “Yeah, go ahead; she’s still got that new baby smell.”

Kiba nuzzles Mirai one last time before passin’ her to Hellcat, “Make sure you hold her neck,” he adjusts Hellcat’s hands, “yeah. Like that.” Mirai opens her eyes and tilts her head at him like, _Who the hell are you?_ Hellcat leans down so she can grab at his curly bangs and shakes his head slightly. She gives him one of them gummy smiles of hers and swats at his hair and I swear to God I melt; like if I had the capability, I would let him knock me up right here, right now, behind that big oak tree where Mirai can’t see.

The sound of gravel crunchin’ under tires pulls us outta our new baby scented reverie and we all look up only to lock eyes with the front end of a Chevy Caprice. Hellcat stiffens up and holds Mirai tighter to his chest and Kiba’s face darkens into a snarl for a hot second before straightenin’ back up into a cool look of indifference. Oh, shit.

“You out here smokin’ again, kid?” Fuck, just the sound of Mr. Uchiha’s voice sends me spirallin’ with the need to hem his ass up. I ain’t even laid eyes on the bastard.

Kiba’s starin’ him dead in the eyes, though, “No sir, there’s a child present. I learned my lesson last time.”

Mr. Uchiha sniffs and glances over all of us before starin’ hard at Hellcat. I don’t think he’d try anything while there’s a baby in his son’s arms, but the fucker’ll hit his goddamn wife so I ain’t sure what the asshole’s capable of. I stare Mr. Uchiha down right along with Kiba and Hellcat. He still don’t know that I was in Hellcat’s room while that shit was goin’ down, and I’m not gonna let him find out.

“Your mother’s not home. Do you know where she is?” I cut my eyes over at Kiba and he lifts an eyebrow in response. Yeah, I got a good idea where she is.

“No clue.” Hellcat deadpans.

“She didn’t tell you?”

“No. I left before she did.”

Mr. Uchiha huffs, clearly unsatisfied, but gets back in his cruiser and drives off.

Kiba lets out a huge breath, “Dude, your dad’s a fuckin’ asshole.”

Hellcat looks down at Mirai, who’s totally unbothered by the shit that just happened. “You ain’t gotta tell me, I know.”

“I bet,” Kiba holds out his right forearm and I see scabbed over gashes from his inner arm to his wrist, “but this ain’t shit compared to what Shika’s chest probably looks like.”

Ino looks concerned, “He wouldn’t tell me or Chouji what happened.”

Kiba groans, “Well, it was my birthday and Hana and Ma let me have the last few cans of beer in the pack. So I grabbed Shika cause Loverboy--yeah I’m talkin’ about _you_ , Naru--was nowhere to be fuckin’ found, and I ain’t feel like beggin’ for the car and drivin’ all the way out to Suna or Sora. It’s like, fuckin’ eight o’clock at night, right? We wasn’t even on the damn jungle gym or nothin’; just camped out in the trees and shit, smokin’ the last of the stuff I got from Kankuro, with the last three beers. Then this fuckin’ cop car slides up, no headlights on, no nothin’. All we see is this bright ass flashlight before haulin’ ass over to the alley next to Genma’s bar. I jumped on the dumpster, made it over the fence, and grabbed Shika’s hand. He was halfway over when that fucker caught up and got his ankle. I was holdin on as hard as I could, Shika tried to kick him off and he dragged him back down by his ankle. Tore my arm up. Shika’s chest gotta look like fuckin’ ribbons.”

“He ain’t have a whole lotta blood on his shirt when he came in,” I mention, anger bubblin’ like a pot of hot ass grits in my chest.

Hellcat’s eyes widen, “Father keeps extra shirts in his car.”

Kiba lifts an eyebrow, “He do that shit often, then?”

Hellcat shrugs, “I don’t know, he never talks about his job, never has. I looked in his car window once when I was younger and he damn near ripped my arm out the socket.”

Sakura scoffs, “Dude, Sasuke, no offense but, your dad’s a fuckin’ asshole.”

“A racist, homophobic, self-servin’ asshole.” He agrees, “None taken. Fuck him.” He looks down at Mirai who looks like she’s having the time of her life, “Oh, man. I’m sorry cutie, I don’t mean to be cussin’ around your delicate ears.” Mirai waves her arms like, _It’s alright dude. I hate your dad too._ Hellcat seems to understand her and rubs his nose against hers.

Hinata sighs, “Glad to know I’m not the only member of the asshole dad club.”

“Or the gay mom club.” Kiba quips.

“It’s nice to be included in somethin’,” Hellcat mumbles, still nuzzlin’ Mirai, “ain’t that right sweetheart?”

“I like how you just kidnapped my niece like nothin’.” Hina laughs.

“I can’t help it, it’s the new baby smell.” I still stand by my earlier statement, I would totally let him bang and knock me up behind that big oak tree.

 

 

* * *

  


 

“She’s so fuckin’ hot!” I groan. God, please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...

I pull the square from behind my ear and poke Hellcat to give me his lighter, “Pinky. I love you and all, but if you whine about how hot Ino is one more damn time….”

Pinky whines and drapes herself across my back, “I can’t help it, Naru! She’s fuckin’ beautiful and I just want her to sit on my face.”

Hellcat whistles, “Whoa there, Mustang Sally.”

I let out a lungful of smoke, “And you couldn’t tell her this while she was all over your back like, ten minutes ago while we were walkin’ her to work?”

“First of all, rude. Second of all, she doesn’t know I like her so why would I tell her?”

“You’d be surprised.” I mumble.

Hellcat pinches my arm, “Be nice.”

Sakura plants a wet one on my ear, “Yeah, be nice to your best friend, Naru.”

I try to shake her off, “Gross!”

“That’s what you get, Sunshine.” Hellcat teases.

I snort, “I still can’t fuckin’ believe she turned you against me.”

Pinky plucks the cig right outta my mouth and takes a deep drag, “You know what babe? That’s life.”

I shrug, she’s right. We walk past Akimichi Barbecue, “Wanna go bother Chouji?”

Pinky shakes her head and checks her watch, “Nah, I gotta work.” She peels herself off of my back, “I get off at five, wanna shoot some pool at Genma’s later?”

I shrug, “We’ll see how you feel when you get off, babe.”

She laughs, “Okay, that’s fair. Lemme know if y’all hear anything from Shika?”

“Of course.”

“Alright,” she turns and starts joggin’ away, “See ya Naru! Bye Sasuke.” We stand there ‘til she makes it around the corner.

I groan and crack my back, “Jesus Christ she’s fuckin’ heavy.”

Hellcat laughs, “She’s all muscle and you’re built like a damn bear. You can’t handle it?”

I motion to my stomach, “All this? Banana pudding and runnin’ from the Suna police. Pinky fuckin’ _boxes_. I got nothin’ on her.”

“But why were you runnin’ from the cops?”

“I dunno, but I know it was Gaara’s fault.”

“How so?”

“Cause everything is Gaara’s fault, babe. The fateful lap dance that got me your number? Gaara’s fault.”

Hellcat nods at me, “Well, remind me to thank Gaara then. I owe him one.” I shake my head and throw my arm around his shoulders.

“Never let him know that, otherwise you’ll be runnin’ from the Suna cops too.”

“I’ll take my chances.”

“You like livin’ on the edge, huh?”

Hellcat shrugs, “Can’t be a rebel if you don’t rebel.”

“Mhm. Well, rebel dearest, wanna go back to my place and watch reruns of Maude?”

He snickers and buries his face in my forearm, “Very rebellious, Sunshine. But I’mma have to decline. Gonna go home and check on stuff, change clothes and all that.”

I nod, “That’s fair. Make sure your dad ain’t tear some shit up?”

He nods, “Now you’re gettin’ it.”

 

 

* * *

 

  
  


“Wow, so you and Sasuke ain’t attached at the hip after all.” I jump out my damn skin, not expectin’ to see Shika on my front stairs after droppin’ Hellcat off at home. He kinda looks like shit. Scratch that, no he _really_ looks like shit. His hair’s all fanned out and fluffy around his shoulders--no blue produce rubber band in sight, eyes all bloodshot and shit, but he’s gotta plate in his hands and a square in his mouth so it can’t be all bad.

“Jesus Christ, Shika! Don’t do that shit!” I holler.

“Quit all that damn cussin’!” The ol’ hag yells.

I duck my head and eye Shika, “She still here?”

Shika sniffs and takes a drag, “She drunk and it ain’t even a quarter to two.”

I shrug, “She means well. Honestly she was pacin’ herself earlier.”

Shika exhales a cloud of smoke, “You mean she wasn’t drinkin’ out of a Big Gulp?”

“Nah, a coffee mug.”

Shika nods, “She told me she was gon’ beat my mama ass the next time she laid hands on me. I almost cried.”

I climb up the stairs and sit next to him, “I think that’s all of us, man.”

Shika snorts, “You know, Ma guilt tripped the shit outta me last night. Said she was worried sick, how come I ain’t call, all that bullshit. Like she ain’t know exactly where I was.”

“I mean, you got a key to our front door. Ain’t she the one who told you to leave in the first damn place?”

“Ma’s a strange fuckin’ creature, Naru. She tell you to do one thing and when you do it, it ain’t what she told you to do. I still don’t understand how my old man deals with that shit.”

“He keeps a bottle of Jack in his desk drawer.”

“So _that’s_ where my college fund went.”

“Wasn’t like you were tryin’ to use it, anyway.” He digs his mostly empty pack of Luckies outta his jean cutoffs and passes it to me. I pull one and pat my pockets for my lighter, then I fuckin’ remember Kurama took mine. Asshole.

Shika holds his in front of my face, flame lit, “You worse than the kid in class who always need a pencil.”

“It ain’t my fault,” I mumble around the cigarette, “Kurama stole mine yesterday. It was my good Zippo, too.”

“The one Jiraiya gave you?” I nod, “Well, you know you ain’t gettin’ it back now.”

I sigh in a huff of smoke, “I might, once it runs outta fuel.”

“We live in hope.”

“Truly.”

“So how’s Miss Kurenai doin’?”

Shika sniffs, “Pretty alright. Hina took Mirai for the day, so she spent the better part of this mornin’ makin’ sure I didn’t die from chokin’ on my own puke in my sleep.”

I wince, “How drunk were you?”

“Well, I finished off the bottle of Jack my dad keeps under the hidden panel in the bathroom wall and maybe a fifth of the Old Granddad too.”

“Were you _tryin’_ to fuckin’ die?”

Shika shrugs, “I don’t fuckin’ know. Maybe. I jumped off my bedroom balcony at 3 in the fuckin’ mornin’ drunk as fuck and ain’t even got a scratch for my goddamn trouble.”

I don’t even know what to say to that but I nod anyway, “That’s real.”

Shika laughs, “I fuckin’ hate my mom, Naru. But I love her too. Why she gotta fuckin’ be like this, man? And why do my dad just go along with everything like it’s okay?”

“I mean, you grow up in an era where child abuse is written off as ‘discipline’,” I air quote, ”like beatin’ ya kid’s ass with an extension cord is a normal thing, makin’ your kids feel like whole burdens that owe you everything you get folks like that.”

“And then wonder why I don’t tell ‘em shit, why I jump whenever a goddamn door opens.”

“Too fuckin’ real.”

“You ain’t never got a whoopin’ a day in ya life, Naru.”

“Wrong. Remember when we clogged up Granny Mito’s tub with Play-Doh? She beat my ass so hard I saw the white light at the end of the tunnel.”

“First of all, _you_ did that shit, I just kept watch. Secondly, I told you to fuckin’ run.”

“No you ain’t, you just took off runnin!”

“Same thing.” I open my mouth to argue but the sound of Miss Tsume’s motorcycle roarin’ up the street stops me dead in my tracks, ‘cause on the back of that motorcycle is Miss Mikoto, laughin’ her ass off, arms tight around Miss Tsume’s waist.

Shika whistles as Miss Tsume walks the bike to a complete stop in front of Hellcat’s house, “Damn, that was quick. Itachi owes me fifteen bucks.”

I scratch my head, “Huh?”

Shika huffs a laugh, “I bet that Miss Tsume would knock Miss Mikoto off her feet within the next forty-eight hours. He ain’t think it was possible.”

“That’s fuckin’ mean, dude. You know he don’t know the neighborhood like that yet.”

“And that’s my fault, how? Like, you and Nami keep them locked up all the time and shit, they’ve been here long enough to get to know people.”

I flip him the double bird, “No I don’t!”

“How many times has he slept in your bed, Naru? Has Itachi been back home since him and Nami went on that date?”

I frown and scrunch my face up. Damn, he’s right. I hate it when he’s fuckin’ right, “I retract my previous statement.”

He shovels a spoonful of what’s gotta be cold peach cobbler into his mouth and has the nerve to grin around the spoon. Asshole. I finish the rest of my square and lean back on my hands. I don’t know what to do now that Hellcat’s at home. I could go over, bother him and hang out with Miss Mikoto.

Shika tilts his head and stares at me for a while, then laughs, “Jesus Christ on a semi-truck, Naru. I’ve known you my whole life and I ain’t never seen you this whipped.”

I lift an eyebrow, “What are you talkin’ about?”

He starts cacklin’ like the Wicked Witch of the West, “Like you don’t know, you’re so goddamn whipped, if Sasuke asked you to jump you’d touch the fuckin’ moon.”

“Like you wouldn’t do the same for ‘Mari.”

“I never said I wouldn’t. If she asked me to eat dirt, I’d do it then smile and ask for more.”

“You’re disgustin’.”

“If Sasuke told you to eat his toe jam, you’d totally fuckin’ do it.” I fuckin’ _hate_ arguin’ with this motherfucker, He’s too damn smart, too damn slick, and _always_ right.

“What the hell?! I fuckin’ wouldn’t!”

Someone sticks their head outta the screen door, “Wouldn’t do what?” It’s Kakashi. We tilt our heads back to look at him, and he stares back with both eyes and takes a bite outta his sandwich.

“Naru would eat Sasuke’s toe jam if he asked, yes or no.” God I fuckin’ hate him. Is it illegal to murder your play brother in broad daylight?

Kakashi nods like he’s actually considerin’ answerin’, “Yeah, he totally would.”

I groan and stand up to go inside, “I fuckin’ hate you both. I’m suing’ for defamation of character.”

“No ya ain’t,” Nami cuts in, “‘cause everything they just said was a true statement. Ya can’t argue with facts, baby bro.”

My jaw drops, “Is there _no one_ in my corner today?”

“Is there ever?” Itachi quips.

“Not you too, man!”

 

* * *

 

  
“Wake up, Sunshine.” I feel someone shaking my arm none too gently. I roll over onto my stomach and groan. I just _got_ to sleep, I’m not gettin’ back up for at least another four hours. Whoever’s shakin’ me sighs and next thing I know they’re pinchin’ my ass so hard I shoot up and off my bed. I catch my breath, well _try_ to anyway, as my vision finally comes back into focus. There’s Hellcat, with a shit-eating grin on his face and a plastic grocery bag full of somethin’ in his hand.

“Fuck you do that for?” I pant, clutchin’ my heart with one hand, and my abused ass cheek with the other. I swear I’mma have to check for bruises later, at this point I might be able to sit down tomorrow.

Hellcat chuckles, “You wouldn’t get up, Kakashi told me to pinch you if shakin’ didn’t work.”

I frown, “God, I hate him so fuckin’ _much_.”

Just then Kakashi hollers, “No you don’t!” I don’t even have time to be fuckin’ confused, ‘cause Hellcat is pullin’ somethin’ out of the bag and movin’ toward my TV with it. I narrow my eyes for a closer look, and it’s their NES. I scramble over to where he’s pullin my TV away from the wall and starin’ at the back of my VCR, tryin’ to see where the cables go.

“So, I guess this would be a good a time as any to ask what games you got.”

He looks at me like I got mushrooms growin’ outta my ears as he plugs the cables into the VCR, “Tetris, Mario, and Zelda. I’m askin’ for Metroid as a late birthday or good first quarter present.”

I feel an overwhelming sense of dread cloud my head. I don’t actually know when Hellcat’s birthday is, but Metroid don’t come out ‘til next month--at least that’s what I know from Kabuto; I hope I didn’t miss his birthday, but he woulda told me if I did, right?

He snorts, “I can smell ya brain smokin’ from here. Lemme guess, you think you missed my birthday?”

I scratch the back of my head and cheese at him, “I didn’t, did I?”

He shakes his head and pushes my TV and VCR back toward the wall, “Nah, it’s next Thursday, the twenty-third.”

I nod, “Okay, I got it. July twenty-third.”

“You sure you got that?” He teases.

“Yeah, it’s exactly one month after Nami’s. She’s June twenty-third.”

He absently clicks through my TV channels until he gets back to channel 3, “I guess this would be as good a time as any to ask for yours, since you’re like, a year older than me.”

“October tenth.”

He smirks as he flips the VCR and the game on, “I’ll have to get you somethin’ good then.” He tosses me a controller as he blows into a Super Mario Bros. cartridge. “You any good at Mario?”

“I ain’t played a whole lot of it. Neji’s the only one with a NES and he’s kinda an asshole.”

Hellcat nods, staring at the familiar title screen, “I kinda figured as much. But, we got all day to play. I brought Zelda too, for when we get sick of this.”

I lean over and press the sloppiest kiss I can manage to his cheek, “You’re the best, even if you are mean as cat shit.”

He makes a face but doesn’t wipe the kiss off, “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these chapters just keep getting longer and longer, don't they? but that's okay, cause we're getting to the good stuff! 
> 
> fugaku's a total asshole, ain't he?
> 
> anyway, thanks for reading! y'all literally make my day that much brighter! i have so much fun writing this, and i'm so glad y'all enjoy reading it.
> 
> also, if you wanna catch up with me on the internet here's my [tumblr!](http://jazthestampede.tumblr.com/)


	13. july 16, 1987

_July 16, 1987_

  _I hate Fugaku Uchiha. I hate him so goddamn much.  He came bangin’ on our fuckin’ door and screamin’ for Hellcat like he own the place the other night. He knocked Nami out the way, like hit her with the fuckin’ door and pushed her down on his way in and I swear I ain’t never seen Kakashi or Itachi move like that. I hopped off the couch ready to fuck him up, but Kakashi pushed me out the way and squared up with the fucker while ‘Tachi got Nami out the way. Auntie Tsunade woke up from a dead drunk coma the second she heard Nami yell, busted his ass up like Sugar Ray Leonard, and threw him down the steps._

_I tried to get Hellcat to stay, but I guess he wasn’t ‘bout to risk his dad doin’ this shit again. I ain’t heard from him since. I’m worried ‘bout him. But ‘Tachi tells me he’s alright, he ain’t gon’ let anything happen to his brother._

_But still; Mr. Uchiha ain’t got no problems hittin’ his wife. I doubt he’d have a problem puttin’ Hellcat in a hearse._

 

* * *

  
  
“Fuck you mean I gotta head down to the station?”

“Ma’am, you assaulted a police officer, the police chief, as a matter of fact.”

“I don’t give a fuck if it was the goddamn Prime Minister, _you don’t come up in somebody’s house and hit them with the motherfuckin’ door--”_

“Ma’am if you don’t cooperate, we’ll be forced to arrest you.”

“I wish the fuck you _would_. Tell that punk-ass chief of yours to either send a subpoena or come with a goddamn warrant.” I hear the door slam so hard the house rattles from the force behind it. “Sons of bitches, Minato need to fire the whole fuckin’ force. It ain’t like they do shit around here anyway.” Well then. Good to know Auntie’s still darkenin’ the La-Z-Boy. I stand up from where I’m perched at the top right in front of the stairs. I look at Nami’s bedroom door; it’s shut and I don’t hear nothin’ from inside. Hate swirls deep in my gut, he hurt my fuckin’ sister, he hurts his sons, his wife. ‘Tachi don’t say nothin about it but I know he’s an experienced protector. He curled himself around Nami, back toward Mr. Uchiha like he was ready to take an ass whoopin’. I feel like he’s had to do that before.

This train of thought fuckin’ blows, I’m goin’ back to sleep.

 

* * *

  
“Naru! Phone!” Auntie yells. I don’t even bother movin’. Auntie hollers again, “Goddamnit boy, get up! Ya lil’ boyfriend’s on the phone!” I hop out the bed and stumble through the door with the quickness.

“Comin’!” I yell. I jump down the first three stairs and slip on the fourth, smackin’ my head and back and all I know is pain as I let myself fall the rest of the way down.

“Shit,” I mumble as I get up and hobble toward through the living room to the kitchen. I pass Kakashi and Shika both howlin’ with laughter and rub the back of my head. I’mma have a big ass goose egg by afternoon, watch.

I finally make it to the kitchen, where Auntie is bustin’ the fuck up laughin’ into the receiver.

“Ooh, ooh. Sweetie, I’m okay. Naru just busted his ass fallin’ down the steps.” She wipes the tears from her eyes, “Yeah, he alright. He gon’ have a goose egg, though.”

“Auntieeeeee,” I whine, “can I talk to the love of my life now?”

She flips me the bird and continues her conversation, “You hear that, Sasuke sweetheart? You’re the love of lil’ Naru’s life.” I’m ready to fuckin’ _die_ . God, are you listenin’? Can you make Auntie break a nail today? Just for me? Please, Jesus? Auntie busts up laughin’ _again_ and hands me the phone, “Poor baby, I think I made him drop the phone.” She cackles her way back to the La-Z-Boy.

“Hello, my moon and stars.” I giggle into the receiver.

“God, I hate you. You’re so corny, why am I datin’ you again?” Hellcat deadpans, I know he’s gotta be blushin’ somethin’ fierce.

“‘Cause you liiiiiiiiikeeee me, remember?”

“What’s your definition of like?”

I grab my chest, “Oof, Hellcat. Don’t be mean to me, I could have a concussion right now.”

“That’s ya own fault, Sunshine.”

“But I got it tryin’ to get to you!”

“I woulda waited!”

“Hey, Sasuke! Thank you for today’s entertainment!” Kakashi hollers. I scrunch my face up and stick my tongue out at him but he just keeps goin’ with that hyena, witch cackle laugh of his.

“Fuck you and ya weird ass wolf teeth!” I yell back.

“I think that’s my job, ain’t it?” I stop cold. I pull the phone away from my face and stare at it so long Hellcat asks me if I’m still there.

I clear my throat, “Yeah, I’m here.”

“Now who’s blushin’?”

“You’d never be able to tell.”

“Ah, but I can hear it in your voice, babe.” I choke and my stomach gets all fluttery. God, I love him. He thinks I’m jokin’ but I really do love him. I hear a door open in the background and Hellcat lets out a short gasp before catching himself. “Fuck, I gotta go. Talk to you later?”

“Yeah, call me whenever, I’ll be here.”

He hums, “Okay. See ya, Sunshine.” The line goes dead just as I hear Mr. Uchiha’s voice in the background. I frown. He’d tell me if he was in any kind of trouble, wouldn’t he?

“Oi, loverboy.” Shika drawls, “You just gonna stare at the phone all day?”

I shrug, “If I feel like it.”

“You’re pathetic, oh my God.”

I put the receiver back on the hook, “Says the dude who can’t even manage to talk to one girl.”

“That may be so, but at least I don’t stare at the phone, waitin’ for her to call.”

“That’s cause you ain’t got her number, one. Two, she ain’t got a reason to call you.”

Shika shrugs, “I don’t know how to talk to older girls, man. Nami’s my sister.”

I walk into the living room and sit next to Shika on the couch. Auntie Tsunade huffs and pulls out her bottle of Henny and tops her coffee mug off.

“Men,” she laments, swirling her mug, “are all idiots.”

“Aren’t you married?”

She gives Shika the evil eye, “First of all, shut your pie hole. Secondly, Dan ain’t excused, either. You too smart for ya damn britches, yet fuckin’ dumb as a sack of rocks. _You don’t know how to talk to girls,_ my ass.” Shika shrinks back into the couch. Kakashi’s cacklin’ again and my heart is filled with glee watchin’ him get chewed out. “Talk to her like she’s human, dummy. Ya never know, she might like ya lil’ corny self.” She downs her cup of liquor and mumbles somethin’ about Shikaku bein’ a lazy motherfucker and not raisin’ his son right.

I tap Shika on the thigh and nod toward the staircase, he gets off the couch and grabs my hand to haul me up. Auntie is still goin’ the fuck off about Shikaku and Kakashi’s laughin’ so hard he’s on the floor wheezin’.

I throw an arm over his shoulder, “Wanna go to Suna?”

Shika looks at me like I done grew another head, “What’s in Suna?”

I shrug, “Temari, for one. Look, I’ll go and ask Nami if I can borrow her car, you call Kiba ‘cause he’ll skin us alive if we don’t take him to see his boyfriend.”

Shika’s still lookin at me like I got snakes growin’ outta my scalp, “So….you ain’t gon’ sit around mopin’ about your boyfriend?”

I move toward the stairwell, “Okay, I get it. I’ve been neglectin’ y’all, but if you don’t wanna try and get ya girl, I’ll just go and smoke out with Gaara by myself.”

“Bring me back a joint!” Auntie hollers.

Shika sniffs, “Lemme go get my shoes then.”

 

* * *

 

I press my ear against Nami’s door and knock. I hear music comin’ from inside, so that’s a good sign.

“State ya business!”

“Lemme get ya keys, please!” I yell through the door. Nami opens her door, her ‘fro all wild and fluffed out to its full glory. She scratches her head and raises an eyebrow,

“What’chu need my keys for?” she asks.

“I wanna go to Suna, hang out with Gaara and them.” I answer.

“You got Suna gas money?”

I kiss my teeth, “Yeah, actually I do.” She flicks my forehead and opens her door to let me in. Outta the three of us, Nami has the coolest room; it’s covered in them big, theatrical movie posters from the theatre she worked at a couple years ago and posters and cutouts from _Rolling Stone_ and _Right On!_ Magazine. Ma and Papa bought her a new stereo for her birthday and I’m still fuckin’ jealous, cause it’s one of them expensive ones with the record player, cassette deck, _and_ radio.

“So, what’s in Suna that’s so important today?” She flops down on her bed and picks up whatever cookin’ magazine she’s readin’ today. I shut the door and lean against it.

“I’mma be a good play brother and best friend and help Shika get ‘Mari’s number.”

“Pffffft, good luck with that shit.” I give her a look like, _I know, right?_ We laugh for a minute as Salt-N-Pepa’s _Tramp_ fades into _I’ll Take Your Man_ and I remember what I was in here for. I put my best puppy dog eyes on and raise my hands in a beggin’ gesture. She snorts before pickin’ her keys up off the nightstand and pressin’ em into my hand.

“Be safe if you take the freeway, and make sure my tank is full before you even think about comin’ home. If I ain’t got at least half a tank, ya ass is grass.” She threatens.

I roll my eyes, “Yeah, yeah. I know the drill.”

“Don’t get smart now, I’ll sit on you.”

I stick my tongue out at her, “You don’t scare me!” Then I immediately turn around and I’m out the door in a flash.

She bangs her fist against it, “Have fun! Go get Shika laid! Or Kiba, whichever’s easier.” It’s definitely Kiba, but I’ll be damned if I don’t help Shika’s sorry ass make some progress with ‘Mari. I walk back to my room and dig in the dresser for a shirt. I come back with one of Papa’s old Zeppelin shirts and throw it over my head, pullin’ my arms through as I walk down the hallway and slip on the steps _again_ , only to meet Shika at the bottom crackin’ the fuck up.

“Damn, now you gon’ have two goose eggs on that dome of yours.”

“Dude,” I groan, “if you wanna make a fool of yourself in front of ‘Mari, then help me up so we can go.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Naru, how do you even know Kiba’s here?” Shika grumbles as I pull into the dusty, gravelly, not-driveway of the Inuzuka Kennels. I kiss my teeth as Kuromaru comes boundin’ up to the car, Miss Tsume not too far behind him, with a pair of clippers in her hand.

“It’s Thursday ain’t it?” I reply. Thursdays are groomin’ days at the kennels, and if I wasn’t already in Nami’s car with the intent to go somewhere, I bet Miss Tsume would have my ass workin’ too.

Speakin’ of, Miss Tsume sticks her clippers in the pocket of her Dickies shorts and leans down, “Darkenin’ my doorstep a lil’ early, ain’t you boys?”

I shrug and give her my best smile, “We mean no harm, Miss Tsume. Just wanted to know if Kiba’s here, is all.”

She scoffs, “It’s Thursday, _mijo_. You know it’s---”

“Groomin’ day, I know.” I interrupt, she narrows her eyes at me and I immediately raise my hands in surrender. She chuckles and flicks my forehead.

“Alright,” she turns and hollers, “Kiba!”

“Yes, ma?” He yells back.

“ _¡Ven aquí!”_ The front door opens and Kiba comes tumblin’ out of it, strugglin’ to get his beater over his head with Akamaru trailing behind him.

He finally gets it over that big ass dome of his and jogs over to the car, “Yes mama?”

Tsume snorts a laugh, “Ya boys are here to spring ya, you done with your block?”

Kiba nods, adjusting his hair net over his still wet hair, “Yeah, I just finished Chicharrón.”

Shika snorts, “You named one of the dogs after pork skins?”

Kiba flips him the bird, “No, Hana did.”

Miss Tsume pulls Kiba into a noogie, “It’s a lovely name for a lovely _perrito_ . _¿Adonde van?”_   

“Suna.” I reply.

She stops running her knuckles across her son’s head and stare him dead in his face, “Suna, huh?”

Kiba groans, “Mommy--”

“Don’t gimme that shit, I know you goin’ to see that nappy-headed ass boyfriend of yours. When you gon’ let me meet him, huh?” She tightens her grip around Kiba’s neck and doubles down on a new noogie, and I fear for Kiba’s scalp. Lord, please don’t let her give him no bald spots. He starts strugglin and she lets him go, “You won’t even tell me his name!”

“Cause I don’t want you to sic Kuromaru on him.”

“That was only _one time_ and it was on that _pinche cabrón_ Hana brought home.”

“Point taken and acknowledged. I’ll ask him when I get to Suna.”

She lets him go, “Alright _mijo_. Be safe, you hear me?”

Kiba plants a sloppy kiss on her cheek, “ _Sí,_ mommy. I’ll be safe.”

She laughs, “Good. Get outta here, I got work to finish.” Kiba opens the back door and hops inside. “Be good, Naru. I don’t wanna hear about you runnin’ from the cops, now.”

“I will, Miss Tsume!”

“What about me, Auntie?” Shika pouts. I guess he feels left out.

She lifts an eyebrow, “I ain’t worried ‘bout you. The worst thing you could possibly do is keep watch for those two dummies,” I wanna be offended, but she ain’t wrong. Suna is like the perfect place to do dumb shit and not really worry about gettin’ caught. “What are you waitin’ for? Get the hell off my property!” I throw the car in reverse and back outta the not-driveway, honkin’ at Miss Tsume before takin’ off and headin’ toward the highway.

“So, why are we goin’ to Suna?” Kiba asks, wrapping his arms around mine and Shika’s headrests.

“We’re on a mission: we gotta get Shika laid. Or at least get him ‘Mari’s number.” I answer, eyes on the road. Shika’s got one of his feet propped up on the dash.

Kiba laughs, “So, that means we’re gonna leave him alone with ‘Mari while you go commit acts of delinquency with Gaara, and I hang out with Kankuro.”

“By hang out, you mean hittin’ the skins, right?” Shika deadpans.

“You mad?”

“Not in the slightest; by all means, continue to get laid on a regular basis.”

“Hmph. I hate it when I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.” Kiba pouts and falls back into his seat as I shift gears.

Shika tilts his head back against the headrest, “I can’t genuinely be happy for two of my best friends and sorta-brothers finding love?”

“Hell nah you can’t.” Me and Kiba say in unison.

Shika sucks his teeth, “See if I ever keep watch for y’all ever again.”

“Mhmm,” I hum, “Now do me a favor and tell me if it’s alright to get over in that lane.” Shika puts his foot down and eyes the mirror carefully.

“I need better fuckin’ friends.” he groans, “Yeah it’s alright, go ahead.”

The second we get off the freeway and in the Suna city limits, the car gets rocked by a heavy gust of wind. That’s the thing about Suna, there’s always a wind storm--like a tornado touched down but without any of the hail or rain--and the wind is hotter than _Satan’s_ _toenails._ Me and Shika roll the windows up as Kiba sprawls across the backseat.

“This was a terrible idea, I don’t know _why_ I let myself get dragged into this.” He graons, “ _Fue una idea mala.”_

“Shut up puppy breath, you know the weather is always shitty here.” Shika mumbles.

“The things I do to get me and my friend laid.”

“You ain’t _did_ shit!”

 

* * *

 

“State ya business!”

I roll my eyes, “‘It’s me, Gaara. open the door.” I hear the lock slide and the deadbolt turn, and we’re bein’ assaulted by the sound of _Little Lies_ on blast. I see red hair peek through the door first before those pretty ass green-blue eyes and the rest of his make their appearance.

“The fuck’re y’all doin’ here?” he steps back and opens the door, dressed in a sports bra and plaid boxer shorts. We shuffle past him into the glorious, air conditioned house and into the living room, where Temari and Kankuro are sprawled out on opposite ends of the couch.

“Hey Naru, hey friends.” ‘Mari greets from the couch. Kankuro is knocked out, snorin’ with his mouth open and drool runnin’ down the side of his neck. ‘Mari takes the leg slung across the back of the couch and kicks him on to the floor. I give Shika a quick glance out the side of my eye and I see him swallow and stare hard. I can’t blame him, she ain’t wearin’ a bra under her cut-up Bon Jovi shirt, and her legs are lookin’ especially good in them shorts; shit, they could barely be called shorts, like, Daisy Duke ain’t got shit on her. Kiba immediately moves toward the couch and flops down in the empty spot.

“Hey ‘Mari.” he chirps, immediately puttin’ Kankuro to use as a footrest.

 _“¿Qué tal?_ What brings y’all to our neck of the woods? _”_ Kiba kicks off one of his house shoes and tries to stick his toes in Kankuro’s nose.

“It’s borin’ in Konoha right now.” I see him jab Kankuro hard in the nostril with his big toe, sendin’ the poor guy into a snortin’ fit.

“Jesus Christ on a stripper pole,” he grumbles, lookin’ real confused, “what the fuck--”

“Good afternoon, Sleepin’ Beauty.”

Kankuro visibly relaxes at the sight of Kiba, “Hey,” then turns on ‘Mari with a snarl, “why am I on the floor?”

‘Mari truly don’t give a shit about the look on his face, “Needed more room for our guests, you sleepy fuck.” Kankuro lifts himself up into a sittin’ position and settles himself between Kiba’s legs.

Kankuro sniffs the inside of Kiba’s fuzzy legs, “Ya smell like vinegar.”

Kiba shrugs, “Groomin’ and bath day at home. Chicharrón wouldn’t stop runnin’ between my legs.”

“That’s the runt you keep talkin’ about, right? The Aussie?”

“Yeah.” Kankuro hums and keeps his face against Kiba’s leg like he’s goin’ back to sleep. Kiba sinks his fingers into his boyfriend’s ‘fro and just keeps them there. I wonder if this is what me and Hellcat look like, cause it’s so goddamn sweet it’s _disgustin’._

But I’m glad that Kiba’s got someone, cause we all need someone. I look at Shika again, he’s made his way to a loveseat and sat down without me even noticin’. I’m the only one standin’ up now. A small hand claps down on my shoulder and I turn around and I’m starin’ Gaara in his big ol’ eyes.

“C’mon, let’s hang out upstairs. Them two are givin’ me heartburn.”

 

* * *

 

Gaara’s room is dark and blissfully cool, his lucky ass got an air conditioning unit all to himself. He presses the button on the stereo and Bela Lugosi’s dead comes pourin’ from his ghettoblaster.

“Undead, undead, undead.” I mumble. Gaara must’ve heard me, ‘cause he turns around and gives me one of his private lil’ smiles.

“I knew there was a reason I liked you.” He rasps like he’s dyin’ of thirst, but that’s really just his voice most of the time.

“I do have excellent taste in music.” I grin.

“I mean, if you call screamin’ Let’s Hear It For The Boy dead drunk, at the top of ya lungs at Chouji’s birthday party excellent taste.”

“The Footloose soundtrack has some of the best songs of this decade on it.”

“You got me there.” He falls backward onto his bed, and laces his fingers together on his bare stomach.

“Folks been fuckin’ with you again?” I nod at his bruised up, crusty knuckles.

“Tried to,” he grunts, “put ‘em in the hospital.” He starts pickin’ at the scabs on his right hand.

I sit on the bed next to him and grab it, “What’d they do?”

“Called me Saiyuri. Loud, too.”

My blood runs hot, “Please tell me you put ‘em in intensive care, at least.”

“If they ain’t, it ain’t from lack of tryin’. I knocked one of ‘em out cold, cracked him right in the temple. Rasa bailed me out.” I nod. Good. They deserve to be in the fuckin’ hospital. Truly they belong in the fuckin’ dirt, but Gaara don’t deserve that kinda mark on his soul, or on his record. “My name ain’t fuckin’ Saiyuri, I don’t care what my birth certificate say.”

I hum and start rubbin’ circles on the back of his hand, “Still can’t get it changed?”

“Mom’s workin’ on it. It’s hard, because I’m sixteen and apparently I’m just in the middle of a," he scrunches his face up and air quotes, _“‘sexual identity crisis.’”_

“That’s some bullshit.”

“Tell me about it,” he rolls onto his side, “what’s new with you, though?”

“Not much,” I yawn. Gaara gives me a look, and it comes tumblin’ outta my mouth before I can stop it,  “Hellcat’s dad hurt Nami, and I think he might be in trouble, too.”

Gaara sits up, “Hurt Nami how?!”

“Hit her with the fuckin’ door as he was comin’ in the house. Almost took it off the hinges.”

“Please tell me Kakashi or someone was there.”

“Even better, Auntie Tsunade was there. Fucked him up real good.”

“I’m mad I missed it.”

“It was fuckin’ _great._ ” He lies back down beside me and we stare at each other for a long time. Like, I’m starin’ so hard at him I can see barely there freckles on his nose, and I’m pretty sure he’s countin’ the moles on mine.

“You say Sasuke might be in trouble?”

“Yeah,” I swallow, should I tell Gaara about the fight I heard Hellcat’s parents havin’? Nah, I ain’t gonna betray his trust like that. “I mean, his dad was lookin’ for him the other night when he hurt Nami, so after Tsunade busted the fucker up, Hellcat just up and left. Like he didn’t say bye or nothin’, just fuckin’ walked out and across the street with his head down.” I swallow again, “I’m worried, Gaara. His dad hurts people.”

“I know,” he gets off the bed and heads over to his dresser, “he fucked Shika and Kiba up real bad. I heard Kankuro screamin’ about it the other night.”

“Yeah.” I watch him find a shirt and tug it over his head. He sticks a foot under his bed and slides a pair of jeans out before pickin’ ‘em up with his toes and bringin’ them up to his hand.

“You shoulda been a gymnast.” I joke.

He starts tuggin’ the jeans up his legs, “I was.” My jaw drops a lil’ bit. “Quit when I was 9.”

“How come?”

He takes a deep breath and buttons them up, “Hated leotards, grew tits, the first plague started, you know. _That_ whole schtick.”

“Tits are great when you ain’t the one growin’ em.”

“That’s the smartest thing I’ve ever heard you say.” He bends down to see if his boots are under the bed, they’re not. “Wanna go to Sasori’s with me?”

 

* * *

 

“Make a right, right here and pull up next to the shitty Bronco in the parkin’ lot.” I follow Gaara’s instructions and pull up in front of a dinky lil’ building with a Suna license plate reading, “Akasuna” in the window.

“We in the right place?” I ask, Gaara rolls his eyes and gets outta the car, walks up to the big steel door, and starts bangin’ on it with what seems like all his might. Eventually a short, redheaded man opens the door. Gaara’s told me about Sasori a couple times, but he ain’t tell me he’s a fuckin’ _vampire_ because there’s no goddamn _way_ that man’s thirty-five years old. I kill the engine and get outta the car myself when Gaara starts starin’ at me like I’m a fuckin’ moron.

“So he finally decides to join us.” Gaara gripes, “Sasori, this is Naru. Naru, this is Sasori, my cousin.”

“Hey. How’s it goin’?” I greet.

Sasori stares at me for a while before opening his mouth, “You an Uzumaki?” Holy shit. His voice is so soft, I can barely hear him.

I lift an eyebrow, “Yeah.”

“Kurama’s baby brother.”

I don’t even question how he knows Kurama, but nod anyway, “Yup. How’d ya know?”

He points to his own cheeks, “You got the same scars, and ya roots are comin’ in.” I stick a hand in my ‘fro. I ain’t looked in a single mirror today--at least I don’t think I have, anyway. Whatever, it ain’t that important. “Plus he works here sometimes, talks about y’all all the time.” Sasori turns around and heads inside and waves for us to follow.

“Whoa.” The inside of Akasuna is....fuckin’ _beautiful._ I ain’t no art connoisseur by any means, but _whoa._ Sasori is truly a master of his crafts. I ain’t never seen a wooden doll castle, a glass dragon, or human-sized puppets before. I think he makes all the furniture and shit for this place, too.

So I ask the dumbest question one can ask an artist, “You make all this?”

Sasori turns around and smirks at me, “It ain’t all me. Gaara and Kankuro help too.”

“Yeah,” Gaara pipes up, “I’ve been learning how to blow glass and throw pottery.”

“It figures you’d be good at it,” I say, “I mean, you told me you loved to play in mud puddles and sandboxes as a kid.”

Gaara snorts, “Clearly, I still do.”

 

* * *

 

 

Watching someone blow bubbles into three thousand degree molten sand and watch it become glass is fucking wild. Sasori’s a great teacher though, he’s showin’ Gaara how to turn the rod just at the right speed to keep it from flyin’ off and get the shape just right.

“Okay; now blow, but keep rolling.” Sasori’s soft voice instructs, “Just like that.” He moves them over to a new, little bench where Gaara sits down and Sasori cups the bubble with a piece of wet wood, making it even rounder. I can see steam and little sparks comin’ off of it. Jesus. If it’s hotter than Satan’s toenails outside, then it feels like the sixth circle of Hell in here. I watch Sasori pull out the biggest, most industrial lookin’ pair of scissors I’ve ever seen, grab the end of the glass, pull, and cut before droppin’ ‘em and grabbin’ the biggest pair of steel tweezers I’ve ever seen.

“Alright; now I’mma make a constriction,” he squeezes the tweezers and shapes it some more, “keep goin’.” Once he’s satisfied, he drops the tweezers and stands. He jogs over to another table and grabs a new set of tweezers before comin’ back and standin’ in front of Gaara.

“You ready?” he asks. Gaara nods and grabs a little mold, placin’ it under the glass marble. Sasori takes the butt end of the tweezers and taps the marble, snappin’ it right off the lump. Sasori takes it over to what looks like an industrial refrigerator, but it’s really an oven and sticks it inside to cool off. Gaara gets up and dips the pipe in a bucket of water.

Sasori turns to me, “Well, what’d you think, Naru?”

I raise my hands in the air, “That was the coolest fuckin’ thing i’ve ever seen.”

Sasori takes a bow, “Thank you, thank you. Makin’ glass is fun, but it’s a two man job. You wanna play in some dirt instead?”

I tilt my head, “Play in dirt?”

Sasori walks over and grabs my hand, “Come on, I’ll show ya.”

 

* * *

 

“Alright, so dunk your hands in the water,” I do as I’m told while Sasori turns the wheel on and sets the pedal closer to my foot, “press down on the pedal--easy though, like you’re just pullin’ off in the car.” I press down and the wheel starts spinnin’. Sasori places his hands on top of mine and guides them down to cup the clay. “See, you gotta center it first; get all the clay into the center of the bat so it don’t go flyin’ off and smackin’ you in the face.” Together we press on the clay until it all sits in the middle of the bat. “See, there you go.” he nods, “Now you gotta open in up, you right or left handed?”

“Right.”

“Mm, so what you’re gonna do is take ya first two fingers and press down in the center, and when you get down far enough, pull outward. But dip your hands again first.” I dip my hands and press like Sasori tells me to. I look over at Gaara who’s already got his lump of clay opened and startin’ on the shape. I press my first two fingers into the clay, make a deep enough hole, and pull outward.

“Good job,” he dips his hands in my bucket of water and grabs a sponge, “now, we gotta pull it up. Do you wanna make a vase, or a big ass bowl?”

I look at Gaara’s pot-vase thing--I’m not really sure what it is now, “A bowl should be good. Somethin’ nice for the dinner table.”’ Sasori nods and sticks his hands to mine again, takin’ the sponge and pressing against the inner wall with one hand and pullin’ up on the outside with the other until it’s the right height and thickness to make a bowl. He pulls my hands out along with his and dunks them into the bucket again.

“Alright, it’s on you now; this is the fun part: stick your left hand in with the sponge and push outward, but pull up and at a curve on the outside so it can round out.” I follow his instructions but i can see it’s gettin’ kinda thin at the top. Sasori seems to notice and pulls out a long needle tool from his apron. “Move your hands for a sec,” he pokes a hole in the clay and keeps still until the bowl makes a full rotation, pickin the thin part up and flingin’ it into the clay storage thing. “Two points.” I snort a laugh and finish shapin’ my bowl. Gaara’s started on a new lump and I’m kinda jealous, but he’s been doin’ this for like, weeks or months now. Sasori bends down to take a look at what I got so far, “Awesome. I’ll make a potter outta you yet, Naru.”

I can’t help it; I grin, “This is so much fun!” He laughs and sticks that needle tool into the base of my bowl and shaves off the excess. He turns the wheel off and lifts the bat with my bowl on it, slidin’ it on a shelf above my head. I look back to Gaara, whose thighs and forearms are covered in clay.

“Whatcha makin’?” I ask. I look down at myself and I’m covered in slimy clay too. Thank god Nami has leather seats, not that she really minds.

Gaara grunts, focused on gettin’ it just right, “Oil lamps. One for mom, and one for ‘Mari.”

“That’s right, ‘Mari’s birthday’s next month, ain’t it?”

“Yup,” He stares at my clay covered arms, “You might wanna go wash that off before it dries. Otherwise you’re gonna itch.” I nod and head for the sink, where Sasori has the water runnin’ and a bat with his own pot on it, and he’s tuggin’ on a lump of clay.

“What’s that gonna be?” I ask.

Sasori continues to tug until he gets a rope goin’,  “A handle. ‘S gonna be a teapot.”

“Sweet.” I turn on the other faucet and wash my arms off with some soap.

“It’ll take a couple days for your bowl to dry before I can fire it. But you should be able to paint it and stuff if you want next week sometime.”

I nod, “Yeah, that’s good for me. I’ll even bring Kurama.”

Sasori huffs, “Please do, it’ll be good to see that flaky asshole.”

“How come you didn’t tell me that Sasori was so much fun?” I ask Gaara once we’re back on the road. The sun’s startin’ to set and I gotta be gettin’ me and my stupid ass friends back to Konoha.

Gaara drapes his arm outta the window, “You never asked.”

“Smart ass,” I swat at his curly hair, “you just told me he was weird and never mentioned anything else.”

“He _is_ weird. He was just bein’ polite cause you were there, but that man is a menace.”

“How can he be a menace? He’s like…5’2’’ and looks like he’s 12.”

“ _That’s exactly why._ He can do _anything_ he wants and never get in trouble because he looks like that.”

I think hard about it for a second and a look of horror dawns on my face, “Fuck, you’re right.”

I pull into Gaara’s driveway and cut the engine. He turns to look at me like we’re about to have one of them deep ass car conversations.

“Bring Sasuke with you when you come back.” My heart drops, fuck, I forgot about Hellcat. I just fuckin’ up and left when I told him I’d be home. Gaara senses my distress, “You wanna call him when we get inside?”

I shake my head, “Nah. I don’t wanna risk his dad pickin’ the phone up.” Gaara nods and we get outta the car. He unlocks the door and waves at me to come inside. We get in the vestibule and I see Shika knocked out on Temari’s chest. Kiba and Kankuro ain’t nowhere in sight.

Gaara snorts, “How fuckin’ _cute._ ” He moves toward the stairs, “I’ll go get Kiba so y’all can head back.”

I smile at him, “Thank you, I love you.”

“Don’t let Hellcat hear you sayin’ that. Somethin’ tells me he get a little jealous.”

I snort, “He ain’t got nothin’ to be jealous of.”

“Sure he does; not only am I fine as hell, but I’m also the only person you do coke with.”

I nod, “True.” He doesn’t reply and jogs up the stairs. I hear his fist bangin’ against Kankuro’s door and a loud ass, “WHAT?!” from up there. I walk into the livin’ room and look at the TV, looks like they fell asleep in the middle of An American Tail, cause they’re buildin’ the Giant Mouse of Minsk on the screen. I creep over to the couch and shake Shika’s shoulder, he’s like, half buried in ‘Mari’s tits. No response. I shake again, he buries the side of his further in her cleavage. I shake him one more time and pinch the shit his arm.

He startles awake, “Jesus tittyfuckin’ Christ Naru. Fuck you do that for?” he groans, and slowly comes to the realization that he’s pretty much motorboatin’ the girl of his dreams. “Oh, shit,” he whispers. He separates himself from her, grabs the blanket from the back of the couch and covers her with it.

“Y’all look like y’all had a good time,” I muse, “An American Tail is a classic.”

He stretches and cracks his neck, “We were makin’ our way through em. Rescuers was next.” There’s a loud ass thud from the stairwell and we run over to see what the hell was happenin’. Turns out Gaara kicked Kankuro down the stairs or somethin’, cause Kiba’s behind him laughin’ his ass off.

“You ready to go?” I ask him. Kiba nods and wipes the tears from his eyes. I see somethin’ glintin’ around his neck. He picks Kankuro up from the floor and kisses him one last time.

“Y’all come back soon,” Gaara waves from the top of the stairs.

 

* * *

 

It’s officially dark outside by the time I get gas, drop a passed out Kiba off at his house, and drive back to mine. I look across the street at Hellcat’s house and it’s dark. Like no lights, nobody’s home dark. I park Nami’s car and shake Shika awake again and hand him so he can sleepwalk to the couch. I’m right behind him, but Kakashi stops me in the doorway.

“Sasuke’s upstairs in your bed,” he whispers, “I think somethin’ bad happened.” Fuck, fuck _fuck._ I shouldn’t have left, I shoulda been here. I sprint up the stairs and to my room and there he is--lyin’ on my bed. I can hear somethin’ loud and raunchy, so he must have his Walkman with him. I creep inside--the tv ain’t on or nothin’, he’s just….lying there. I’m almost scared to touch him.

“Hey, Hellcat?” I call, I touch his arm gently and he fuckin’ _jumps_. I throw my hands up, “It’s me, it’s just me.”

He just gives me a sad fuckin’ look, “Hey.”

Christ, I wanna hug him, but the way he jumped stops me, “I’m sorry. I shoulda been here.”

He waves me off, “Don’t worry about it, I’m okay.” He’s not, I can smell it on him. “How’d everything go in Suna?”

I scoot closer to him on the bed and tell him about my day; from fallin down the stairs twice to the great plan to get Shika laid.

“And how’d _that_ go?”

“I have no idea; but when I came back from Sasori’s with Gaara, he was face deep in her titties, so that’s gotta count for somethin’.”

“I’m sure it does.” he yawns and lies down, “What’d you do at Sasori’s?”

“It was fuckin cool,” I gush, “I watched Gaara make a glass marble, and I made a bowl on the pottery wheel.”

Hellcat hums, “That sounds super fuckin’ cool.”

“It is, I’ll take you with me when I go back.”

Hellcat huffs, “Can I get a raincheck on that? I’m pretty sure I’m grounded for the next fuckin’ year, anyway.”

I lie down beside him, “How come?”

“Pissed Father off somehow. He fuckin’ punched me in the back in front of mom and they got to fightin’ so I came over here.

“Fuck,” I swear.

I shoulda been here, I shoulda been here, I shoulda been here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm late with this one, i know, i know. life is hard and adulting is...complicated.
> 
> but, it's a loooooong chapter. shit gets real from here on out!
> 
> if you wanna keep up with me around the internet you can find me @jazthestampede on tumblr and twitter! i post stuff on tumblr, but i'm usually more active on my twitter than anything else.
> 
> anyways, i love y'all and thank y'all for reading! your comments and kudos keep me writing!


	14. july 17, 1987

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a couple of homophobic slurs in this one, but they're mostly in the first couple of scenes.

_July 17, 1987_

_I don’t like myself right now. I can’t fuckin’ believe I broke my promise to Hellcat. He’s got every right not to trust me anymore and leave me in the fuckin’ dust._

_I get the feeling he’s not tellin’ me the whole story, though. Itachi was at home with Hellcat yesterday, but he aint come back with him last night. Did he get hurt, too? Did Miss Mikoto? I know it was bad, ‘cause I could smell blood on Hellcat, and there’s a blood stain on my pillowcase where his head was. It ain’t very big, but it’s there._

_I don’t know what the fuck to do. I already fucked up and broke a promise. I know I should tell, but I don’t wanna fuck up with Hellcat anymore than I already have. I don’t want him to get taken away from Miss Mikoto, I don’t want them to have to skip town to get away from that sick fuck, either._

_If I don’t tell Mommy, she’s gonna be real fuckin’ disappointed_ and _pissed at me. If I do tell, Hellcat’s gonna hate me and I don’t know which one is fuckin’ worse._

 

* * *

 

“What are those?” Hellcat asks as I whip a pill bottle outta my dresser and stare at the faded label.

“Ritalin.” I answer. I wonder if these are still any good, it’s been a good four or five months since I weaned myself off of ‘em. In retrospect, it was a really stupid idea; my concentration’s in the shitter and when I ain’t flittin’ around like a moth on speed, I’m fixated heavy on somethin’. This time that somethin’ just happens to be Hellcat, last time it was black beauties. It’s just a lucky thing that I’m only addicted to squares. “Don’t worry they’re mine--prescribed to me, I mean.”

“You got ADD?” I nod, “How come you never said anything?”

“It ain’t seem important.” I unscrew the top and shake one into the palm of my hand, “I kinda forgot, to be honest. I haven’t taken ‘em since February or March.”

“So why are you takin’ em now?” _‘Cause I forgot my promise to you and all I can think about is what if you didn’t get outta there, ‘cause I forget a lot of things and I don’t want you to be one of ‘em, even though you drive me crazy and I might be all the way in love with you no fuck that I know I am--_

I cut that train of thought right there, “I completely forgot that I told you I’d be here yesterday and you got hurt. I don’t wanna forget again.”

Hellcat scoffs, “I got hurt ‘cause I was in the goddamn way, it wasn’t your fault. It’s never your fault, Sunshine.” He scratches at his wrist, “But, don’t lemme stop you from takin’ your meds, either. Those are kinda important.” I dry swallow the pill and screw the cap back on the bottle. He’s right but still, I can’t help but feel like I fuckin’ failed him, just so I could get my brother in everything but blood laid. He pinches my shoulder, “Did you hear me through the cosmic fog cloudin’ up that noggin of yours?”

“I sure did,” but good _lord_ did I forget the bitter taste of Ritalin. Probably why I stopped takin’ it in the first place. I shiver and shake it off, flopping back onto my bed so I can stare at the back of Hellcat’s head. “So,” I start, “what exactly happened last night?”

He takes a deep breath, “He was piss drunk; came in the door and gunned straight for me screamin’, callin’ me a fuckin’ faggot, and punched me in the back before hemmin’ me up against the wall.” He pauses, “I don’t remember most of it; I think he tried to put my head through the wall, but I remember mommy and Itachi tryin’ to get him off me--oh, _fuck_ ,” His eyes widen,  mommy and Itachi--are they okay?” He stands up and grabs his hair, “Shit, shit, _shit_. I gotta go, I gotta fuckin’ go.”

I jump up and grab him, “Hey, hey--”

He throws me off, “You don’t fuckin’ _get it_ _,_  Naru. I left my mother and brother with that asshole--”

“Naru! Sasuke!” Oh shit, that’s Papa’s voice, and he sounds _upset_.

 

* * *

 

The scene in my livin’ room makes me wish I’d never gotten outta bed this mornin’; makes me wanna go back and slap the dog _shit_ outta my past self for leavin’ town yesterday. Well, we found Itachi and Miss Mikoto alright. Itachi’s sitting up on the couch with an ice bag over his face and Miss Mikoto’s on the loveseat, her right arm limp and useless at her side. She don’t look too worse for wear about the face though, just tired. Auntie Tsunade, downs whatever’s in her coffee mug and hands Miss Mikoto a rag.

“Go ahead and bite down on this for me, this is gonna suck.” she instructs. Miss Mikoto nods and bites down on the rag. Auntie puts a knee on the couch and grabs her arm, “Okay, you’re spasmin’ real bad, and you’ve been like this for _hours_?” Miss Mikoto nods, “Next time I lay eyes on that motherfucker I’ll break his neck.” Auntie slowly turns her arm a couple of times and grabs gently at the protruding bone and presses down on it slowly until there’s a loud pop and a grunt and holy shit I gotta turn away before I puke on the floor. Apparently Hellcat had the same idea. Jesus fuckin’ Christ. I hear Auntie pour somethin’ into a glass and turn around.

“Alright.” She rounds on me and Hellcat and points at him, “Sasuke, you’re next. Pull your shirt off and lemme see the damage.” He stiffens up before grabbing the hem of his shirt and pullin’ it over his head and goin’ to sit next to his mama. There’s dried blood on the back of his neck and a bruise the size of a goddamn grapefruit right where his right kidney is.

The look on my face must be fuckin’ murderous or horrified, ‘cause Papa strolls right up to me, grabs my shoulder and says, “C’mon Naru. We need to talk.”

 

* * *

 

  
My one, greatest fear in life is disappointin’ my parents; or anyone I care about, really. And the serious look on Papa’s normally patient face has got me ready to take off and hide under my bed and cry or somethin’. He sighs and digs in his pocket, pullin’ out a pack of half-crumpled Mavericks and handin’ it to me.

I pull one outta the pack and pass it back to him, “I thought you quit?”

He stuffs ‘em back in his pocket, “I did. These are Shikaku’s,” and pulls out a familiar Zippo, “and this is yours. Ya gotta quit lettin’ Kyu steal ya shit.”

I take the lighter, “He woulda gave it back once it was outta juice like he always does,” I light my square, “or before he skips town again.” God almighty, these are fuckin’ nasty. No wonder old man Shikaku’s always tired and cranky as hell.

Papa sighs and sits down next to me, “I worry about that boy sometimes; he’s got a wild hair up his ass like I ain’t never seen before, always has.”  He stares out at Granny Mito’s house, dead silent for a second before sniffin’ and scrunchin’ his face up, “Naru, put that out.” I throw the cigarette down and crush it under my foot.

“How is old man Shikaku still alive, smokin’ them things?” I ask.

Papa laughs, “You can’t talk, you smoke Newports.”

“Benson and Hedges cost too much.”

“Ya shouldn’t be smokin’ in the first place.” he gives me this look, “What’s goin’ on in the galaxy, son?” Fuck, I was afraid of this. Papa never has to say things directly, ‘cause you know _exactly_ what he means, what he wants you to tell him. He throws an arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer to his chest, “You’re not in trouble, kiddo. I just wanna know what’s goin’ on.”

I take a deep breath, “Auntie Tsunade told you about Mr. Uchiha comin’ over and hittin’ Nami with the door, right?”

“Kakashi told me, but yeah I know all about it. But do you know anything about last night?”

I shake my head, “No, I don’t.” I wish I did, though.

“Let me ask you a question then,” _Goddamnit_. “Do you dislike Mr. Uchiha?”

I let out a breath I ain’t even know I was holdin’, “I hate him, Papa.”

“Why?”

I swallow, “‘Cause he hurts people. He hurt Shika, he hurt Nami, he hurts his own family.”

He stiffens up, “Have you seen him hurt them?”

Before I can stop it, it comes bubblin’ outta my throat like barf, “I heard him fightin’ with Miss Mikoto a few days ago while I was over. I ain’t see nothin’ ‘cause I was upstairs with Hellcat the whole time, but I saw a bruise on Miss Mikoto’s wrist.” Papa is stone cold silent for a while and rubs his hand up and down my arm.

“Alright,” he lets go of me, “I got some paperwork to do. We gotta do more of this father-son bondin’ under better circumstances sometime, kid.”

I nod, “Yeah, whenever you got time.”

“Love you, monchichi.”

I roll my eyes, “Love you too, Papa.”

 

* * *

 

The vibe in the livin’ room ain’t no better when I walk back inside. Everyone’s all laid out, in pain and shit watchin’ The People’s Court. I can hear Papa talkin’ to someone in the kitchen. He’s probably on the phone with Mama and I don’t think I’m gonna be ready for that incomin’ shit storm any time soon.

I feel itchy under my skin; I feel like turnin’ tail and bookin’ it outta Konoha again, but I know I can’t. Not now, anyway. Nami comes outta the kitchen with an expression I ain’t seen on her face since she busted the windows outta that shitty ex of hers’ car. She grabs me by the elbow and drags me out the front door with her. She sits both of us down on the porch swing and turns towards me, “How much did you know?”

I scratch my arm, “‘Bout what?”

She rolls her eyes, “Mr. Uchiha.”

“Not a lot, I just happened to be at the Uchihas’ at the wrong time.” Or the right time, considerin’ today’s series of events. She nods at me to continue, “Nothin’ happened the first time I went over there; he just called you fat and me a fag.” We both roll our eyes at that and I open my mouth again, “But the second time, I was sleep in Hellcat’s room and he came home and started fightin’ with Miss Mikoto and I heard it all.”

Nami nods at me, “Good. Keep that story straight, ‘cause Daddy just called Mama and I could _feel_ her gettin’ pissed off.” She looks at me sideways, “Did you take your meds today?”

“Yeah?” I scratch my head, “How’d you know?”

“Ya brain ain’t buzzin’.” She rubs my head, “Why’d you decide to start takin’ ‘em again?”

“‘Cause I’m gettin’ bad again,” _and I’m fuckin’ stupid, a space cadet, a shitty boyfriend--_

Nami groans, “You ain’t stupid or a shitty boyfriend, Naru,” damn, did I say that out loud? “You’re the best thing in Hellcat’s life right now and no, you didn’t say it out loud but you know I can hear your thoughts.”

I hug her, “You’re the best sister, you know that right?”

“I sure did.”

 

* * *

 

 

I thank God everyday for Shikamaru Nara, ‘cause he knows how to get outta an awkward and shitty situation, and he does it _fast_. He comes out the front door and drags me down the stairs with him.

“C’mon, let’s go get a shoulder sammich.” He says, he ain’t even have the time to put his hair up in some kinda ponytail so it’s loose and fluffy down his back. He must’ve just got out the shower or somethin’.

We’re down the street and around the corner before I can even think to open my mouth, ‘cause it ain’t everyday that Shika gets up and drags you outta the house, usually it’s me or Kiba or Ino doin’ that to him.

“You think old man Chouza’s there today?” I ask.

Shika shakes his head, “Nah, it’s Friday. Mama Setsuko and Chouji are mannin’ the ship. Old man Chouza’s at the store.” I perk up instantly, if Miss Setsuko is there, then there’s gonna be fresh beignets and fresh funnel cake. I lick my lips just thinkin’ about it and Shika snorts at me, “Yeah Naru, I know the feelin’. I love her beignets.”

“They’re _so_ good,” I gush as we pass the Yamanaka Flower Shoppe, with two p’s and an e. I can’t get Nami to make beignets often, so Miss Setsuko is the person to get ‘em from. A mutual respect between chefs keeps the business goin’, I guess. It’s dark in the flower shoppe and there’s a sign on the door. Ino and Dei must be on lunch or somethin’. We finally get to Akimichi Barbecue and I can smell the fresh dough the second we get to the door. My stomach grumbles and  Shika outright laughs at me.

“Hey boys! Come in, grab a seat, have a couple berry tarts!” I wouldn’t change my folks for the world, but if I could actually be related to Miss Setsuko, I totally fuckin’ would be.  I walk in and immediately take a seat closest to the dessert case and Shika sits on the other side of the table. Miss Setsuko comes right on over with tarts on two pieces of foil, “Just finished these a couple minutes ago, tell me how they taste.”

“Mama Setsuko, you already know it’s perfect,” Shika drawls, pickin’ up the whole tart and gobblin’ it down in two bites. “It ain’t nothin’ less than perfection.” I nod and scarf mine down, too. Shika always did have a way with words that I’m fuckin’ jealous of.

Miss Setsuko puffs up with pride, “You’re a treasure, Shika-baby. A menace to society, but a treasure nonetheless.”

“And you wouldn’t have me any other way.”

“Damn straight,” she nods, “Naru-sweetie, how are you today?”

I look up from my empty piece of foil paper and lick the confectioner’s sugar off my fingers, “Just peachy, Miss Setsuko.”

“I hear that boyfriend of yours is a real cutie, when am I gonna get to meet him?” I shrug my shoulders; it probably ain’t gonna be today, with the impending shitstorm on the horizon. But I know I ain’t gonna get away with hoggin’ him all to myself all summer, not with school startin’ up again next month.

“I dunno, it’ll be soon though.”

She tugs on my earlobe, “Better be,” she whips out a little note pad, “alright, I know y’all are in here to mooch, so what can I get y’all today?” Me and Shika have the good grace to look offended, “Cut the shit, I know y’all like y’all my own children.”

“Two shoulder sammiches, please.” I order, then I think about the impending shitstorm at my house again, “Actually, could you make that,” I count on my fingers: Itachi, Sasuke, and Miss Mikoto, “Five please?”

She looks at me like I done lost my goddamn mind, “Five?”

I clasp my hands together and throw on the puppy dog eyes, “Please? It’s kinda an emergency, I’ll bring the money by later, I swear.”

She writes it down, “Alright, I’m trustin’ you. It’s gonna be 24 bucks, so remember that,” she turns toward the kitchen and hollers, “Lemme get five shoulder dinners, Punkin’!”

“Comin’ right up, ma!” Chouji yells back as he pokes his head out the double doors leadin’ to the kitchen and lays eyes on us, “Y’all moochin’ _again_?”

I turn and smile at him, “I’ll make Nami come with me when I come back later.”  He grins and ducks back into the kitchen. The front door chimes and in walk in Ino and Sakura, arms slung over each other’s shoulders and grins on their faces. Miss Setsuko whirls on ‘em with a smile of her own.

“Hi sweethearts! C’mon and have a couple berry tarts!” she greets, and ducks back into the kitchen to get said tarts.

“Hi Mama Setsuko!” Ino greets before throwing her and Pinky into the booth next to me and Shika. “So,” she rounds on me and gives me a look over her sunglasses, “what the hell is goin’ on at your house, Naru?”

I groan, “A nuclear crisis or somethin’ close to it.”

“Mama Kushina looked _pissed_.” Pinky adds. I’m ready to fuckin’ cry, man. If Mama’s home, that means Social Services is gonna be alllllllll over this like white on rice. “Mr. Hyuuga was there too.”

Oh, holy _shitfuck_ , “Which one?”

“Hinata’s dad. You know Neji’s dad ain’t comin’ back to Konoha any time soon.”

 _“Motherfucker.”_ Shika swears; really, I’m honestly like three seconds away from bawlin’ my damn eyes out. I can literally feel my tear ducts swellin’, my eyes feel fuckin’ _spicy_.

“Watch ya mouth, Shikamaru.” Miss Setsuko scolds, a serving platter in one hand, and a wooden spoon in the other, “‘Fore you make me use this.” Shika immediately straightens up. There are few things that can put the fear of God in that boy, and the biggest one of all is a wooden spoon. Not even Miss Yoshino’s extension cord tops the wooden spoon across ya knuckles. That’s a special kinda pain that even _I_ know. She sets the berry tarts down in front of Ino and Sakura and gives ‘em a special little smile. Pinky ducks her head and Ino pushes her glasses farther up her nose. Oh, I must’ve really missed somethin’ yesterday. Miss Setsuko turns to me, “Alright, Naru. Ya sammiches are almost done, do you want extra sauce or anything?”

“Can I get a tub of your crab meat potato salad?” I ask with the biggest grin on my face. She rolls her eyes at me and holds the wooden spoon in my face--I swear ‘fore Jesus _himself_ I ain’t never straightened up so quick a day in my life.

“Boy, you owe me thirty dollars. And I better have it before we close tonight, you hear me?” She gives me that look that all mamas know how to give, the one where you better explain yaself quick, fast, and in a hurry when it come time to. I’ll have Papa or Nami explain, chances are Mama’ll still be goin’ the fuck off. Just then Kiba comes bargin’ through the damn door, eyes wild and shit and Chouji comes outta the kitchen with three grocery bags full of sammiches.

“Sorry to bust in like this Miss Setsuko, but I need Naru and Shika.” Kiba pants. The  _right now_  goes unsaid, but we all hear it loud and clear. Me and Shika jump up from the booth, grabbin the bags and wavin’ at everybody on the way out the door. Kiba stands in between us and throws his arms around our shoulders, power walkin’ us around the corner as fast as he could.

“Alright, spill. _The fuck_ is goin’ on?” he whispers, Kiba never fuckin’ whispers. I bite my lips to keep my mouth shut.

Shika answers him for me though, “It ain’t our place to tell.”

Kiba continues to whisper, “Whatever it is, it had my Mama tearin’ ass outta the house like a bat outta Hell." Oh fuck, oh _fuck._

“Did she bring Kuromaru?” I manage to ask. My eyes are waterin’.

 _“And Akamaru._ Shika, ya pops is there, too. He was smokin’ a square with Naru’s dad and Kurama.”

“Aw _shit._ ”

 

* * *

 

The air is muggy as fuck by the time we turn down my street and head toward my house. Mama’s car is half on the fuckin’ tree lawn, Kurama is sittin’ outside on the porch swing, Mr. Hyuuga’s car is gone, but Mr. Nara’s Deuce and a Quarter is still there.

“You might not wanna go in there, they’re gettin’ statements and shit.” Kurama says as we trudge up the porch steps. Me and Shika hand him the bags of food and he heads inside while the three of us crash on the porch swing. I bury my head in my hands and start snifflin’. Shika swears and I can hear him reachin’ for his smokes. Kiba just sticks a hand in my ‘fro. Today’s just been nothin’ but bullshit from the fuckin’ _start_. I fuckin’ hate that man. I hope he chokes to death on a fuckin’ milk dud. I hope Auntie Orochimaru stabs him in the throat with a needle or somethin’. God, I swear I’ll kill him myself if I got to.

Why does bad shit have to happen to good people? People I love, no less. I can’t help it, my shoulders start shakin’ and I’m fightin’ to hold the sobs in but Kiba yanks me up and pulls me into a bear hug and I let the shit go.

  
It feels like fuckin’ hours before I stop rubbin’ my face on Kiba’s beater and the tears finally stop; but it’s really only like, maybe fifteen minutes, tops. Papa comes out on the porch, pulls out what looks like a joint from his pocket and lights it. It _is_ a fuckin’ joint. He stands there and just stares out at Granny Mito’s house for a while. No one breaks the silence until Papa scooches Kiba out the way, sits down, and passes the joint to me. I don’t take a hit, I just stare at it for a while until he sighs, “Naru, I know y’all smoke. This is a special occasion and you ain’t gon be allowed to do it again until ya grown. Gon’ ahead.” He ain’t gotta say another word, I put it to my lips and take the longest hit I think I’ve ever taken in my life.

“What’s goin’ on in there? Is everyone okay?” Kiba asks, I forgot he’s still outta the loop.

Papa sighs, “Yeah, everything and everyone’s gonna be alright. There’s just...some garbage we gotta take out.” He lifts an eyebrow and looks at all three of us. I think we all got the message. “Kiba, Mikoto, Sasuke, and Itachi  are gonna be stayin’ with y’all for a little while, until we can get this cleared up. Naru, you ain’t in trouble, but Mama wants to talk to you. Shika, I talked with Shikaku and you ain’t gotta go home for the rest of the summer if you don’t want to.” Jesus Christ on a poolstick, what the fuck happened while we were gone? Papa stands up and stretches, “I gotta go call Setsuko, thank you for gettin’ them somethin’ to eat, Naru. Nami probably ain’t gonna get a chance to make much for dinner tonight.” I nod and he digs his fingers in my ‘fro and scratches my scalp before walkin’ in the house.

“Naru, your dad is so fuckin’ cool.” Kiba mutters.

“You ain’t gotta tell me, I know.” I laugh. And for the first time today, I feel like everything is gonna be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know, i know. where the hell have i been? adulting is hard and exam season only makes it harder. but hey! summer's almost here, and with it comes my birthday!
> 
> how've y'all been though? did y'all miss me?
> 
> as always, thank y'all for reading! all y'all's comments and kudos make my life that much better!


	15. july 18, 1987

_ July 18, 1987 _

_ Well, the shit has officially hit the fan and in a big way. There’s literally shit everywhere. Luckily me and my folks are pretty good at cleaning it up. Me, Kurama, and Kakashi went over and helped Hellcat and pack up enough stuff to hold them over while they stay at Kiba’s, however long that’s gonna be. Papa suggested leaving Itachi’s car there, to lull Mr. Uchiha into a false sense of security. Miss Mikoto don’t drive, so there’s no reason for the car to have to go. Miss Tsume has enough cars in her yard to pick from, and if Itachi’s worth his salt as a mechanic, he’ll have one up and runnin’ in no time. _

_ Kiba’s really lookin’ forward to the company. I guess it gets lonely with him, Hana, and Miss Tsume all the time. Especially since Hana’s a vet tech and ain’t at home a lot. Honestly I think he’s just lookin’ forward to watchin’ his mama put the moves on Miss Mikoto and gettin’ to know what could be his future brothers.  _

_ Mama still ain’t talked to me yet, but she talked to Shika for a long, long time last night. I’m not sure what about, but he does have to stick to his curfew unless he’s out with one of us. That ain’t a lot to ask. Shika don’t get into shit by himself usually; it’s always either my fault or Kiba’s. I’m kinda dreadin’ the talk though, I feel like she knows that I knew what was goin’ on with Hellcat and Shika, and that means she’s gonna be real damn disappointed in me, but I don’t fuck around when someone places their trust in me. Never have, never will. _

 

* * *

 

 

I don’t know what to do with myself right now. Like, the vibe in the house is still really fuckin’ weird, even though everything seems normal. I almost don’t wanna get outta bed. It’s all just fuckin’ weird. There’s a knock at my door and I turn my head to look, it’s just Ma. She steps inside and kicks my jean cutoffs out the way.

“Naru,” she starts, “baby, you know I’m not mad at you, right?” Honestly, I ain’t too sure about that, I’ve been hiding full blown bodies in my closet of secrets lately and she knows it. She sits down next to me on my bed and looks at the bottle of Ritalin on my nightstand, “You started takin’ ‘em again?” I nod. “Proud of you.” I sit up and she wraps her arms around me and sticks her hand in my ‘fro. She’s quiet for a while until I hear her sigh, “It looks like I’ve been missin’ out on a lot lately,” and I just fuckin’  _ know _ she’s gonna ask the one thing I’m dreadin’, “what’s goin’ on in your galaxy, honeybee? Papa told me some of it, but I need the whole story so I can work this mess out.” 

I’m almost ready to start crying again, but I shake my head and sigh, “You already know most of this, but Mr. Uchiha is abusive. I’ve never seen him hit them  or nothin’, but I heard him and Miss Mikoto fightin’ before. And then yesterday happened.” I pause, my stomach’s turnin’, “I know Mr. Uchiha hates his wife and kids ‘cause he’s homophobic. He’s the reason Miss Yoshino beat Shika’s face in, why he’s got those cuts all down his chest,” Ma stiffens up, I guess she ain’t know about  _ that _ . “I’m sorry, mommy.”

She starts rockin’ me back and forth like a baby, and it calms me down pretty good, “Don’t be sweetheart, I know what it’s like to be a sixteen and hidin’ big secrets. Trust between friends is important, and I know no one wants to tell me anything goin’ on in their home lives ‘cause I’ll have to report it.”

“Sasuke ain’t gon’ get taken away or nothin’ is he? Will they have to leave Konoha?” I ask. 

Mama hums, “Not if they don’t want to.” I open my mouth, ready to ask about Shika, “Shika ain’t goin’ nowhere, either.”

“What happened with that, anyway?”

Mama sighs, “Shika and Yoshino got into a serious argument, well, it was more of her screamin’ ugly shit at him. Shikaku tried to calm her down and Shika went to his room.” she pauses, “Shikaku heard him jump off the balcony. He’s worried that might’ve been Shika tryin’ to kill himself.” It was, honestly. But Shika’s always kinda been--what’s the word--jaded, yeah that’s it; like he’s just tired of life and everything is pointless and he’s been like that since about fifth grade but it’s gotten way worse since Asuma got killed. “So he’s gonna convince Yoshino to let us have temporary custody of Shika while they work their shit out.”  _ That’s  _ gonna go well. Hell, Shikaku might be livin’ here soon, too. There’s a heavy ass  _ thunk thunk thunk _ on the front door, so hard it startles me and Ma both. 

“Who the fuck is that knockin’ on my door like they the damn police?” Ma yells.

 

* * *

“Where are they? I know you people had something to do with this!” Oh, it’s that motherfucker. Me and Ma stop dead at the bottom of the stairwell, listenin’ in.

“Look, Mr. Uchiha.” Kakashi starts, “I don’t know where your family is, I ain’t seen nothin’, I don’t know.” I hear Mr. Uchiha grunt and rattle the screen door. Me and Ma walk past the vestibule and I catch a glimpse of Mr. Uchiha. He’s fuckin’ greasy and I can smell the stink of shitty Colt 45 radiatin’ off of him. Apparently he catches a glimpse of me too, ‘cause he  _ really  _ starts rattlin’ the door and screams, “You! You little motherfucker! You did this, I know you did!” 

Kakashi stands up straight and I see he ain’t got his eyepatch or surgical mask on, “Whoa, hold the fuck up now.” 

I stop dead in my tracks and lift an eyebrow, “And?” 

He rattles the door again and Mama walks up behind Kakashi with a look that could turn Cerberus into stone, “Mr. Uchiha, if you don’t get off my goddamn porch with this bullshit, I’ll call Sheriff Hyuuga and  _ have _ you removed.” Mr. Uchiha makes this face like he wants to spit at Ma but turns around and thunders down the porch steps and across the street. Asshole. 

Kakashi shuts the door and deadbolts it, “Just in time for breakfast!”

 

* * *

“So you ain’t gon’ ask me what happened?” Kakashi asks around a mouthful of grits.

I scrunch my face up, “You’re disgustin’. And I figured you’d tell me anyway, because you’re a good older brother and you love me.”

“Love’s a loaded word.”

I snort, “Fuck off and tell me what happened already.”

Kakashi chews another spoonful of grits, “Well, you missed Auntie goin’ off, Pop asked a bunch of questions, Auntie called Ma and she called Mr. Hyuuga, everyone gave their statements, and Mr. Hyuuga took Itachi to the hospital for a CAT scan. He’s got one  _ hell  _ of a concussion.”

I wince, “He gonna be okay?”

“Should be, takes more than a wall to the noggin to take someone out.” 

“Naru! Phone!” Nami hollers. Oh boy, I wonder who it could be? I shuffle on over to the kitchen where Nami hands me the phone and a couple strips of bacon.

“Hoki Family Crematorium, you kill ‘em, we grill ‘em. Naru speakin’, how can I help you?” I greet through a mouthful of bacon.

“First of all, I’m mad that you know the word crematorium. Second, do you wanna go rollerskatin’ with us?”

I cradle the phone between my ear and shoulder, “Well hello to you too, Pinky.” I look at the kitchen clock, It’s barely eleven, it figures she’d be up and ready for the day and shit. She’s always been like that. “Who’s us?”

“Me and Ino.”

I snort a laugh, “You want me to third wheel with y’all?”

“Yeah, we kinda do. We ain’t hung out all summer, babe.”

I pop a piece of bacon in my mouth, “Is this a Three Dumb Blondes reunion?”

“We’re gettin’ the band back together, Elwood.”

I snort, “We’re on a mission from God, Jake. Lemme finish my bacon and we can go.”

 

* * *

I don’t exactly know what happened yesterday, but it’s clear as day that I missed somethin’ real damn important between Pinky and Ino. Like, I’ve been in the backseat of Miss Fumiko’s station wagon many, many times, but I’ve never seen them two like this before. They ain’t even actin’ different or nothin’, but somethin’ between ‘em changed. I could feel it yesterday too. I wonder if Pinky finally got her shit together? 

“So Naru-babe, did ya ever figure out what the hell was goin’ on at your house?” Ino asks, eyein’ me in the rearview mirror.

“Some shit is what happened, lemme tell ya.” I sigh, Ino turns the radio down and Pinky sits up straight in her seat. “I don’t think we gon’ have to worry about Mr. Uchiha fuckin’ with us too much longer.”

Ino scrunches her face up at that asshole’s name, “I ain’t even met the man and I want his ass gone. Dei said he was harassin’ him comin’ outta Genma’s the other night, thought he was either a dopehead or a queen.” 

I scratch my head, “Ain’t he a little bit of both?”

“Yes, but that’s beside the point. The point is the motherfucker was casin’ my damn cousin for no reason.”

“I hope Dei blows up his cruiser, or at the very least puts syrup in the tank.”

Ino goes quiet and stares at me through the rearview, “So  _ that’s _ what he was doin’ with that bottle of Karo syrup.” Me and Pinky crack up laughin’. Ino hooks a sharp right into the parking lot of PlayLand, finds a spot, and kills the engine. Her and Pinky grab their skates, get outta the car, and head across the parking lot hand in hand.

Okay, yeah. I totally missed somethin’.

 

* * *

 

 

“Naru, you showoff!” Pinky hollers at me as I spin and skate a circle around her and Ino before pushin’ off and jammin’ across the rink. We’re the only three in here today besides Tenten and Anko who are mannin’ the food court and skate rental desk. And Shino, who’s mannin’ the turntables. I make another lap and skate back to Pinky and Ino, who are still holdin’ hands and jammin’ on their own. 

I can’t help but laugh. They’re fuckin’ cute. The familiar tune of Paul Hardcastle’s Rainforest starts up and me, Ino, and Pinky group up again.

“It’s ya favorite song, Naru!” Ino smiles as I grab her and Pinky’s hands and practically drag them around the rink.

“Let’s show ‘em how it’s done.” I yell. 

Pinky snorts, “We’re the only people here, dummy.”

 

* * *

“So y’all two,” I start around a mouthful of fries, “what’s goin’ on here? Did Pinky finally tell you that she wants to wear your legs as earmuffs?” Pinky smacks the dog-shit outta me for that, like, so hard and so loud Anko and Tenten turn around and stare.

Ino hides her smile behind a hand, “Naw, I ain’t heard that one,” she gives Pinky a look, “but I’m not against it.” 

Now it’s Pinky’s turn to hide her face in her hands, “I hope you choke on a Gobstopper, Naru.”

“Been there, done that. Went to emergency and Auntie laughed at me, remember?”

Ino snorts, “Yeah, I remember you hocked that shit up so hard you cracked the window in the exam room.”

I turn to Pinky, “Did they ever fix that?”

Pinky sucks her teeth, “Hell naw.”

 

* * *

“So, where to next?” I sling my arms around Pinky like a sloth and attach myself to her back.

“Well, I don’t know where you goin’, but I’m takin’ Pinky to the movies.” Ino says.

I pout, “What? Y’all just gon’ leave me in the dust?”

Pinky shakes me off, “Payback’s a bitch, ain’t it Naru?” I don’t even get a chance to catch my bearings when they both take off for the car and peel outta the lot. Without me. 

“Y’all a couple of fuckin’  _ hags _ !” I holler after them. They both flip me the bird.

Dammit, now I gotta walk home. I dig in my pocket and groan. I forgot my smokes. 

“Shit.”

 

* * *

For all my dad’s a public figure and shit, don’t nobody in town actually like us, his kids I mean. Ms. Tenma keeps her ol’ shrivelled up, dry ass eyes on me as I walk past her house, like I’m really finna egg up her porch or somethin’ just ‘cause Kurama did that shit  _ one time-- _

Hold up. I hear tires crunchin’. I look behind me, nothin’. Oh well. I continue on my merry fuckin’ way and cross the street and there it is again. 

“The fuck?” I mumble. Someone is fuckin’ followin’ me. I grit my teeth, I wish I had my fuckin’  _ smokes _ , my skin’s crawlin’.

Alright Naru, now what did mama and Papa tell you to do in case anyone followed you and you didn’t know if you could fight ‘em off? I stop at the abandoned apartment on the corner and grab a loose brick. Okay, now what else? I look around--still don’t see nobody, but I know as soon as I turn my damn head I’mma hear them tires again. 

And I’m right. So I turn my ass around and head back where I came from, b ack toward the police station.

 

* * *

“What did you tear up now, Naru?” 

I roll my eyes, “I ain’t do nothin’ Mr. Inoichi.”

Old man Inoichi just stares at me, “You? Here of your own free will? I must be sniffin glue.”

I slap my hands and the brick on the desk, “I’m not playin’, I’m bein’ followed.”

Mr. Inoichi eyes the brick straightens up, “Say what now? Did you see them?”

I huff, “Not exactly, but I kept hearing someone drivin’ behind me and I  _ know  _ I took my meds this morning--”

“Alright, alright. I’ll get Hiashi and we’ll take you home.”

 

* * *

“Do you know anyone who’d want to follow you, Naru?” Sheriff Hyuuga asks me as I get in the car. Yeah, I know someone all right, but would he believe me?

“Mr. Uchiha.” I might as well be totally honest here, “He came to my house this mornin’ and he wasn’t too happy about it.” 

Sheriff Hyuuga pulls out of the parking lot and onto the street, old man Inoichi right behind him in his own cruiser, “Kushina called me about that. It’s a good thing you stopped in, Naruto. I need to ask you a few questions about this Uchiha business.” My heart drops to my ass, “You aren’t gonna be in any trouble, and we’ll make sure your little boyfriend and his family are able to stay in town.”

Damn it, did Ma rat on me?

“Language. No, Kushina didn’t rat on you.”

I sigh, “Ask away.”

“Did you know anything? Before last night?”

“Yes.” It wasn’t my business to tell.

“Did you ever see Mr. Uchiha hit his family?”

“No.” That much is true, anyway.

“Then how did you know about it?”

I take a deep breath, “I was there when Mrs. and Mr. Uchiha were having a fight, and it was loud enough for me to hear from upstairs.”

It’s quiet for a while. Sheriff Hyuuga looks at his driver’s side mirror and I can see him frown before turning down a side street close to mine. “You still got that brick, Naruto?”

I hold it up, “I never let it go in the first place.” 

He looks through his side mirror again, “Good,” He stops and turns into the alley, then turns again onto my street. He pulls into my driveway and kills his engine, “Alright, we’re gonna sit here until you get in the house. Make sure you call in if you see anything else weird or you feel off, alright?”

I nod and open the car door, “I will, Mr. Hyuuga.” True to his word, him and Mr. Inoichi watch me get all the way in the house and lock the door.

I flop down on the couch and finally let go of the brick. 

What the fuck was that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, i have returned. i hate that it took two months, though.  
> uh, my dog died last month and i've kinda been having a rough time adjusting and stuff.  
> adulting in general is really, really tough. but, ya gotta do it, right?  
> i should be...slightly better with updates now. but with college starting up next month, we'll see.   
> as always thanks for reading! y'all make my days that much better!  
> (and if you want to you can follow me @jazthestampede on tumblr)


	16. july 19, 1987

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (pregnancy tw for a conversation involving a trans character.)

_July 19, 1987_

_This is complete horse shit. I can’t leave the fuckin’ house. None of us can. Not me, not Shika, not even Kiba. And Hellcat’s definitely outta the equation._

_The funny shit is, no one’s seen hide nor hair of Fugaku Uchiha since he was on my porch. It’s like he’s skipped fuckin’ town. Mr. Hyuuga can’t even find that shitty ass cruiser of his—and that man can spot a jizz stain on a white sheet fresh outta the wash. So how come I’m still stuck here like I’m the one on punishment?_

_I feel fuckin’ itchy. I hate not being able to just get up and go whenever I want to. Like Ma and Papa don’t even want Nami leavin’ ‘cause of this raging dickhead. This ain’t no way to live. I get they just want us safe and this is just cabin fever gettin’ to me but holy fuckin’ shit. For once in my life, I didn’t actually do anything to get me into this mess._

_I hate my boyfriend’s dad. He got my ass out here actually seekin’ help from Konoha’s goddamn finest. I ain’t scared of him, never will be, but I can sense somethin’ real evil in him. I can’t let nothin’ happen to Hellcat. Or Miss Mikoto and Itachi._

_I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something did._

* * *

 

“Naru, phone!” Nami yells from downstairs.

Motherfuck. I grab my remote and pause _The Outsiders._ “Who is it?” I yell back.

I can hear her roll her eyes, “It’s Kiba!” I roll off my bed and step over a pile of dirty clothes.

“I’m comin’, I’m comin’!” I holler. Jesus Christ on a fuckin’ coke bender.

 

* * *

 

“Roadkill Café, you kill it, we grill it. How may I help you?”

“Depends, are you still mopin’ around like a moody chick on her period?” There’s a pause and a muffled thump on Kiba’s end, “Ow, Ma!”

I laugh, “That’s what the fuck you get.”

Kiba grumbles, “I deserved it.”

I clear my throat, “So… does this conversation have a purpose ‘cause I’m definitely a whole forty minutes into The Outsiders and I don’t appreciate bein’ taken from my movie—”

“Well, don’t let me stop you.” It’s Hellcat. Oh. Okay.

“Hey,” I swallow.

“How’s it goin’, Ponyboy?”

I groan, “It’s a shit show, Cherry-babe. Y’all’re alright, though?”

“Yeah, we’re okay. How come you ain’t tell me Kiba’s family was awesome?”

I grin, “I take it y’all are gettin’ along?”

“Miss Tsume made _so_ many pancakes.”

“You gonna save me some?”

“No,” he deadpans, “absolutely not.”

I laugh, “That’s fair. I’d never get to eat ‘em anyway.”

Hellcat gets quiet for a minute, “I hear you’re on lockdown, too.”

Well, there goes the fuckin’ mood, “Yeah. It ain’t all bad though, the ol’ perv, Auntie Orochimaru, and the ol’ hag’re here and it’s like, one long ass episode of All My Children.”

Hellcat snorts a laugh, “Sounds like fun.”

“Yeah,” I trail off, wrappin’ the phone cord around my fingers, “I fuckin’ miss you, though.”

“I miss you too, Sunshine.”

I clear my throat, “So tell me how y’all’re doin’, like, for real. Nami’ll kick my ass if I don’t ask about Itachi and Miss Mikoto.”

Hellcat perks back up, “’Tachi’s good. He’s like a kid in the candy store with all the cars in the yard. Miss Tsume told him he could work on ‘em as soon as he feels better.” He hums, “Mommy’s good, Hana and ‘Tachi are like, best friends now.”

I nod, even though he can’t see me, “I figured they’d get along, seein’ as how they both love the shit outta Nami. Sounds like y’all are happy over there.”

“It’s _so_ much better, Sunshine.” I can hear the smile in his voice.

I grin, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Hellcat gets quiet again, “Naru?”

I hold my breath, “Yeah, babe?”

“I—” I hear Kiba and Miss Tsume’s voices in the background, “It’s feedin’ time. I’ll call you later, okay?”

I swallow, “Okay, I’ll definitely be here this time.”

“Tell Nami that ‘Tachi says he misses the shit outta her.”

I laugh, “She’ll be glad to hear it. She’ll be callin’ over there soon enough.”

“Okay, I’ll let him know.”

We’re both quiet, I guess neither one of us wants to hang up, “Alright, babe. I love you.”

Hellcat groans, “God, you’re so fuckin’ gross.”

I cackle, “But you love it though.”

“The jury’s still out for deliberation.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll stop teasin’. I got a movie to finish, anyway.”

“Stay gold, Ponyboy.”

“You too, Cherry.” I hang up. Nami comes back into the kitchen.

“You alright, Naru?” She asks. I really ain’t, but I don’t wanna talk about it, either. I guess she figures it out, ‘cause she just wraps me up in a hug and lets me go back upstairs.

 

* * *

 

“Naru,” a voice calls, “NARU!” Then there’s a sigh and next thing I know, I’m on the receivin’ end of the world’s worst titty twister.

My eyes shoot open—when did I fall asleep in the first place—and I’m starin’ Gaara in them big ol’, pretty eyes of his, “What the fuck?!” I holler.

Gaara sits down on the beanbag chair like ain’t shit happened, “Well, hello there Naruto Uzumaki.”

I groan and sit up to look at the tv; the screen’s blue so I must’ve been out for a while.

“You usin’ government names when I don’t even _know_ yours? That’s low, dude.”

Gaara flashes a quick grin, “Maybe I’ll tell you one day.”

“Is one day today then?”

“Absolutely not. Though if you really wanted to, you could prolly find it in a newspaper.”

I shrug, “Nah, I want you to tell me whenever you want to.”

Gaara laughs, “Then never.”

“Alright,” I say, “That works for me then.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.”

“I knew there was a reason I kept you around.”

I gasp, “It ain’t ‘cause of my good looks or driver’s license?”

Gaara laughs, “You ain’t the only one with a driver’s license, Naru.”

“Well that would explain why the hell you’re in my room. But what the fuck are you doin’ here?”

“I overheard Kiba and Kankuro on the phone—and before you ask, _yes,_ it was fuckin’ sappy and _disgustin’_ —so I decided to be a good friend and come lay eyes on ya.”

I clasp my hands together and bat my lashes at him, “You’re the best, you know that?”

Gaara yawns, “I mean, you ain’t called me or came back to finish up that bowl you made,” I run a hand down my face, I fuckin’ forgot about that, “don’t worry, I finished it. But like, what the fuck’s goin’ on?”

I flop back onto my pillow, “I don’t fuckin’ know dude. Mr. Uchiha’s stalkin’ me, and our parents are fuckin’ freaked out about it.” Gaara nods so I just keep goin’, “He a real piece of work, y’know? Like, as wild as it get around here sometimes, there ain’t never been no shit like this. i ain’t never did shit to no one and ain’t never been a target before. I dunno what the fuck to do.”

“Well,” Gaara starts, diggin’ in his pocket for somethin, “in your case, you can’t do shit about it. Otherwise I’d just tell you to beat the livin’ shit outta him and call ya old man to post bail and get the charges dropped.”

I nod, “Wise words.”

He pulls a pack of cigarettes outta his pocket, “You’re talkin’ to the best. Got a light by chance?” I toss my lighter at him. He lights up and takes a drag, “Truth be told? I dunno how to help you. Hellcat’s dad is a real fuckin’ threat.”

“Tell me about it,” I groan, then I catch a whiff of what Gaara’s smokin’, “Is that a clove cigarette?”

“Yeah, tryin’ somethin’ new.” He squishes the cherry of his square between his thumb and forefinger, “I don’t like ‘em.”

“So why smoke ‘em then?”

“Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em, I guess. I’m tryin’ to quit anyway.”

I lift an eyebrow, “Huh?”

“I had a crisis and realized just how short my life is.”

“Well cloves ain’t gon’ make it no better, they got more nicotine than Newports and that’s sayin somethin’.”

Gaara groans, “You always gotta make sense. Why do you ruin my aesthetic like this?”

“Because I love and care about you and all of your crises.”

“Crises, huh? You been brushin’ up on your vocab for school?”

“Maybe, I gotta pass the fuckin’ graduation test, don’t I?”

“Yeah, you do. Gotta make us all proud and shit.” We’re quiet for a minute and then he speaks up again, “Hey Naru, I got a question for ya.”

I turn on my side, so I can get a better look at him, “Shoot.”

Gaara sighs, “So let’s say I made a…decision to sleep with someone, and we ain’t use protection or nothin’—”

“Are you sayin’ what I think you’re sayin’?”

Gaara glares at me, “I ain’t said _shit_ yet, lemme fuckin’ finish.” I nod, “So anyway, we ain’t use any kinda protection and I ain’t on birth control ‘cause my fuckin’ dad won’t let me take it. And it might just be sinkin’ in right now that I really did that shit and it might come back to bite me in the ass. What do you think I should do?”

I hum, “Depends, was it a one-night thing?”

He groans, “I don’t fuckin’ know.”

“Do you like this person?”

“Kinda? He’s real damn sweet, and he makes me laugh.”

My jaw drops, “Holy shit.”

He laughs, “Right? He kinda reminds me of you, a dumbass with a heart of gold.”

“He can’t be _too_ stupid, I mean—look atcha, you’re a fuckin’ babe.”

“You’re absolutely right, I got another question for ya.”

“Go ahead.”

“Does Hellcat make your stomach feel all jittery like you either gotta puke or fart?”

I snort, “All the fuckin’ time.”

“…Then I guess I’m screwed then, huh?”

“Completely and utterly.”

He huffs a laugh, “Guess I should tell ‘Mari to stock up on toilet paper then.”

“That would be a most righteous idea.”

It’s quiet for a long time again until Gaara pipes up again, “So you ain’t gon’ ask what his name is?”

I shake my head, “It ain’t none of my business. If ya wanna tell me then you’ll tell me.”

He beams at me, “See, I knew it was a reason I made you my best friend.”

“So,” I start, “What are you gonna do if that turns out to be the case?”

Gaara shrugs, “Do right by ‘em, I guess? They ain’t ask to be here, y’know?” I nod, and he continues, “I’ll do what I gotta do.”

“And what about your dude?”

Gaara shrugs, “He can do whatever; if he wanna stick around, cool. If not, oh damn well.”

“You right.”

Gaara wiggles his fingers in his front jean pocket—how he can stand to wear black jeans in this god forsaken heat I do _not_ know—and pulls out a car key.

“I asked Auntie Kushina and she said I could spring ya for the day as long as I brought you back in one piece.”

I shoot straight up, “She did?”

“Yeah, Mr. Uchiha don’t know my car, or me for that matter. Plus, I parked in the back and unless he got x-ray vision, he won’t see us leave.”

I point to a pair of cut-offs by his feet, “Toss them over here with your aposable monkey toes, please.”

Gaara snorts, “You’re a bastard, Naru.”

“Hey, I learned it from the best.”

 

* * *

 

“Do ya know which one yet?”

“No. There’s so many.”

I pick up a box, “It says here all you gotta do is pee on the stick—”

“Hey Naru! Did you need some help—” a voice cuts in, “oh. Hi, Gaara.” I turn around and I’m nose to chin with Lee.

“Oh, hey Lee,” I start, “We’re good.” Lee nods and gives Gaara this look before turnin’ around and headin’ back to whatever shelf he’d been stockin’. And it hits me that the last time Gaara was here in Konoha, that he was sittin’ with Lee. But no— _no; no fucking way._ I keep my damn mouth shut though, and continue lookin’ at the boxes on the shelf.

“I remember Nami usin’ this one. But she said it took two hours—” Gaara gives me a look and I put that box back and pick up the one I had before, “This one says it’ll only take a minute.” He nods and I pick up two, just to be safe.

“Thanks for doin’ this for me, Naru.”

I shrug, “It’s nothin’. This ain’t the first time I’ve done this.” Gaara lifts an eybrow, “Not like that, I’ve never even slept with a girl before.” Both brows are up now, “Swear to god.” That time with Pinky doesn’t _actually_ count ‘cause we ain’t get nowhere ‘cause she was drunk and tore up over Ino and I wasn’t finna fuck up a lifelong friendship like that.

Gaara snorts, “Well what about—”

“No,” I cut him off right there, “You’re not a fuckin’ girl.”

A bitter laugh, “But we have slept together before.”

“Still ain’t a girl.”

“And yet, here I am.”

I slap the boxes in my hands back down onto the shelf and grab him by the shoulders, “Look, this doesn’t make you anything less than what you are: a braver fuckin’ man than any of us. I couldn’t do what you’re fuckin’ doin’. Not even half of it.” I grab the boxes off the shelf again and head toward the counter.

“You comin’ dude?” That gets a grin outta him.

Luckily, Lee ain’t the one checkin’ us out. Instead it’s some girl from ‘round the neighborhood that gives me a funny look. I give her the finger, slap the money on the counter and roll my eyes at her when I take the bag and my change back.

“Fuck’s her problem?” Gaara asks the second we’re back out in the heat.

“Hell if I know. Her mama can’t stand me and I guess the apple don’t fall far from the goddamn tree.”

“That’s so sad. You’re a fuckin’ gem, Naruto Uzumaki.”

“Ditto, Gaara no last name.”

“Wanna go see Kiba for a lil’ bit before I get outta here?” Gaara asks when we get to the car.

I look at him sideways, my hand still on the door handle, “I thought you came to spend time with me?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I did.” He says as he gets in, “But I gotta be back before six-thirty ‘cause my mama gotta be somewhere before seven and her car’s in the shop.”

I nod and get in, “Let’s do it.” It’ll be good to surprise Hellcat.

“Plus I gotta go rescue Kankuro. Kiba’s mama looks like she eats little punk kids for breakfast.”

I cackle, “Auntie Tsume’s sweet. She ain’t gon eat him, that’s Kuromaru’s job.”

“Like hell I’m finna miss _that_.” He cranks the engine, “So where am I headed?”

“You think I’m ‘bout to miss an opportunity like this? Let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

“Naru what the fuck.”

I grin at the dumbfounded look on Hellcat’s face as I wave Gaara inside and deadbolt Auntie Tsume’s back door shut, “Well hello to you to babycakes; hope you don’t mind that I let myself in.”

“Naru? Is that you, _mijo_?” I hear Auntie Tsume’s voice call from the living room.

“It sure is. Hey, Auntie!” I holler back. I look back to Hellcat who’s still fuckin’ outdone that I’m here, “So are you gonna—” He cuts me off by barelling into me full tilt.

“You’re fuckin’ stupid, you know that right?” He mumbles deep from where his face is buried in my ‘fro, “So damn _stupid_.”

I can’t help but laugh, “Always for you.”

“God you’re corny.”

“You love it.”

There’s a long pause and he squeezes me a lil’ bit tighter, “Yeah.”

Whoa, okay. “So, are there any pancakes left?” I ask, officially ruinin’ the moment.

“I take it back, I fuckin’ hate you.”

“Nuh-uh, no takebacks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi. i love y'all, y'all know that?  
> sorry i took so long, i got a second job and school started back up and i barely have time to sleep, let alone write.  
> but hey, this fic's a year old as of halloween! and i'm still writing it!  
> (there's like 2 more weeks until its official ao3 birthday though.)
> 
> as always though, thank all of y'all for reading it. it truly means the world to me. like the fact that y'all are still here almost a year later and still reading is mind blowing.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Promise Baby, You'll Love Me Forevermore](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15196520) by [imaginaryari (adrenalinsoo)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adrenalinsoo/pseuds/imaginaryari)




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